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Showing posts with label Nice Try. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nice Try. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

"Sorry Boo, You just AINT my Type"

Its the stuff broken dreams are made of.
You may have said it and been called an asshole.
You may have heard it and tried to understand what it means.

Picture it:
Girl meets guy.
Girl dates guy.
Girl befriends guy on Facebook.
Girl stalks guy's pics on Facebook.
Girl gets guy to agree to be her boyfriend and posts her "in a relationship with ____"update.
Girl smangs with guy.
Girl realizes she is the complete opposite of guy's ex-girlfriends.
Girl stalks guy's photo "likes" and comments on FB.
Girl gets insecure.
Girl asks guy 7 times/day whether she's really his TYPE.
Guy ignores girl until she starts withholding sexual favors.
Guy admits, "I'm sorry boo, you really AINT my type."
Girl is hurt by guy's admission.
Girl wins FB race to "go from 'in a relationship' to 'single'"
See? Broken dreams, B.

Cocky MFs everywhere, this one is for you. This one's for the people who think everyone should want them. I've got news for you...You AIN'T everyone's "type."

Everyone has an ideal type. Mine is Stringer Bell. Yes, you care. I know I'm not going to marry and procreate with Stringer Bell, but when it comes to men who make my lady parts quiver, the "Stringer Bell" type is at the top of my list. I like a man who is nice and charismatic, but also has a bit of an edge. Y'all can judge my preference, but I know a guild of men who proudly wear the badge "ass man" OR "titty man." I'm a "Stringer Bell" kinda girl. People have preferences. People have a right to like what they like. Its ok to be confident and love yourself, but I stopped by here today to let you know that you're not gonna fit everyone's image of what they want in a mate. Aside from that, some men wouldn't scratch your walls with someone else's...nevermind. 

"Sorry Boo, you just aint my type" could be a nice way of saying, "You're butt ugly and I'm not interested" or it could refer to a host of other things. They could be referring to something physical or a personality trait that turns them off. They could be referring to where you are in your life versus where they are. Keepin it real they could mean they just wanna smang and don't see a future beyond doing that. 
People don't always want what they say they want, but some things they won't budge on. She's 6 feet tall and you tip the height scale at a solid 5 feet 1 inch. If she likes tall guys don't waste your time barking up the wrong tree. Pun. She might like men with locs and you're going bald. He could be a breast man and you're an A cup. He could be an ass man and you've got NOASSATALL. He could be a home body and you're a party animal. He could be a dark skinned black man who doesn't find dark skinned women attractive. Opposites attract, you say? I'm chillin.

Here's how it works: He can't have Keri Hilson so he goes after women who look like her. Thats right, the man you like goes after a bunch of fake ass Keri Hilson's. If you're more Macy Gray than Keri Hilson, you ain't his type. If she's a phat model chick lookin for a dude with fat pockets but you're fresh outta grad school with Sallie Mae on your jock, it proly won't work. Grab a chair & have a seat in the friend zone. 

Women struggle with hearing "You're not my type" more than men. Thats because we think if we have sex with a man it means we're his type. Women shol is crazy. We think we're so amazing that every man will want to make an honest women out of us. Its a cold day when a woman first realizes she's not every man's type. By "every man" I mean every man she has a chance in hell of dating in the first place. Its easy to say 2Chainz isn't your type when you know good and well he aint checkin for you. Truuuuuu. 

Imma start a riot. Imma start a riot. 

Cool story: A man once asked me to describe my physical "type." I sat there in the comfort of my own shallow spirit and described someone who looked the complete opposite of him. Then cracked a smile. I'm an asshole, but not quite a horrible person. 

If the person you like has a type that's completely opposite of what you are, just give up. If they aren't willing to compromise on petty attributes as opposed to looking at your character, let 'em go. Don't go on a mission to show them why they're wrong. Don't lie to yourself. I'll never be a busty white blonde with blue eyes. I don't ever want to feel like I have to become that in order for a man to love me. I'm lookin at you, Lil Kim. Don't be stuck on stupid because 1 person out of several million people in your area told you you're not his/her type. 

People show you who they are it is up to you to pay attention. Don't get caught off guard with a "sorry boo, you just aint my type" speech. Take a look at some of the clues they send you about their type. Bear in mind, people claim they want one thing but tend to go after another.  Look at the people they lust after on their wallpapers. Pay attention to the people they compliment. If you don't look like them chances are. . .

This is the point where I wrap up the post. You AIN'T cute to everybody. Everybody AIN'T attracted to you. Everybody DON'T like you. No lie. No lie. No lie ei ei ei.

Talk to me...

Twitter: @LegallyRatchet1
Email: TalentedGeneration@gmail.com

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

YEEN 'Bout That Life: 10 Signs You Aint as "Hood" as You Think You Are

"You aint bout that life." 
Fresh out of f*cks to give.
Some of ya'll say all the syllables. I'm southern so its more like "Yeen bout dat life." Ya'll get it. You may have heard people saying it and wondered what it meant. It is both a challenge and an insult. It is both a push and a pull. It is both disrespectful and motivational. I've seen some people define it as "The persona you portray is contrary to the actual individual that you are." Nobody really knows what it means, but its provocative. Gets the people goin!
I grew up in the hood. I don't mean "hood" as in short for neighborhood. I mean I grew up in a real hood with gangs, drug dealers, prostitutes and men with several unclaimed children. Remember when Superbowl MVP Santonio Holmes said he once sold drugs? We grew up in the same hood. I never sold drugs tho and he didn't either. Even growing up in the hood, my parents didn't play. Thats why I was never about any life other than getting my education.


I like to think I USED to be about that life. That was before I realized the hood way of doing things is not the way to do things. Nam Sayin? Ya'll can judge but I know I'm not the only educated person with a little hood edge. I have street sense AND book smarts. Where the honeys at?


Young Professionals: We're young enough to still make mistakes, but we have enough life experience to be held to a higher standard. There comes a time for all young professionals who like to think we were raised in the hood to let go of the hood mentality. You have to outgrow your hood tendencies because you can no longer afford to be about that life. What life? Well that depends on the situation. 


10 signs you ain't bout that life...
10. Your response to a potential physical fight is "Hold up, don't let the (insert accomplishment or comment about outer appearance) fool you." You also think twice before allowing an argument to continue escalating. You ain't bout that lose your mind to prove your street cred life.  


9. You have a lot to lose. You have friends who also have a lot to lose. Ya'll aint bout that co-conspirator life. 


8. On a wild night out, no one in your crew is taking pictures of the crazy sh*t ya'll do. Ya'll aint bout that photographic trail of proof life. 


7. You don't get chocolate wasted in public. You aint bout that maximum poppage party life. 


6.  You remove yourself from a situation once it becomes questionably legal. You aint bout that run from the feds life. 


5. You let it slide when people bump you ONCE in a club. You aint bout that fighting in the club life until you realize they're bumping you on purpose. 


4. Your iPhone goes missing and after you realize you won't get it back, you simply report it stolen. You aint bout that Apple iThug life. 


3. You dance without your ass touching the floor. You aint bout that buss it open for complete strangers life. 


2. You show up to your full time job on time everyday. You aint bout that fast money life. 


1. You don't post incriminating things (i.e. posts about guns, drugs and sleeping at work) on social networks.  You aint crazy. You aint bout that setting a case up for the feds life.  


Yeen 'bout that life. I ain't 'bout that life. We're too old to be 'bout that life. Some of ya'll haven't even SEEN that life. Stop, before you hurt yourself. 

Since I know ya'll so well I'm gonna tell you what life you ARE 'bout: 
That CC your boss on a passive aggressive email life.


That delete your browsing history at work life. 


That pay your bills on time life.


That complain about your Sallie Mae payment life. 


That live within your means life.


That increase your credit score life. 


That budget money for vacations life. 


That I need an exit strategy because I hate my job life.


That I won't get a tattoo I can't cover up because I want a decent job life.


Thats the life you're about. You haven't been in a physical fight in over 8 years. You are not a thug. Just live with it.

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