Reader Submitted: White Ratchets Exist

Gone somewhere with your concerns for racism.
Fresh off the ObamaCare win, you people just won't let me be great.

Yesterday while I was minding my own business celebrating a successful flexirod style, one of you people dropped this beautiful bean footage on me. I have not decided whether to thank you or sponsor your busfare to hell. I'll let you know later.

You people thought only blackards could be ratchet. Well what do we have here? He's a white rapper. His name is Krispy Kreme. He has dreams of making it big.

These two geniuses thought it was ok to film an entire music video holding guns while snot streamed down to their upper lip. Besides that, his word play is just crazy. I can barely follow along with the metaphors. Don't just take my word for it, listen for yourself.

Lemme be the first to admit I was first disappointed that this Krispy Kreme rap isn't about fried dough sprinkled with cocaine Krispy Kreme's doughnuts. Where is the ode to the Krispy Kreme hotlight? Where is the anthem for people who have almost caused a car accident because of said hotlight? My advice to the kid: if you're going to call yourself Krispy Kreme you gotta dream big and become the doughnut retailer's favorite rapper. Otherwise, I formally request for you to shut the fcuk up.