Last evening I had the privilege to be awake when an episode of “Oprah’s Life Class” came on. Prior to watching the episode, I signed up for email alerts about the different lessons but never followed up by watching the episode or even reading the tips. That all changed as of 10pm on October 26. What was the lesson? I’m glad you asked. Take a look for yourself.
The lesson centered around a piece of advice the great African American poet Maya Angelou shared with Oprah: When people show you who they are believe them. Oprah amended this advice by adding that you should believe them the FIRST time. Angelou also told Oprah to believe when people TELL you who they are because they know themselves better than you. Hence, if someone tells you they are crazy believe them. If someone shows you they are crazy, believe them.
The lesson resonated with me because I sometimes find myself making exceptions for people for various reasons. I'm sure I'm not alone. I have, in my lifetime, allowed people to mistreat me and disrespect me while giving them a pass because they did so while they were angry, or frustrated, or drunk. This was also a reflection of the value I placed upon myself because I didn't internalize the idea that I deserve better. I dismissed their rude behavior in favor of giving them a second chance without regard for the damage it caused my own spirit. Having negative people around me was toxic. It was stressful and it was draining. I learned the hard way about how powerful it can be to have people around who nurture and help your spirit grow. Its important for you (and me) to be brave enough to eliminate people from our lives who are not the best for us. These people will SHOW you who they are and you have to be conscious enough to believe them. Don't make excuses for people who are ruthless. Don't make exceptions for people who are reckless. Don't give passes to people who are disrespectful. Don’t make exceptions because you see potential in them to become better. Don’t make exception because they are attractive and possess some of the characteristics you look for in a friend/mate. Believe them the first time.
Recognize that if someone is not ADDING to your life, they are SUBTRACTING from it.
The lesson resonated with me because I sometimes find myself making exceptions for people for various reasons. I'm sure I'm not alone. I have, in my lifetime, allowed people to mistreat me and disrespect me while giving them a pass because they did so while they were angry, or frustrated, or drunk. This was also a reflection of the value I placed upon myself because I didn't internalize the idea that I deserve better. I dismissed their rude behavior in favor of giving them a second chance without regard for the damage it caused my own spirit. Having negative people around me was toxic. It was stressful and it was draining. I learned the hard way about how powerful it can be to have people around who nurture and help your spirit grow. Its important for you (and me) to be brave enough to eliminate people from our lives who are not the best for us. These people will SHOW you who they are and you have to be conscious enough to believe them. Don't make excuses for people who are ruthless. Don't make exceptions for people who are reckless. Don't give passes to people who are disrespectful. Don’t make exceptions because you see potential in them to become better. Don’t make exception because they are attractive and possess some of the characteristics you look for in a friend/mate. Believe them the first time.
Recognize that if someone is not ADDING to your life, they are SUBTRACTING from it.
Now if only I could reconcile this lesson with what to do when people claim to have “changed.”
Your thoughts??
Your thoughts??
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