Cuffin' season. Its the time of the year when everyone wants to be in a relationship. They stop playing games and some let go of their intermittent FWB and get serious about finding "the one."
Being single is fun.
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| This guy is DEFINITELY single! |
Being young, fly, fabulous and single is even more fun.
Why?
Because I imagine being old, lame and single is NO fun. I imagine its so devoid of fun that those afflicted are so miserable that they spend their time being filmed throwing drinks in public and spending all of their money on material things hoping to fill the void of emptiness left in their heart. Oh wait, thats just the women on Basketball Wives. *ZING!*
Because I imagine being old, lame and single is NO fun. I imagine its so devoid of fun that those afflicted are so miserable that they spend their time being filmed throwing drinks in public and spending all of their money on material things hoping to fill the void of emptiness left in their heart. Oh wait, thats just the women on Basketball Wives. *ZING!*
All jokes and cynicism aside, there is a certain allure that comes with not having to "check in." Its fun in the summertime when you can flirt for no reason. BUT NOW...summertime is over and the temperature is starting to drop. The beautiful sunny days will be few and far between. *sigh* What does this mean for singles? It means its CUFFIN SEASON. How do I know its cuffin season? I've gone to 2 weddings in the past 2 weeks. At the wedding last week there were 4 other weddings happening on the same day in the same area! 2 days later I saw 2 other brides. Tis the season to be cuffed.
If you pay close attention, you will start to notice more singles will couple up and become bout that life. Cuffin season gives people a reason to be enticed by having a consistent things: consistent partners, consistent dinner dates and consistent sex are among them.
People who weren't good enough for a relationship in the summer are now good enough to settle down with. Why the hell people wait for cuffin season to "cuff" is beyond me. Why the hell people feel a pressure to settle just for the sake of saying they have *someone* also boggles my mind. One would think people would enter relationships because it makes them happy, not because of the time of year.
I digress.
As the start of cuffin season became apparent, I began to ponder whether we can be happy watching everyone around us getting cuffed??
If you pay close attention, you will start to notice more singles will couple up and become bout that life. Cuffin season gives people a reason to be enticed by having a consistent things: consistent partners, consistent dinner dates and consistent sex are among them.
People who weren't good enough for a relationship in the summer are now good enough to settle down with. Why the hell people wait for cuffin season to "cuff" is beyond me. Why the hell people feel a pressure to settle just for the sake of saying they have *someone* also boggles my mind. One would think people would enter relationships because it makes them happy, not because of the time of year.
I digress.
As the start of cuffin season became apparent, I began to ponder whether we can be happy watching everyone around us getting cuffed??
I feel the pressure to find the one and sometimes it gets overwhelming. The pressure comes from all angles. I hear people talking about the lack of eligible bachelors and I hear my granny gripe about my singlewomanness all the time. Folks tell me I'll make beautiful kids one day and I need to get started. I can see the judgment in their faces when I tell them I choose to be single. Part of the reason is because I want to focus on my career, but even that is scary. A woman was giving advice to younger women on tv once said, "You don't want to wake up one morning and realize your career is all you have."
No matter how much us single folks try to convince others we are happy single, the truth is I believe we are being imprecise. I hear you telling me to speak for myself. When I say I am "happy," it means I have learned to live alone without being lonely. I have learned to love myself without looking for validation from others. I have learned to be my own source of motivation. I have learned to toot my own damn horn. Most importantly, it means I have learned to be appreciative of what I have and who I am without feeling empty because I don't have a spouse.
I cannot say I spend every waking moment thinking about my singlewomanness, but everyone is searching for that special person. I would be lying if I said I didn't want to find that special person. While I don't walk around with "single and ready to mingle" stamped on my shirt, I also try not to appear coldhearted and unapproachable. Its a balance I'm still working on. Don't ask me about how thats working out JUST KNOW the big wheels keep on turning.
No matter how much us single folks try to convince others we are happy single, the truth is I believe we are being imprecise. I hear you telling me to speak for myself. When I say I am "happy," it means I have learned to live alone without being lonely. I have learned to love myself without looking for validation from others. I have learned to be my own source of motivation. I have learned to toot my own damn horn. Most importantly, it means I have learned to be appreciative of what I have and who I am without feeling empty because I don't have a spouse.
I cannot say I spend every waking moment thinking about my singlewomanness, but everyone is searching for that special person. I would be lying if I said I didn't want to find that special person. While I don't walk around with "single and ready to mingle" stamped on my shirt, I also try not to appear coldhearted and unapproachable. Its a balance I'm still working on. Don't ask me about how thats working out JUST KNOW the big wheels keep on turning.
Indeed, finding "the one" begins with a journey of self discovery. Before you can help someone get to know you, you have to get to know yourself. It wasn't until I decided to stay single that I realized how much I did not know about myself. I was walking around doing things with no particular purpose and going unchecked because my friends were doing the same things. In the time I have been single I have learned more about myself than I ever learned when I was in a relationship, serious or social. It is difficult and sometimes frustrating to internalize the lessons along the way but the rewards are great. Cuffin season is not a big deal for me because I choose to focus on myself and learning what makes me happy instead of focusing on getting cuffed.
I want to encourage all of my single folks to take your life and your journey looking for love one day at a time. Always keep things in perspective by looking at the big picture but don't allow your observance of other people's blessings make you feel like you're behind the curve. If your time hasn't come yet, take it as an opportunity to grow as a person and as a spouse.
What do you think? Is cuffin season real? Can you be single and happy when everyone appears to be cuffed and happIER?
I want to encourage all of my single folks to take your life and your journey looking for love one day at a time. Always keep things in perspective by looking at the big picture but don't allow your observance of other people's blessings make you feel like you're behind the curve. If your time hasn't come yet, take it as an opportunity to grow as a person and as a spouse.
What do you think? Is cuffin season real? Can you be single and happy when everyone appears to be cuffed and happIER?
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