Ratchet TV RECAPS: Love & Hip-Hop Atlanta Season 2 Episode 2

15 minutes before the show starts and I'm not sure I want to keep watching. Last season I wavered because there were points when it seemed TOO scripted. I know what I DO NOT WANT TO SEE: Mimi looking stupid. Her level of stupidity is almost unbelievable. I'm hard pressed to believe it's all for the sake of good tv. Anyway, in case you're just tuning in to these posts here's how it goes: 

I watch LAHH: ATL during the first showing and share my unfiltered thoughts about the goings on of the episode. Throughout this time you are free to add comments as you see fit. I will update the post after each commercial break and add final commentary and photos. Viola! Magic. 

*Sips wine*

I'm here for the women with boyfriends and boo thangs who refuse to watch LAHH:ATL with them.  

Good thing I tuned in 2 minutes early. Caught another preview of what's to come this season. Gotta admit I'm STILL not excited. 

SHOWTIME!!! 

8:01PM Joseline starts off the episode with Stevie J in her bed. Dah well guess the love triangle still lives on. Joseline tells Stevie for the umpteenth time she wants to let their "relationship" go. Joseline says her job is to be a "bad bitch." Stevie seems to think he's some sort of "gatekeeper." 

8:04PM Erica welcomes Scrappy home. I assumed he was in jail, but she says he was out doing shows. Scrappy is rockin the finest mall kiosk jewelry and the best designer clothes a booster can remove the security tags from. Ooooooh snap! He's rockin a leather vest. Let me find out Joe Budden has an underground vest line. Wait Scrappy's government name is Darryl? But he wants us to call him Skris-nah-eee? Noted. 

8:07PM Who is this motherfu. . .beloved woman? Oh DJ Traci Steele. Never heard of her. Her claim to fame is that she dated Chris Brown's DJ 6 years ago. Is that supposed to mean something? Ok girl. I'm putting my tv on mute. I'm gonna guess this is the person who will say, "They only want you cuz you're Chris Brown's DJ." She strikes me as the type of woman who had a baby to keep a man. & failed. Miserably.

**Break**

8:16PM Mimi is in the gym punching bags with KC 2.0. Yeaaa, but she sat there and let Joseline play her to the left in her house. Joseline would proly mollywhop Mimikins. "You can't watch over a man" is perhaps the smartest thing I've ever heard KC 2.0 say. Mimi says she's not doing it anymore. I don't believe her. She's too old for this shit. Really.

8:19PM Joseline meets some kid named Dawn at Thrive in Atlanta. Somethin about them being hustlers. Chile they used to be hooking together. She tells Joseline how much she's been making. I find it disturbing that she's so "about" her money, but she doesn't know what's on the books or in her contract. "I'm just fucking him, going out to eat, having fun." Ok girl. 

8:22PM Momma Dee met up with Buckeey. Why is she here  feeding this poor girl lies behind the wheel of a Coupe de Ville? Momma Dee decided it was ok to invite Buckeey to the studio. She reminds me of one of those women from "The Wire."

**Break**

8:28PM That DJ girl is back. Her name is Traci and she keeps calling her son Baby Drew. Traci lost her mind because she thought having a baby would make him stay around. He just straight up asked her for $25k to help him open a sneaker store. She co-signed a truck that he let "groupie bitches" drive. She's so bitter. Everything for her goes back to hoes. This right here is a woman scorned. She's what I call "a stupid hoe." She's REALLY letting this man sell her pipe dreams. Amazing. 

8:31PM Scrappy visits Erica's mom. Why are there so many undone buttons on his button down shirt? Her mom wants to know some thangs. Can't blame her. 

8:33PM Joseline meets up with Stevie. She asks questions about her contract. He refuses to give her a copy of her contract. This feels like one of those deals where the artist gets a Cadillac. Stevie J is a pimp ass negro. 

**Break** 

8:39PM Mimi secured her own spot. No not with Stevie J. She got her own place for real this time. & she probably didn't even need a co-signer. I get the feeling this is a first for Mimi. I don't know about KC 2.0 as her main confidante. Her ass is so big and perky tho #norainbow LOL!

8:40PM Scrappy is in the studio. "He put them paws on em" is about to be a real life single. I can already tell it's gonna be TRASH or what would he call it? Triz-nah-ee. Momma Dee is totally in love with her son. It's disgusting. In walks Buckeey. This is pitiful. Pretty sure Momma Dee wants to dip her finger in that sugar bowl. Sittin up there lookin like Scar. 

**Break** 

8:45PM Buckeey thinks Scri-nah-eee owes her an apologiz-nah-ee. Scar leaves at the perfect time and they are alone. I guess this is Buckeey's way to get her closure. She's ugly crying on tv tho and her weave is triz-nah-ee. Shay says she deserved better because she is "a good person." That is what everyone says. It carries no weight. Who is gonna voluntarily proclaim to be a bad person? 

8:48PM Stevie goes to see old man no-neck (Benzino). What world are we living in where Benzino is the voice of reason? & he's upset Stevie changed his number? So is he one of the people riding Stevie's "bus?" Why is Stevie drinking and driving tho?

**Break** 

8:55PM Alright let's see what cliffhanger will make us want to tune in next week. Stevie comes home with flowers and a gift. He's been gone for a few days & calls it "taking care of business." Please. He's been laid up in sin with Joseline. Well this went LEFT quite quickly. I don't think I've ever seen a man use a child as a tool for control. He has real control issues. 

We get to see that Stevie won't take Mimi's leaving him sitting down. He gets man handled by security. Momma Dee and Erica will eventually try to get physical as well as Rashida and KC 2.0. I do know one thing: There are a lot of angry and bitter people on this show. 

Well there ya have it folks. Episode 2 is over. Will you be tuning in next week? 

RATCHETLANTA BACK: Love & Hip-Hop ATL's Season 2 Premiere

Before we get started...I need y'all to know how EXCITED I am to return to blogging. I know it's a little much that I decided to return along with Love & Hip Hop Atlanta, but I'm not bothered by your judgment. I thought it fitting since LAHHATL helped me realize my blogging potential. 

I started a full-time job this past February so I haven't been particularly motivated to blog after writing and looking at computer screens for a living. All I got is a promise and a desire to do better. As soon as I can find a balance, I'll get back to keeping you all in the loop about the ratchet goings on in this world. 

I apologize in advance cuz I know this post shall be laced with cuss after cuss. Forgive me if you're offended. 

In case you don't know where we left off...you can read my recaps from the reunion HERE and HERE. 

8:00PM As always, we start with a recap of what happened last season. We've got Buckeey, Steebie Joseline, Mimi, Rasheeda, K. Michelle's crazy ass and the others. Don't bother telling me their names. Them shits don't matter 

Bring on the gah damn show! 

8:02PM Confession: I'm not sure what to expect. I'm just ready to get to seeing some tables shaking. Wait a minute. Why are we watching Mimi shower? Was there a question about her cleanliness? Is she combating stanky puss rumors with this shower scene? I'm asking for a friend :). 

This basic bitch (yes, I called her a bitch!) Mimi starts out saying she's cleaning house and then we cut to find out she's at Stevie J's house. OMG their daughter is adorable!!!!! Mimi's really on her bullshit again this season I see. Word on the street is Stevie has a mean stroke. Dickmatization is real outchea. 

8:05PM We cut to Erica and Scrappy's house. Erica's helping Scrappy humblebrag about his designer "swag." Why is this room looking so empty? Scrappy claims he can't wear anything twice. I've heard that he keeps the boosters paid sooooooo I'm not buying all this "swag." 

8:07PM And here we go. Joseline finally gets her air time. She's in rehearsal. Stevie says they're the hottest team in the industry. Goodness Joseline has a phatty! In case you didn't know, they hand out phatty's in Atlanta at the Waffle house. Go get you one! But get in line behind me. 

**Break**

8:15PM Buckeey gets her time to shine bright like aluminum foil. She's tryna understand how Scrappy played her to the left. Of course she's decided the best way to get answers is to confide in Momma Dee. Momma Dee is what folks in the hood would call "Green as f*ck!" Look it up on Urban Dictionary.

8:17PM It's K. Michelle's turn in the flashlight. She says her life is amazing because of her deal with Warner Brothers. Kudos to her. I'm still thinkin she's the same crazy she was last season. I just don't wanna hear her talk about how that man beat her ass. She also mentions somethin about having "fans." Not sure where that came from. 

8:20PM Erica and her mom are in a jewelry store. HOLY SHIT! They're getting her ring appraised. This is some disrespectful low down dirty kinda shut yo mouf. Wow! Just Wow! Now if he comes back & tells her it's worth $700 she gone be mad. Well it's worth $21, 200. Woop de damn doo. 
**Break**


8:26PM Somebody done gave BenNONECKZino a late night show on v-103 in Atlanta. Still no word on whether his neck is scheduled to make an appearance. Jury is still out after he simped for Karlie Redd last season. Joseline reveals she makes about "20 stacks per week doing shows." That's $20,000. I'm clearly in the wrong career field. Joseline is 26? Damn life been rough on her. I'da put her at 31. Oops. 


8:29PM K. Michelle & Erica are having dinner. Not much to discuss here except that K. Michelle wants to throw Erica an "intimate engagement party." & now we start to set up for the first fight of the season. KC 2.0 is ALWAYS looking for drama. Y'all know that. Ariane (Mimi's friend) revealed she once opened up her HOT POCKET for one of Keyshia Cole 2.0's exes and she hadn't told her. That's a violation of the G code in KC 2.0's eyes. How in the world is she still finding ways to be hurt? Girl BYE! 

8:31PM Stevie J walked up in Joseline's apartment like he owned that hoe. Nice to see that Joseline has these wall applique flowers from Ikea in her place. She's just a regular woman like you & me. In case you couldn't tell by now, these two are still smanging. Mimi must be a terrible lay. 

**Break**

8:37PM MiMi & Ariane are en route to Erica's engagement party. In the words of Katrina Laverne: "Oh is all of this over some dick?"Soooo this engagement party is a table at a lounge? I hope my friends like me enough to throw me a big hat tea. 

8:40PM MiMi explains she's living with Stevie to keep Joseline from around her daughter. Nobody is buying it, but we're not here to judge. Girl get you some gah damn sense, k? Meanwhile, Erica is tryna establish her victory with Lil Scrappy. Wonder who he's gonna put them paws on this season?

Here comes our first conflict. I hope y'all have learned to spot this kinda shit from a mile away. If you haven't, please email me because I have failed you. Ariane says she fucks with KC 2.0 & KC 2.0 says she fucks with her too. Not sure why they're yelling tho. BTW, I love Ariane. Hold up. These heffas just kissed on the lips. Wonder how much residual dic...nevermind. 

**Break**

8:45PM Is it creepy that I think Momma Dee is the kind of single muva to be in love with her son? Moving on. Momma Dee showed up to make a case against Scrappy's fiance. I know that's his moms and all, but Scrappy's mama needs help. I can understand Scrappy's mindset because I get to see how the person who raised him acts. She's certified! 

Who gives a good got damn how Buckeey feels? She needs to move on. Scrappy tells his mom to respect his decision and to try to have a relationship with Erica. That's real life right there. 

8:48PM Stevie J asks MiMi whether she's happy. Guess gettin good pipe aint good enough for her these days. She says they have been spending more time together since he kicked Joseline out. Duh! Don't yaw live together? She cannot be this damned clueless! 

8:50PM Joseline walks into Stevie's house. No knock. No doorbell. No announcement of who she is. She probably still has her house key. She says to MiMi, "I see you got on your maid outfit like you always do." Holy hell! This woman has some balls. She called Mimi "Molly the Maid" ooooohhhhh myyy gawddddd I can't hardly take it. Then, MiMi INSTRUCTS Joseline to leave. No no no that's now how it works. You don't ASK someone to leave your own house. What you won't do is pop up to my house This is how I know MiMi is a lost cause: She kicked the so-called "side-chick" out, but he left with her "him." You lost, babygirl. 15 years & you still don't have a grip. 

**Break**

8:56PM & we're reminded that Joseline's snatch is yankin. MiMi is surprised (whoo chile!) that Stevie left with Joseline. The censor person needs to be fired, by the way. Why is MiMi gettin SO AGGRESSIVE right now? Too late to be thuggin right now. Stevie leaves the room by saying "Clean my room Molly Maid." Consider me DONE!  

What did you think of this week's episode? Did I miss any major moments? Did y'all peep the previews from the episodes coming up? Will you be watching this season? I'm listening. 

Twitter: @LegallyRatchet1

Facebook: Talented Generation

Email: TalentedGeneration@gmail.com

Little Known Ratchet History Fact #2: "The FIRST Hook UP"

Join me on this 87th anniversary of Negro History Week as I share some little known facts about ratchet history throughout this month. Why? Because ratchets deserve history books and you will DEAL! In today's installment, we learn about The "Hook Up."

Cheryl "Peaches" Delaney of Englewood, NJ, was working the night shift at a McDonald's in 1974. The 16 year-old high school junior had just been severely reprimanded by her manager, one Albert Mahoney, over her Afro hairdo being unprofessional.

Mahoney gave her an ultimatum of wearing a clown hat or being fired, and Delaney, working to save money for cosmetology school, relented and wore the clown hat.

Hours later, she noticed several of her classmates at the drive-through window, on their way to a party. Luscious Jones, Fred Williams, Eddie James, and Derrick Clemmons were riding in a green AMC Pacer(pictured below). The four of them ordered four hamburgers, and were going to split three orders of fries and two Cokes.
Peaches, who was filling the order, noticing that Mahoney (the  manager) had taken his nightly thirty-minute bathroom break, had an epiphany. She locked eyes with Lawanda, who was on fries, and Fat Sam, who was on the register and in a blur of motion, they stuffed  4 jumbo bags with 15 hamburgers, 5 cheeseburgers and 6 orders of large fries accepting only $1.01 from Luscious Jones as payment.

Cheryl "Peaches" Delaney had invented. . ."The Hook-Up."

We salute you Ms. Cheryl "Peaches" Delaney..  . A Leader in Ratchet-American History!

Shout out to Rodney for sharing this. 

Twitter: @LegallyRatchet1

Facebook: Talented Generation

Email: TalentedGeneration@gmail.com

Little Known Ratchet History Fact #1: The "Twerk" Revolution

Happy Black History Month!!!   

I know your favorite blogs, radio shows and tv networks are doing the obligatory nod to great moments in black history. You're gonna hear stories about Rosa Parks, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, Jim Crow and The Montgomery Bus Boycott among other things. This AIN'T what that is. The time is long overdue for us to salute ratchets for their contributions to American History. That time is now. 

Join me on this 87th anniversary of Negro History Week as I share some little known facts about ratchet history throughout this month. Why? Because ratchets deserve history books and you will DEAL. In today's installment, we learn about The "Twerk" Revolution. 

Twerk (v): A combination of dance moves that involve wining and gyrating one's hips and booty in a sexually provocative manner. Made popular by a group of Atlanta-based dancers called "The Twerk Team." 

According to their Facebook Fan Page (get into it!), the Twerk Team is an Atlanta based dance group that started in 2005. The two official members, Mizz Twerksum and Lady Luscious, got their start by dancing at house parties. The two got their big break after they posted a video of them dancing to Soulja Boy's "She Got a Donk" and it got over 1 million views on Youtube in the 1st week. 

Although the group currently has two official members, the ladies have added (and cut) other members like Betty Butt, Kandy Girl and Shawty Bear. Some time in 2009, they began building a following with their #TwerkTeamThursday booty shaking videos. At that time, Thursdays signaled the release of new videos by the three ladies "twerking" to different rap and hip-hop songs. When Waka Flocka Flames gave them props in his "Ass Clap" song with the line "Bounce that ass/shake that ass like the Twerk Team" he sent amateur twerkers into a frenzy and helped The Twerk Team take their career to the next level. 

Once the Twerk Team's career took off, the Twerking Revolution began.  The ladies began traveling nationwide to do shows and host/judge Twerking Contests. Thousands of women began uploading videos of themselves twerking in their underwear at home. A quick check of the site YouTwerk.com shows just how many "girls next door" are twerking. There have been twerking contests via Twitter, WorldStarHipHop and even Facebook (which is usually behind on the ratchet curve). If you don't have at least one person uploading videos of themselves twerking with captions like "just playing around" you're losing at using social media.

I'm from South Florida so I'm down with all kinds of dancing. The women (and men) in South Florida have been twerking since Morgan Freeman was a lil boy, but the Twerk Team has made it a "thing." iSalute them for that. Twerk Team's videos feature the women wearing form fitting clothes while twerking to popular songs in front of a large mirror inside of a home. Their videos average 1 million views. To the untrained eye, it appears the ladies merely throw on a pair of shorts in an empty house and dance the same damn dances to whatever song is getting the most radio play. And that's fine. 

You can follow them on twitter: @TwerkTeam 
So what do you think of the Twerk Revolution? Do you know any amateur twerkers? Do you or any of your friends twerk? I'm listening. 

Twitter: @LegallyRatchet1

Facebook: Talented Generation

Email: TalentedGeneration@gmail.com

Ratchet Song of the Day: USDA's "Throw This Money"

Happy Black History Month!!! *Snickers*
Today's song is brought to you by BYOB strip clubs and portable stripper poles. What better way to celebrate Black History Month and the Friday before the Superbowl than with a ratchet song? Young Jeezy and his crew are responsible for this one. The men of USDA & CTE gave us a strip club anthem and the music industry is better for it. Listen with me. Warning: This version is NOT suitable for work.

If you're one who likes strip clubs, I suggest you add this to your iTunes asaptually. With a straightforward chorus line, "Gone shake ya a$$ b*tch imma throw this money" the men of USDA are giving all strippers (and the women who secretly envy them) something to dance to. If it makes you feel better, tune out the lyrics and just dance to the beat. Now put this joint on repeat until you're in the mood to make it rain in the nearest strip club! 

Twitter: @LegallyRatchet1

Facebook: Talented Generation

Email: TalentedGeneration@gmail.com

Ratchet Song of the Day: C-Murder Feat. Magic "Down for my N's"

Today's song is brought to you by cheap vodka and oversized  jerzees. Because today is Friday and you've got plans to spend time with your friends this weekend. In what became the ultimate "clique" anthem of it's time, C-Murder gave the thugs somethin to rap along to in the club. The song pretty much says, "Eff your friends cuz I got my friends." Listen with me. 

For those who don't know, C Murder is currently serving a life sentence in prison. At least he left us with musical gems like today's song to remember him by, right? 

Have a great weekend folks! 

Twitter: @LegallyRatchet1

Facebook: Talented Generation

Email: TalentedGeneration@gmail.com

The 5 (Ugly) Truths About "Settling"

A few days ago while on one of my morning runs I ran into a woman who was visibly upset. She wasn't crying, but if she walked by a group of men they would probably tell her to smile. Anyway I have this thing where I attract strangers who tell me their problems even when I don't want to hear them. With the increase in the number of times I'm out in public due to work, it happens about once a week. 

Back to the story. 
We're standing at a crosswalk and we're doing that thing where you're standing next to someone and trying to pretend you're not watching them. 
You know the thing. 
I could sense that she was upset, but I was tryna focus on my run. She turns to me JUST as my iPod is between songs and says with a fierce tone "Don't EVER settle." I must have looked at her with the "wtf face" because my reaction gave her cause to tell me more. She continued, "Don't ever go for a guy because he's nice. Everyone can be nice. Don't tell yourself there are things you can get past like messed up teeth or the fact that he doesn't have a job, or a place to stay. Don't settle, ok?" 
It could be the fact that having a nice smile is on my list of things I desire in a man. It could be that the first word that comes to mind when describing the last 3 guys I went out with is "nice." It could be the fact that I've been dating pretty consistently and I'm not head over heels or whatever. Something she said struck a chord with me. 
Hello...my name is Raine and I am afraid of settling. 

My friends call me picky and say I have crazy standards that are impossible for one man to meet. 

I (obviously) don't agree. 

Let's get my list out of the way, shall we? 
1. Must love God & have a relationship with Him.
2. Be honest.
3. Be loyal. 
4. Be adventurous/spontaneous.
5. Be funny.
6. Be a hard worker.
7. Have (at least) a mid-level credit score.
8. MUST have nice teeth. 
9. Either no kid OR one kid max. If he has a kid he MUST be an active father & no baby mama drama. 

That was my primary list. None of those things are deal breakers set in stone. If I like a guy enough, I'm willing to work around some thangs. I also have a secondary list that I don't normally share. That list includes things that are not quite deal breakers, but are likely to lead me to be more serious about getting to know a man who has things on the list. Things like he must be taller than me, enjoys traveling, has a least a bachelor's degree, impresses my friends and is a non-(cigarette) smoker. Ya know, the things that make ME look good for cuffing a great guy like him.

Although the dictionary defines "settle" as, "To put into order/ arrange or fix definitely as desired," that definition is outdated. To "settle" has become a terrible awful thing to do.  Socially, it has come to mean, "To affix oneself to another as available." In other words, you commit to the boo you have cuz that's the best thing available at the moment. To me, settling is ranges from accepting that your boo doesn't have that "one thing (word to Amerie)" you always dreamed they would have to accepting that no one is perfect.

But...what does settling LOOK like? 

Is it marrying a man who makes six figures, but can't be the beast you know you NEED in the bedroom? 

Is it marrying the guy who makes you laugh, but can't afford to take you out for a nice dinner if he wanted to?

Is it marrying the opposite of your dream guy/girl? 

Is it when a dentist falls in love with someone with jacked up teeth because they can be fixed?

Is it when an accountant falls for someone with bad credit?

Is it when a lawyer falls for a convicted felon? 

Is it when a Pastor falls for a prostitute? 

These are serious questions so don't you dare laugh.

This brings me to today's topic: 5 UGLY Truths About "Settling."

Here we go. . .

5. People Settle "Just Because." When people settle, they don't do it for true love. They do it for some reason other than true love. They were lonely. They were tired of being single. They were ready to get married and have kids. They turned 30. Soooo...they settle. That's all good until you end up on the wrong side of that 50% divorce statistic.

4. Father Time is a B*tchAss. The pressure to "settle down" increases as you get older. As time passes, our list of standards gets smaller (and perhaps more realistic). While it's easy to refuse to date men with kids at age 25, a man with a baby mama doesn't seem so bad when you're 35, childless and have never been married. 

3. Men Don't Worry As Much As Women. I'd like to say that men worry about settling as much as women, but they don't. That's not to say they don't worry at all, just that the pressure is different. The only thing that men my age truly worry about is getting the wrong woman pregnant (and possibly having an ugly daughter). At least that's what I've been told. 

2. You MUST take your "settle" to your grave. No real man or woman wants to be settled for. You can never tell the person you're with that they weren't your 1st choice. You can never use it as ammo in an argument and you can't use it as an excuse not to be your best self for them. 

1. Settling Doesn't Include "Fireworks." Settling is denying yourself the feeling of being truly in love. Love is supposed to be special and give you butterflies. You're supposed to enjoy spending time with the person you love. When you settle, you don't allow yourself to feel that about your boo thang. Disney sold us a dream of "Happily Ever Afters" and endings with a Prince Charming riding in on a white horse to save us. Disney didn't teach us about settling. 

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s one of my married friends pointed out...people don't like it when you put standards on love. It's supposed to be organic and happen naturally. Or whatever. Still, the idea of settling for less than your dream guy/girl is the elephant in a room full of single chicks. 

So what do you think? Would you rather be single than settle? Have you ever settled? Will you ever settle? 

Twitter: @LegallyRatchet1

Facebook: Talented Generation

Email: TalentedGeneration@gmail.com