The Power of the P.U.S.S.Y: Are You WHIPPED?

*Looks around* We're all adults here right? 
GOOD!

Let the record reflect that I asked 15 men for input on today's topic and 93% of them answered "Never been whipped." 1 brave soul admitted to being whipped and outed the rest of em. LOL! I can understand why there is a disconnect between women who think they have whip appeal and fellas claiming, "I don't get pussy whipped. I whips poosay!" On the one hand you got females claiming their snatch is the best thang yankin since Pam Grier was Foxy Brown and on the other hand you got fellas claiming it was "just aight." Since the fellas are so reluctant to admit being pussy whipped and tamed I wrote this one for y'all. 

What is Good Pussy? 
Let's make sure we're clear. Good pussy is subjective. What is good pussy to one man is mediocre to another. What will whip one man won't make another man break his stride. Good pussy has a vibe. If you're in a room with a mixed crowd of men and women, the women with good pussy will be surrounded by men. Women with good pussy let it shine thru in every aspect of their lives.
She walks the good pussy walk.  
She speaks with the confidence of a woman who has good pussy. She poses, eats and laughs the secret laugh of women with good pussy. 

I'm not talking about any regular old missionary loving pussy. I'm not talkin about hunch for 5 minutes and doesn't care if you cum pussy. I'm talkin about the poontang pie that's so sweet and juicy he can't get enough. The kind he goes to work thinkin about coming home to. The kind that is odorless, moist and hugs your man meat with the perfect amount of pressure. The kind that makes it her mission to milk you dry and leave you paralyzed. She gets extra points for being a Scorpio. *wink*

Good pussy will make you call out of work so y'all can fuck your day away.
You surrender your biweekly paycheck to good pussy.

Good pussy commands loyal dick. 

Good pussy will be your muse. 

Good pussy wants to see your dreams come true. 

You keep your dignity after being whipped by good pussy. 

Good pussy makes you hate condoms. 

Good pussy has been slutty for the right man.

Good pussy will help you live longer. 

Forgive me if I'm a little off. I'm strictly dickly so I can't speak from experience. Moving on. In a world where men will sleep with any woman willing to lay it low and spread 'em wide, how do you know if your pussy has WHIP appeal? Now we can start the lesson.

Virgins should just take notes. No shade. 
Chicks get caught up thinking big numbers and repeat sexcapades translate to good snatch. Noooo silly girls. How can I put this delicately? Just because you've whored out to every Tom with a dick who will penetrate doesn't mean you have good pussy. 
We live in a world where women have bad pussy.
There, I said it.
Men enduring a drought will never tell you your pussy is bad. It still serves a purpose. Thats not how the game is played. He will look beyond your loose and dry poon because all he wants is a nut. You can moan all you want honey, it won't make him call you back. I'm not here to teach you kids about HOW a woman gets yankin snatch. Bad pussy exists. Don't debate me on this.  I have another mission to accomplish.

Being pussy whipped is nothing to be ashamed about. Read that out loud 10 times and tell every man you know. Single men secretly envy pussy whipped men. I made that up. Pussy whipped men try their damndest to hide being whipped. There are married men who won't admit they're whipped. Ain't that some shit?  

A guy who gives his coat to a girl when its chilly is a nice guy. A guy who surrenders his man cave so his woman can turn it into an extra closet is pussy whipped. 

I recognize some of the fellas are just total softees when it comes to women. They wanna save every hoe and be every chick's gentleman. You can't say no to a beautiful woman. You're helpless against a woman with a smedium ass in a thong. You're ready to do a full detail on her car just because you got a whiff of the coochie.  She let you finger her once and you swear your finger was forever changed. I'm not talkin to y'all. You're part of the reason why it's so difficult to diagnose a pussy whipped man. You ARE a pussy and you need to change that. 

How can you tell if a woman can pussywhip you? 
1. She Doesn't Brag About it. Just like the fellas, women with that good-good don't talk much about it. That doesn't mean she doesn't have stories tho. She's the "lady in the streets" who doesn't have to brag about whipping her man. She has the right attitude about sex. She understands her responsibility. She's not afraid to take control. She knows what she's doing and she knows how to work that thang folks. She throws it back and rides like the wind blows. She will fuck YOUR brains out and keep mum about having you pussy whipped. 

2. She Demands Dick When She Wants It. This is not to be confused with convenient pussy. Indeed, it is the opposite. She calls the shots. If she decides she wants you to be at her house after work, she expects you to be there waiting with nary a follow up question asked. Make it nasty.

3. He Does Shit Because SHE Says So. Good pussy will have you breaking your rules just to keep her happy. Once you're pussy whipped you will find yourself quitting the things you love just to spend time with her. You're eating HER favorite snacks and eating at HER favorite restaurants. Before you know it you're sitting on her couch drinking martinis and letting her paint your nails (with clear polish cuz you're a grown ass man) while watching a Sex and the City marathon wearing a clay mask. Pussywhipped!! She pushes your limits because she knows the power of her good pussy. She has you doing things so far out of your character that you KNOW your boys will clown you for letting a chick convince you to do it. It doesn't matter how big you smile, you're pussy whipped and it shows. Way to go breh! 

4. He Checks In. Getting pussy is easy nowadays. I'll be the first one thousandth woman to admit it. It's amazing how easy some women have made it for men to smash. Their standards are so low all you have to do is smile at her and she drops the draws dawg. Rarely do women make a man work for the coochie anymore. Checking in is part of the "work for it" family. It's the first cousin to building trust. Think about it: You're checking in with her to make sure its ok to hang with YOUR friends. If you do so through a text message, you're only mildly whipped. If you, in fact, check-in via a phone call while in the presence of your single friends you are whipped beyond the point of return. Might as well keep your balls on the nightstand. 

5. He Stays Home. The older we get, the more difficult it is to coordinate a night out with friends. Your friends may have relocated for school or a job so whenever the crew is assembled it is a big deal. If you have ever stayed home because you wanted to eat a good home-cooked, you're domestic-pussy whipped. The same goes for if you've ever stayed home because you don't want to leave her alone. You're fed good and fucked right so now you don't "feel like" going anywhere. Just put your balls on the nightstand.

Before you go saying "I have never been whipped because none of those things apply to me" stfu for a second. I realize what one man does when he's whipped doesn't apply to another. Just because you're not tying her shoes when she's able bodied enough to do it for herself doesn't mean you're not whipped. I used extreme examples to make a point. Your pussy whipping might be less subtle but that doesn't mean you haven't been whipped. Say word. All BS aside, you can tell when a woman has her man whipped by how he treats her. He will deny it but all you have to do is watch him. He will go out of his way to keep her. If he loses her he will make a vow to get her back by any means. Ladies, if you find yourself with a pussywhipped man on your hands, embrace it. Take advantage of it for as long as you can. If you're smart you'll whip him all the way into a happy marriage. Allow him to cater to you. Watch and appreciate him but stay on your shit. Pussy whipping ability won't him stay after he has realized all you're good for is giving good pussy and he wants more than that. While a dickmatized woman will make an excuse to stay, a pussywhipped man may still leave if he decides your good pussy is not enough. Such is life. 

So whats the verdict? Have you been pussywhipped? Have your friends been pussywhipped?