Ratchet Song of the Day: C-Murder Feat. Magic "Down for my N's"

Today's song is brought to you by cheap vodka and oversized  jerzees. Because today is Friday and you've got plans to spend time with your friends this weekend. In what became the ultimate "clique" anthem of it's time, C-Murder gave the thugs somethin to rap along to in the club. The song pretty much says, "Eff your friends cuz I got my friends." Listen with me. 

For those who don't know, C Murder is currently serving a life sentence in prison. At least he left us with musical gems like today's song to remember him by, right? 

Have a great weekend folks! 

Twitter: @LegallyRatchet1

Facebook: Talented Generation

Email: TalentedGeneration@gmail.com

The 5 (Ugly) Truths About "Settling"

A few days ago while on one of my morning runs I ran into a woman who was visibly upset. She wasn't crying, but if she walked by a group of men they would probably tell her to smile. Anyway I have this thing where I attract strangers who tell me their problems even when I don't want to hear them. With the increase in the number of times I'm out in public due to work, it happens about once a week. 

Back to the story. 
We're standing at a crosswalk and we're doing that thing where you're standing next to someone and trying to pretend you're not watching them. 
You know the thing. 
I could sense that she was upset, but I was tryna focus on my run. She turns to me JUST as my iPod is between songs and says with a fierce tone "Don't EVER settle." I must have looked at her with the "wtf face" because my reaction gave her cause to tell me more. She continued, "Don't ever go for a guy because he's nice. Everyone can be nice. Don't tell yourself there are things you can get past like messed up teeth or the fact that he doesn't have a job, or a place to stay. Don't settle, ok?" 
It could be the fact that having a nice smile is on my list of things I desire in a man. It could be that the first word that comes to mind when describing the last 3 guys I went out with is "nice." It could be the fact that I've been dating pretty consistently and I'm not head over heels or whatever. Something she said struck a chord with me. 
Hello...my name is Raine and I am afraid of settling. 

My friends call me picky and say I have crazy standards that are impossible for one man to meet. 

I (obviously) don't agree. 

Let's get my list out of the way, shall we? 
1. Must love God & have a relationship with Him.
2. Be honest.
3. Be loyal. 
4. Be adventurous/spontaneous.
5. Be funny.
6. Be a hard worker.
7. Have (at least) a mid-level credit score.
8. MUST have nice teeth. 
9. Either no kid OR one kid max. If he has a kid he MUST be an active father & no baby mama drama. 

That was my primary list. None of those things are deal breakers set in stone. If I like a guy enough, I'm willing to work around some thangs. I also have a secondary list that I don't normally share. That list includes things that are not quite deal breakers, but are likely to lead me to be more serious about getting to know a man who has things on the list. Things like he must be taller than me, enjoys traveling, has a least a bachelor's degree, impresses my friends and is a non-(cigarette) smoker. Ya know, the things that make ME look good for cuffing a great guy like him.

Although the dictionary defines "settle" as, "To put into order/ arrange or fix definitely as desired," that definition is outdated. To "settle" has become a terrible awful thing to do.  Socially, it has come to mean, "To affix oneself to another as available." In other words, you commit to the boo you have cuz that's the best thing available at the moment. To me, settling is ranges from accepting that your boo doesn't have that "one thing (word to Amerie)" you always dreamed they would have to accepting that no one is perfect.

But...what does settling LOOK like? 

Is it marrying a man who makes six figures, but can't be the beast you know you NEED in the bedroom? 

Is it marrying the guy who makes you laugh, but can't afford to take you out for a nice dinner if he wanted to?

Is it marrying the opposite of your dream guy/girl? 

Is it when a dentist falls in love with someone with jacked up teeth because they can be fixed?

Is it when an accountant falls for someone with bad credit?

Is it when a lawyer falls for a convicted felon? 

Is it when a Pastor falls for a prostitute? 

These are serious questions so don't you dare laugh.

This brings me to today's topic: 5 UGLY Truths About "Settling."

Here we go. . .

5. People Settle "Just Because." When people settle, they don't do it for true love. They do it for some reason other than true love. They were lonely. They were tired of being single. They were ready to get married and have kids. They turned 30. Soooo...they settle. That's all good until you end up on the wrong side of that 50% divorce statistic.

4. Father Time is a B*tchAss. The pressure to "settle down" increases as you get older. As time passes, our list of standards gets smaller (and perhaps more realistic). While it's easy to refuse to date men with kids at age 25, a man with a baby mama doesn't seem so bad when you're 35, childless and have never been married. 

3. Men Don't Worry As Much As Women. I'd like to say that men worry about settling as much as women, but they don't. That's not to say they don't worry at all, just that the pressure is different. The only thing that men my age truly worry about is getting the wrong woman pregnant (and possibly having an ugly daughter). At least that's what I've been told. 

2. You MUST take your "settle" to your grave. No real man or woman wants to be settled for. You can never tell the person you're with that they weren't your 1st choice. You can never use it as ammo in an argument and you can't use it as an excuse not to be your best self for them. 

1. Settling Doesn't Include "Fireworks." Settling is denying yourself the feeling of being truly in love. Love is supposed to be special and give you butterflies. You're supposed to enjoy spending time with the person you love. When you settle, you don't allow yourself to feel that about your boo thang. Disney sold us a dream of "Happily Ever Afters" and endings with a Prince Charming riding in on a white horse to save us. Disney didn't teach us about settling. 

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s one of my married friends pointed out...people don't like it when you put standards on love. It's supposed to be organic and happen naturally. Or whatever. Still, the idea of settling for less than your dream guy/girl is the elephant in a room full of single chicks. 

So what do you think? Would you rather be single than settle? Have you ever settled? Will you ever settle? 

Twitter: @LegallyRatchet1

Facebook: Talented Generation

Email: TalentedGeneration@gmail.com

Ratchet Song of the Day: Ludacris' Move B***h

How is this for your Tuesday? Today's song is brought to you by afro picks with the fist on the handle and the jheri curl activator in the gold bottle. Today's song may not be ratchet to some of you. That's more of a reflection on you than it is on. Just because it was a bit mainstream doesn't make it any less ratchet. Listen with me.

Tellin someone to "Move Bitch. Get outta the way" is def ratchet. On everything(what?! I've been in DC too long!) I say this in my head about a dozen times/day. People don't move outta my way quickly enough. After I've said "Excuse me" & folks don't react quickly enough, my next thought is ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS to say "Move Bitch. Get outta my way." I've never said that, but I'm gonna do it one of these days lol!

This is on my iPod's "Metro to Work" playlist. If you take public transpo to work, I suggest you add it as well. Hope it got your blood pumpin! 

Twitter: @LegallyRatchet1

Facebook: Talented Generation

Email: TalentedGeneration@gmail.com

Reader Submitted Topic: The Three "Are's" of Unleashing Your Inner (Sexual) Beast

First off, this is my first post under my new "pen name" Raine Lali Gabrielle. Woo! 

One of the greatest things about the increase in my blog's traffic (thanks, btw!) is that people have started sending me random ideas for blog posts. I appreciate all of the ideas. This  post came about because of one of you. Send me questions and ideas to TalentedGeneration@Gmail.com. If it tickles my fancy, I might write about it. Won't that make you feel special? You know it will. 
The convo with The Reader went like this: 
Reader: I've got an idea for your blog. U ready?
Raine: Lemme hear it. 
Reader: So I was at a dinner party last night. 
Raine: And? 

Reader: I learned that women who have a freaky side to them are concerned about looking like hoes if they let the freak out too soon. Do women really worry about that?

Raine: Interesting. I suppose a decent woman doesn't want a guy to think she's a hoe. Even if she becomes one in the bedroom. Very interesting. 

Reader: But why would she worry about that? 

Raine: Because men don't marry hoes. They have wild sex with them and then marry the quiet women who are terrible lays.

Reader: Is that Shade?

Raine: It's an awning! lol I'm kidding. I have friends who are married & I love them. Just using extremes to make a point.

Reader: So my question is when is it an appropriate time to let a guy see your freaky side without having to worry about him think youz a hoe? *Ludacris voice*

Raine: Steve Harvey said it's 90 days. Oh wait. That's 90 days to actually have sex. 

Reader: RIGHT. How long after you have already started having sex are you supposed to wait to activate your "Super Freak?" 

Raine: Super freak=sexual beast. Ooooh so you mean like a timeline for UNLEASHING your sexual beast? I can work with that. Thanks! 

Today's question: 

Screw the 90 day rule. When you're ready to get it on how soon can you go full on BEAST without scaring them away?

In short, WHEN Should You Unleash Your Inner Beast? I decided to answer that question in two ways: 1) I'll give you a chart and 2) Examples using said chart.

Ready?

Here we go.

Ta-dah! (Hint: Click on image to enlarge). Don't be judging my graphic design skills. I didn't go to school to be a graphic designer. Before we go any further, please know this AIN'T no 90 day rule. This flowchart is especially designed for those people who have ALREADY DECIDED to become intimate and are concerned about when they can enter into "beast mode." Take these recommendations with a grain of salt. 

What is An "Inner Beast?"

I don't want you all assuming what I mean by "Inner Beast" so let's start off with an explanation. A “beast” is a sexual being of the highest regard. Do not be confused and think a beast is JUST a freak. Freaks get lazy. Indeed a beast can be a freak, but a freak is not always a beast. Beasts know exactly what they want and they go after it. They are spontaneous, adventurous and they possess vast knowledge about sexual pleasure. They have the ability to pleasure their partner without restrictions. They are, in short, a consistently great lay (and usually a scorpio or gemini lol jk, but not really). 
Got it? 
Good.
There are three major questions to consider while answering today's question:
3. Are You A Woman? 

This question matters because double standards exist. STOP PRETENDING Double Standards Don't Exist! They are a BITCH to deal with, but they exist. As for men, their answer depends on whether he was friendzoned. Example: If he was previously friendzoned, he has to represent and go into beast mode straight outta the gate. He's gotta show her that it was a mistake to put him in the friendzone. If he's whack he may not get another chance. I take that back. He MIGHT get another chance. It's up to him if he wants to take that risk. Men should understand this. 
2. Are You Looking For A Relationship??
Your timeline for unleashing your inner beast is different depending on whether you're looking for a relationship, a one-night stand or a casual sex arrangement. I hope the difference between the three is obvious. 
Example: IF you are a woman who is not looking for a relationship, the first thing you should consider is whether a man has ever called you crazy. Don't tilt your head to the side and ask why, just go with it. IF you have been called crazy, the next thing is to determine what kind of arrangement the two of you will have. If it will be a one night stand, then your crazy ass should release just enough beast to pleasure your mate stopping just short of swallowing and prostate milking. If it's not gonna be a one night stand, you should "let the beast build." That is, to unleash enough of the beast to let your partner know it's there, but to keep enough tricks so you can still surprise them down the road.  You get it.
1. Are There Any Crazy Ex's in Your Present/Past? 
This question is important because every person who is a beast in bed has a crazy ex. Not just crazy, but batshit crazy. This is fact. If you don't have a crazy ex, your chances of being a beast are severely diminished. Example: If you are a woman who has never driven a man to blame his "crazy" antics on her, AND you're not sure whether you're a beast, AND a man has never called you crazy AND you haven't had great sex within the past 6 months YOU ARE NOT A BEAST. Whoa! My head is spinning!

There is but one true drawback to unleashing your inner beast: Once you release your inner beast, you have to keep it up.  Your partner will be spoiled. You can’t be a beast one time and expect to coast on that for the rest of the time you’re involved.

I am, by no means, asking or encouraging anyone to go strictly by this flowchart. I’m not here to dictate what you do. Do what works for you.

I hereby declare this a judgment free zone. I invite you to be honest with yourselves and then with me in the comments section. Speak ya mind good people. 

Twitter: @LegallyRatchet1

Facebook: Talented Generation

Email: TalentedGeneration@gmail.com

Ratchet Song of the Day: Nelly's "Tipdrill"

Today's song is brought to you by thong bikinis and that black hair glue ratchets use to apply their false eyelashes. Hello somebody! This song is so many things (ratchet, infamous, catchy, etc) for so many reasons. Mattafack, I take that back. The song is not any of those things THE VIDEO IS ALL OF THOSE THINGS. Nelly took a subpar song and made it legendary by attaching a video that will go down in the raunchy music video history books. You can watch this joint on mute and still get the full effect. Warning: NSFW.

Can we all agree that this song is long overdue? This one is for every curvy girl with an ugly face. What? That's mean? Well that's what the song is about. The lyrics are "It must be that ass cuz it ain't yo face." Nelly can say it, but I can't?

That moment when Nelly swipes that card down the crack of that woman's ass tho? All I remember is how my younger brothers would stay up past their bedtime to catch this joint on BET's "Uncut." TV has never been the same.

Twitter: @LegallyRatchet1

Facebook: Talented Generation

Email: TalentedGeneration@gmail.com

Ratchet Song of the Day: Yung Humma ft. Flynt Flossy's "Lemme Smang It"

Happy New Year folks! While you're busy keeping your new year's resolution I'm busy staying true to myself by listening to ratchet music. Today's song is brought to you by income tax stunters and iPods that fell off the back of a UPS truck. I've been meaning to post this song for quite some time now. If you've been reading Talented Generation you've probably noticed my frequent use of the phrase "smang it." You can thank Yung Humma and Flynt Flossy for that. "Smang it" is MORE than just a phrase. It's like math, but in the form of a song. Smash it + Bang it=smang it. Listen with me.
I was introduced to the raw talent of Flynt Flossy and Yung Humma long before their videos started getting 10 million views on Youtube. They changed my life many years ago. What blows my mind is that they are still without a deal while Trinidad James is rollin in dough. Meanwhile, this duo is performing across the nation to nearly sold out crowds. Ratchets be knowing. 

Twitter: @LegallyRatchet1

Facebook: Talented Generation

Email: TalentedGeneration@gmail.com