Ratchet Song of the Day: D.R.S' "Gangsta Lean"

Let me just start by saying I think this is a dope ass song that is only lowkey ratchet. Today's song is brought to you by Jheri curl activator and the makers of 40 Ounce malt liquors. These gangstas got together to harmonize and sing in tribute to fallen gangstas. The song is dedicated to all the homies who died suddenly while living a gansta life. I'm talkin about the dice throwin, drug slangin, bandana carrying gangstas. Listen with me. 

For those who don't think it's ratchet, the line "I tip my FAWTY to your memoryyyy" is enough to make it ratchet, but we're not gonna be picky. Who else pours out a lil liquor to honor the fallen homies? We're not gonna talk about ol boy's coke bottle glasses either. I hear y'all judging him. Shame. 

This might not be the level of ratchet you all are used to & I'm ok with that. You gotta listen to the words and really watch the video. You got a group of gangstas singing a sad. Even ratchets and gangstas get sad sometimes. Young thugs shed tears too, man. 

Twitter: @LegallyRatchet1

Facebook: Talented Generation

Email: TalentedGeneration@gmail.com

Ratchet Song of the Day: Three 6 Mafia's "Lil Freak"

Today's song is brought to you by face tats and paisley printed bandanas. Aside from it being a Three 6 Mafia (usually a GIVEN for ratchetness) song, it's ratchet because it starts "I know a lil freak in Hollwood. Sucks on d*ck. Does it real good." Don't be mad cuz you can't relate. Listen with me. 

Some of you may not know this, but before I started following Webbie on twitta I was a huge fan of his music. Savage Life is still one of my favorite albums. This song made me reminisce about some thangs I won't share here. Bet you won't play this at your Thanksgiving dinner! lol! 

The 20 Do's & Don'ts of Thanksgiving

Knowing the REAL story of Thanksgiving won't stop my show. As long as we still "celebrate" Christopher Columbus Day we can still celebrate Thanksgiving. As a proud Fatty Mcfatfat, I can say without shame that Thanksgiving is my second favorite holiday. It is only second behind Christmas because at Christmas I get to eat delicious food AND get awesome gifts. Either way, I have my tights and loose fitting clothing ready for Thursday. Enough about me. 

Thanksgiving is Thursday and it's time for us to lay down some ground rules. Here are the 20 do's & don'ts of Thanksgiving . . .

20. Check your ego. If you don't own the biggest house, you don't get to host Thanksgiving. If you don't make the best (insert dish here), you don't get to make it. Get over it.

19. Don't Expect People to Work Around Your Picky Eating Habits. We WILL understand if you don't eat pork, but that's about it.

18. Ask what is going to be on the menu before you arrive. You don't want a surprise vegetarian meal when you were expecting turkey, chicken and beef. 

17. DON'T arrive to a potluck-style Thanksgiving dinner empty handed. Ask the host what you should bring. Even if they say nothing, bring SOMETHING. 

16. Respect table assignments. If you didn't wanna sit at the kids table, you shouldn't have told people you're #TeamEdward.  

15. Stick to your signature dish. Don't push it. 

14. Line-up a plan B just in case the primary host makes people wait for the food.  Don't feel guilty.

13. Make sure everyone knows who made the potato salad.  Since some people "don't eat everyone's food" just make sure to tell who made what. 

12. DON'T upload pics of your plate. No one wants to see your "food porn" anyway.

11. DON'T be afraid to turn "non-RSVPers" around AT.THE.DOOR. Tell 'em to take their non-RSVPing ass to Boston Market.

10. Don't make a big deal about breaking your diet. Everyone does it. No one cares. 

9. DON’T arrive late and then be surprised when all the food is gone.

8. For hosts: make arrangements for guests to make to-go plates. Tell a non-cook to buy some styrofoam plates. 

7. Don't make your to-go plate before everyone has eaten. That's just inconsiderate.

6. Help Clean up. Remember people who skip out on cleaning up don't get invited back for Christmas. 

5. Appreciate the Experience. Appreciate the people you spend the holiday with even if you spend it with complete strangers. 

4. Brainstorm about what you’re thankful for. Nobody likes the person who holds up Thanksgiving dinner because they can’t think of anything decent to share.

3. Don't be salty because no one touched your food. Work on your presentation. 

2. Fully equip your host site. People WILL hate you if you run out of toilet paper. 

1. Be thankful for everything you have. You have your eyesight, access to the internet and a sound mind to read this post.  

Now that you have the rules, you have no excuse for cuttin up on Thursday. Did I miss any rules? What rules do you and your family follow for Thanksgiving? I'm listening. 

Twitter: @LegallyRatchet1

Facebook: Talented Generation

Email: TalentedGeneration@gmail.com

PS. There will not be a post on Thursday. Regular posting will resume on Tuesday November 27. 

Ratchet Song of the Day: Ludacris' "Game Got Switched"

Today's song is brought to you by pawn shops and businesses that offer a cash advance. Let that marinate. Before Ludacris started to focus more on his acting career, he released Back For the First Time a no holds barred album that put the struggles of the hood on wax. With tracks like What's Yo Fantasy and Southern Hospitality, Luda came on the scene ready to claim his throne. In today's song, Ludacris explains how the "game" got messed up. Get into it. Warning: This version is NSFW(a clean version wouldn't make sense)! 

Yep yep, what Ludacris said! LOL! 

Face Facts: 20 things People 25+ Are OFFICIALLY Too Old For. . .

"Growing old is mandatory. Growing UP is an option." 
Nobody knows who said it, but I'm jealous of the motherfucker who made it famous. That coulda been me. 

Ever been in a situation where you thought, "I'm too old for this?" Well I had a whole conversation full of those moments a few days ago when I had a chance to catch up with one of my old homies from Florida. For the sake of protecting her identity, we're gonna call my homie Jane. Jane is 27 years old and likes to go to different cities just to party. 
Jane: Hey girl whatchu doin?
Me: Movin nekkid pics of guys to a separate folder on my phone.
Jane: *giggles* You still crazy. Girl you comin home for the Orlando Classic?
Me: You got me twisted with somebody else. I'm too old to be goin outta my way to make to the Classic. 
Jane: What you mean you're too old? Girl you're not even  30 yet. I know mad n*ggas over 30 still goin to the Classic.
Me: I've been goin to the classic since I was 16. That's almost 11 years of goin to the same shit & pretending like it's not the same shit. Them 30 year olds just plottin on college freshman anyway. 
Jane: Oh. So does that mean you aint comin?
Me: *blank stare* Nah. Imma sit this one out. 
Jane: Just because you're gettin older doesn't mean you can't go out and have a good time. Girl you better live yo life before you have kids and start regretting what you didn't do.
Me: Oh.  Don't let people sell you that "You're NEVER too old for (insert activity here)" dream because sometimes you ARE! Being over 25 means you're old enough to know better, but young enough to still wanna get reckless. While society says it's time to "grow up," the desire to do reckless things is still so real. 

I'm here to help you sort out some things you should no longer be doing. If you're over 25, you're officially to old to do the following 20 things. . . 

20. Getting Sloppy Drunk. Sure it's fun to get to the point where you don't remember the night before, but do you think your friends enjoyed having to carry you out to the car?

19. Being Unprepared for Overnight Visits. Nothin wrong with taking an overnight bag. It can be the difference between a walk of shame and a stroll of glory. 

18. Being Immature About Menstruation. If your girl needs you to buy her tampons, man up and do it. You're too old to act grossed out when a woman mentions menstruation. 

17. Baby-Talk. Baby talking may work in certain situations, but for the most part it's time to give it up. 
16. Crushing on Young Hearthrobs. You had JTT growing up, let the kids have the Jonas Brothers and Lil Romeo. 
15. Showing Your Underwear. Pull your pants up. No one is impressed by your Polo drawz. 

14. Obsessing About Cartoon Characters. Stop buying up all the the Mickey Mouse and Winnie the Pooh merchandise and let the kids have it. Exception: Hello Kitty. 

13. Holding High School Grudges. How have you managed to remember not to like people you haven't seen since 2004?

12. Taking Love Advice From Strangers. Carrie Bradshaw is not real. Stop trying to imitate her life.  

11. Buying into Disney's Fairytales. We all bought into the dream. It's time to accept reality. You're not a Princess. Prince Charming doesn't exist. Get over it & learn to date like an adult. 
10. Partying with 18 year olds. You're too damned old to be tryna vibe in a club for the 18 and older crowd. Go to a 21+ club and party with people your own age. 
9. Public Altercations. I just don't have the energy for 'em. Don't raise your voice in public. Don't clap in between your words. You look dumb. 

8. Wearing Body Sprays. Fellas, stop covering yourself in TAG. Ladies, stop soakin in LoveSpell. Get some real ass perfumes and colognes. 

7. Bragging About High School. So what cuz you won a spelling bee in 10th grade? No one cares that you were one of the "popular" kids. That was 12 years ago. 

6. Wearing Crazy Jeans. This includes all those jeans with more rips than actual denim, running dogs, fire breathing dragons, skulls and crossbones and everything in between. Classic jeans are your BFF. 

5. Sex in the Car. Sex in the car is for people 25 and under who live at home with strictly religious parents. Just get head while the engine is running or get a room. 

4. 3rd Party Hook-ups. Sending your friends to tell someone you like them is so immature. Grab your gonads and go after the person you want. 

3. Homecoming. If you don't have a degree from a college/university, goin outta your way to make it to their homecoming it just doin TOO much. This is especially true for people who went to HBCUs. 

2. Being Ashamed About Masturbating. It is a healthy sexual activity. Become a proud owner of a vibrator and have some fun!

1. Haters. You're officially too old to be bragging or complaining about "haters." Just accept that some people don't like yo ass. Keepin it all the way real, you aint doin much worth hatin on anyway. 

Bonus: To "Stan." I like Bey & Rihanna as much as the next person, but after 25 you can no longer go around proclaiming how much you STAN for anyone or anything. K? 

I'm not here to police your behaviors. I ain't got no worries. Bottom line: If you ever have to question whether you're too old for your lifestyle, chances are...you are. It's time to act your age. Did I hurt your feelings? It was necessary. 

Twitter: @LegallyRatchet1

Facebook: Talented Generation

Email: TalentedGeneration@gmail.com

Reader Submitted Ratchet ish: Logan Mac's Chicken Song

I love music. 
I love ratchet music. 
Most of all I LOVE when my readers share ratchet music with me. Y'all know I love all the ratchets & I don't judge nonnadem. Today's song is no different. Let this woman take you to a special spiritual place in recognition of the awesome-ness that is CHICKEN. Get into Logan Mac's Chicken Song. 

Did you go to your special place? Did she take you to another land? Please note how Logan labeled this one the original version so that she leaves the option open to make a remix. That is five minutes and 42 seconds (assuming u watched the whole thing) you will never get back. Might as well appreciate it. I can tell y'all are judging her for singing that way about chicken. Don't act brand new. Y'all know some folks claim alllll black people feel this way about chicken. 

And this is yet another reason to appreciate the innovation of ratchets. Y'all didn't think it could be done. This woman caught the HOLY GHOST while singing about the different types of chicken. 

Special thanks to reader PRFitz for droppin this gem!

Twitter: @LegallyRatchet1

Facebook: Talented Generation

Email: TalentedGeneration@gmail.com

Ratchet Song of the Day: Uncle Luke's "It's Your Birthday"

Today's song is brought to you by the people with fond memories of Freaknik in the early 90s and the kids conceived during that golden time of ratchetry. In what is quite possibly the best birthday song EVER, Uncle Luke and his 2 Live Crew created a celebratory tune of call & response that asks "What's that number 1 birthday month?" Of course everyone is gonna say it's *their* birthday month. Genius! The song proceeds to ask "What's that number 1 zodiac sign?" Again, of course, everyone is gonna say it's *their* zodiac sign. Everyone knows Scorpios rule the world. Listen with me.

::Hits the percolator:: This one's for all the November babies! Happy Birthday! 
BTW, you a hoe if Luke says your name in this song. Just sayin...

Twitter: @LegallyRatchet1

Facebook: Talented Generation

Email: TalentedGeneration@gmail.com

Ratchet Song of the Day: Trinidad James' "All Gold Everything"

Ratchets love gold. What better way to share the love than to take a few cans of spray paint and cover random items like a grocery store shopping cart and a bicycle? Get yo life! There IS no better way!!! Because of that, today's song is brought to you by jheri curl products and gold spray paint. If you don't know bout Trinidad James, it's time for you to change that. Listen with me. 

Popped a molly I'm sweatin...WOOO! This dude looks like Jerome (from Martin) watched a few 2Chainz videos and attended the Gucci Mane school of Rap. Nonetheless, after a few listens it's a song I could listen to. Don't be over there judging me.  

Special s/o to reader Chris for sharing this with me!! 

Twitter: @LegallyRatchet1

Facebook: Talented Generation

Email: TalentedGeneration@gmail.com

7 Habits of People Who "Made it" Outta the Hood

Some of you may not know this about me, but I grew up in the 'hood. Not only did I grow up in the hood, I was a hoodchick. You read that right. I used to be an Air Jordan wearing, long acrylic nail having, bamboo earring rockin, shit talking, namebrand wearing hoodchick. I had hair to my ass and I still wore weave. Judge me all you want. Guess how many fucks I give? That's rhetorical, by the way. 

I'm not talkin about those people who move from a hood in Miami to the hood in Jacksonville where everyone else who moved from Miami lives. I'm not talkin about the people who move from Palm Beach to Atlanta and keep the same mentality and negative behavior patterns they had while they lived in Palm Beach. I'm talkin about a special group of people who have transformed their mindset after growin up with a "hood mentality" and managed to exceed expectations. This one's for you. 

Looking back, I know the difference between me and the other people from my hood was that I decided in elementary school that I was gonna leave. I had made up my mind that spending my life in Belle Glade, FL was not in my best interests. My dreams were bigger than "the Muck" could hold anyway. I won't sugarcoat it and say my hood wasn't horrible because it was. Some people like to say "well my hood wasn't that bad." Sheeeiiiitttt mine was. Thanks to ESPN everyone thinks all we do is hunt rabbits and play football, but there's more to it. My hood was a "football" town with a nasty poverty trap. I saw people get hooked on drugs. I watched my classmates become corner boys. I watched my friends become drama chasing babymamas. I saw my family members go to jail and struggle with drugs and alcohol. I've lost loved ones to gun violence. I have relatives stuck in a cycle of poverty. I go back to visit and sometimes I can't even believe I "made it out." How did it end up an exception?

For those of you who have made it and for those of you looking to take the first step towards leaving, here are the 7 Habits of the People who "Made it" Outta the Hood. . .
7. They're Open-Minded. A closed mind will keep you in the hood. That's not to say stayin in the hood is a bad thing. There IS more to the world than being known around your hood doe. Open your mind and you open yourself up to the opportunity to be great OUTSIDE of your hood. Start with trying the foods you wouldn't normally find in your hood and segue into a whole new world. 

6. They Travel. Get on a plane. Get a passport. Get some stamps in your passport. I'm not talkin about just going to Cancun & to the Bahamas. Act like there are other places you can go. Seeing how other people live in different parts of the USA & beyond gives you motivation to rethink your dream of being hoodrich. Then (and only then) will you realize that aint nothin rich about being hoodrich. 

5. They Take Their Education Seriously. You may see the media telling stories about athletes who went from the hood to hollywood, but that's not the whole story. Don't let the media fool you. For every athlete from my high school struggling to adjust his/her college plans after an injury, there was an "academic" with a full-ride to college. Don't sleep.

4. They're Risk-Takers. In order to leave the hood you have to be prepared to take risks. You have to be willing to apply for the jobs people say you won't get. You have to be willing to move to a place where you won't know anyone. You have to be willing to leave your comfort zone. Take the first step and build a stairwell as you go along. 

3. They Read. Reading IS fundamental. I read that in a book. So much information is in books, magazine articles and websites. You can read mediatakeout, but you should also subscribe to the WallStreetJournal. Strive to learn something new and useful everyday by reading something educational everyday. There's an app for that. 

2. They Appreciate "Both Worlds." People who made it out never really lose their 'hood edge. They appreciate 30 inch rims and custom candy paint while contributing to their 401(k). They have accounts with Mint.com and good credit, but they also like ratchet music. They don't look down on people from the hood, because they were once there. You should be jealous. 

1. Decide to Leave. I polled (secretly) 10 of my friends who "made it out" and every single one of them listed *this* as their first answer. So many people talk about wanting more than the hood life, but they never decide to go after it. People who made it out began with the decision to "get out" and wouldn't take no for an answer. They left for college and jobs. They left behind the people they thought were friends, girlfriends and boyfriends, their family and their comfort zone. The first step is making the decision to leave. 

People raised in the 'hood have a resilience unmatched by anyone else. Fear them. I can say that with sincerity because I am one of them and so are many of my friends. We can look back astonished at how some of our friends and family members (who we thought had more promising futures than us) are bouncing from one hood to another. We remember how they got better grades than us and tested better than us, but now they're entrenched in a 'hood life with thigh tats while we're living our dreams. Don't get it twisted. We love our friends and family, but once you make it out it's hard not to look back and think "Damn it wasn't hard. Why didn't they take the chance I took?" 

Today's post was brought to you by the following. . .

So whadya think? Did you make it outta the hood? How? What is the biggest difference between people who make it out of the hood & people who get stuck? 

Twitter: @LegallyRatchet1

Facebook: Talented Generation

Email: TalentedGeneration@gmail.com