PAUSE! Swizz Beatz's Side Chick Wants to Clear Her Name

You are outta line! sucka!

Before I release the goods, understand that I was raised during a time when heauxxs knew they were heauxxs. People had affairs but they were not public. The other women knew their place and they played their role. They knew they were heauxxs but they didn't want to be "outed." Heauxxs never stirred up trouble. They never called your house. They never showed up to your job. They never called your wife or girlfriend. They never went thru your things looking for remnants of your life outside of the infidelity. They were ok with being a side chick. No matter how many rumors circulated about them, they never released statements where they claimed to want to clear their name. They never revealed the details of their affairs and people lived happily ignorant. They didn't want people to know about their indiscretions because they understood that nobody wants to turn a heauxx into a housewife. Granted, this meant the women had a little more respect for themselves than they have nowadays. 


Now before all of you women's rights people get up in arms about me calling women heauxxs, understand something real quick: for the purpose of this post, I use that term to refer to women who knowingly sleep with married men. If you're still up in arms, think about how you would refer to a woman you found out was sleeping with your husband KNOWING he was married to you. Think about what you would call her if you knew she had sexual relations with your husband in your bed, knowing it was your bed. Now if you still feel the same way about me calling her a heauxx, congratulations you are a better person than I am. Go buy yourself a cookie!™  

Caveat: I'm not one to sugarcoat the truth so forgive my comments if you came here looking for someone to be nice. I am fully aware of how bad it looks for one black women to speak ill of another black woman. I am fully prepared to accept all karmic disasters resulting from my actions. I don't associate with heauxxs so I don't know this woman personally. I don't care to get to know her. God aint got me there yet. My statements are for my entertainment and perhaps for yours. I have no sympathy or empathy for women like this. I know women can be our own worst enemy and I try hard not to perpetuate that but some things can't be ignored. 

...and here we go:

Ijuswannaclearmyname in 1500 words or less

"I’m only making this statement because I’m being put out there as a liar and I am very embarrassed. I would like to confirm that the rumor about Swizz Beatz cheating on Mashonda with me is absolutely true. I would also like to confirm that the rumors about Swizz “sexting” me, even in his present marriage, are absolutely true. I am also confirming that I lost my cell phone and someone else posted all the stuff that you see on the internet."

PAUSE. "I'm only making this statement because..." She started off lying! This heauxx is tryna get famous! She's not embarrassed! She openly admits she was involved in an affair! Since when is that ok? Furthermore, WTF is she looking for in admitting this? Did she miss the memo that jump-off tell alls were soooo 2005?! Did she also miss the memo that nobody is checking for Swizz anymore? She LOST her cell phone and someone else posted everything? Who the hell is she? Who is checking for her and her "lost' cell phone? Who the hell knows who she is? What kind of person doesn't have a lock on their phone? I smell a rat! I know she dropped that ish herself. She is obviously delusional but I'm gonna keep reading. 

"I’ve known Kasseem since 2007. We met at Solange Knowles’ (whom I do not associate with) birthday party in Houston, TX. A gentleman from Kasseem’s entourage approached me and said that someone wanted to talk to me. After I asked who it was, he pointed at Kasseem. I knew he was “Swizz Beatz”, but I did not know anything else about him. I gave him my phone number and he called me right away and invited me to eat at Katz’ Deli on Montrose Blvd. The next morning, he invited me to accompany him at Radio One (979 The Box) for his interview. Afterwards, we went back to his hotel room but we DID NOT HAVE SEX." 

PAUSE. Woop-de-doo she knows his government name. You know how I know she knows she's a heauxx? She made sure to tell us she didn't have sex with him the first time she met him or the second time she met him. Why did she take the time to do that? Because she wants us to believe that she is not a typical heauxx. That time period is like the heauxx's version of Steve Harvey's "90 day rule." She wants us to believe she has values and morals. She wants us to see her as the victim. Her words imply she was impressed by his invitation to do a radio interview. Even though the viewers could not see her, she felt important. She felt special. She was confused. Po lil tink tink. 

"A couple of hours later, he had to leave so he could catch his flight. He hugged and kissed me in public as if he were a single man. Fast forward to a few weeks later, he invited me out to Miami with him and I gladly accepted. I met him in Dallas and we flew to Miami together. My last minute ticket placed me in coach and his ticket placed him in first class, but he switched his first class seat with the guy sitting next to me so he could sit next to me. In Miami, we stayed at his friends beautiful home. This is where we became sexually active and this is where I found out he was married. He snuck me through the house and it was all odd to me until I found a gift with Mashonda & Kasseem’s name on it. I asked him later on why he was cheating on her and he basically said she wasn’t being the wife he needed. He also said that if she asked if he was cheating, he would not lie to her, but he wouldn’t come right out and tell her."

PAUSE! He hugged and kissed you as if he were a single man? What does THAT look like?! Married men have lips and hugs too! They don't surrender them when they say "I do." He told her he was married, and she decided to stay so why pretend like it was anything else than what it was?  She could have cut her losses and let it go. It had only been a few weeks and the 2 didn't have any strong ties. She's probably never been told by her friends that she is a jumpoff. Her friends are probably jumpoffs too. She didn't care that he was married because she was smanging Swizz Beatz. Swizz flucking Beatz! She thought she hit the jackpot! Then again, if he didn't care about his relationship why should she? 

"After that trip, he invited me to meet him in Philly. I was picked up from the airport and taken to a club where he was performing at. Him and his crew jumped in the truck and we drove to VA from there. In VA, we got on a tour bus and drove to multiple destinations. After that, I flew back to Miami, he got sick and I got stranded in the Miami airport overnight. I flew back home to Houston the next day."

PAUSE! iCant! Moving on...

"Later that week, he went on an overseas trip with Mashonda. I received a call from him saying “My wife is about to call you. Tell her nothing happened.” When Mashonda called me, this is exactly what I did. He did not contact me after that. They got a divorce and although we stayed in contact afterwards, there was nothing too drastic. I’m guessing this is when he was dating Alicia. 

PAUSE. So she knew he and Mashonda (his wife at the time) were still carrying about as married couples do?! This heauxx chose to stay because she wanted to stay. She was NOT deceived. Swizz did NOT lie to her. She spoke nothing of promises from Swizz to leave his wife. What made her stay? What made her leak this sh*t? I bet Swizz knows. 

"Recently, we’ve been contacting each other (as you’ve all seen), but I haven’t physically seen him. We were making plans to, but I had to work and I wasn’t going to take off work to go see him."

PAUSE! My head is spinning. I need to get this straight: So you watched him go through a divorce, date AND MARRY another woman but that doesn't stop you from continuing to communicate with him on a romantic level? Is it just me?!

"I live on my own, I have responsibilities and I strongly believe that if you are not contributing to those responsibilities, there is no reason for me to neglect them to entertain you. I am a very independent individual and the people who know me will tell you that I would never hold my hand out and ask for anything and if I do, I have a very hard time doing it."

*Slow claps*         *Violin plays*

"Even though Swizz offered and offered and offered to buy me things, the only thing I accepted was plane tickets to go see him. He’s a wonderful man and I had a great time with him as well as a great relationship. Of course he’ll deny the whole thing and of course Alicia will stand up for her man. It’s understood."

PAUSE! So the only thing you got from him was a smang and a plane ticket? U dropped everything you were doing to be at his beckon call and you don't have anything to show for it? I LAUGH at you. Dude is a multi-millionaire and all he splurged on you was a couple grand on last minute flights? I'm not saying she should have pimped herself out for a Louie purse and some red bottoms but damn all of that. If you're going to sleep with another woman's man and act bold enough to f*ck in another woman's home, cut the innocent act and live that sh*t up. You better accept all the purses, shoes, cars and other gifts he offers. We all know you're a heauxx so cut the bullsh*t good girl act. If you're a heauxx, be a good heauxx. Don't be a dumb heauxx. Most of all, be a heauxx who keeps it real with yourself. Don't go around tryna justify why you slept with a married man using any other reason that your heauxx character. Her "independence" didn't have anything to do with anything. She didn't accept gifts because she felt guilty. She knew one day it would end and she knew she could make herself feel better if she didn't have any material things left over from the affair. 

This whole "statement" is just too much of too much. Since when do jumpoffs feel the need to clear their name? Further, what she did here was NOT clear her name. She dug herself into an even deeper hole. I guess I shouldn't be so rough on her. Heauxxs are people too. 

*sigh*