They just LOOK like they "go together" |
In the past few days of logging on Facebook, I've noticed a few people have flooded my newsfeed with the "(Insert name here) went from 'in a relationship' to 'single.'" No surprise there since summer romances are losing their luster and the allure of a winter boo thang increases with every passing day. After a friend suggested that I discuss how men-folk are being pressured into relationships, it occurred to me that some people are wrong about their situations. Some people think they're in a relationship and they're not. Some people think they're single and they're not. Some people think their partner is happy to be in a relationship with them and well...you get it.
Full Disclosure: Its quite possible that after being off the market for over a year, I don't know what the phuck is goings on in the dating world. That never stopped anyone from having an opinion before and I'm not gonna let it stop me. Take my words with a grain of salt.
I heard through the grapevine that instead of actually having "the talk," people are using context clues like "oh we did XYZ so that means we go together." Also, I heard people are judging their relationships based upon the cuffing experiences of others. Thats some silly ass shit. Sorry for cursing. Don't be silly kids. Being silly aint cute. Being silly gets you some fake laughs, but it won't get you much farther than that. Lets explore this topic a little more, shall we?
5. You had sex. Singles are hustling ass backwards by having sex and then rolling over like "So what are we?" Ummm, we're done here. Thats what we are. That convo should be had before the titty sucking begins. If y'all have felt and tasted each other's genitals that doesn't mean anything more than y'all know what each other tastes and feels like. I'm serious. Thats all it means. Raw sex used to mean something else, but I won't go there cuz this aint the time or place.
4. Meeting parents/friends. I don't know about y'all but meeting MY parents and friends doesn't mean we go together. If anything, they wanna be able to give the cops a description in case you're crazy and something happens to me. Just keeping it real. Don't go off assuming because you were invited to a potluck/cookout that you're the spouse. You coulda been the fourth person he/she asked. You might have been the only person available. How does that make you feel?
3. Traveling together. Roadtrips are fun, but they're by NO means an indicator of the existence of a relationship. Sometimes people need to get from point A to point B and they don't wanna travel alone. Don't think cuz you drove from Miami to Jacksonville together that you're automatically an item. In case you forgot, hoes travel to random cities all the time. You gone start your relationship based off of the same privileges hoes get?
2. You've been seeing each other "a while." Just because you've been seeing someone for a certain amount of time doesn't mean y'all go together. Hold off on the pet names and matching tattoos. Who says you're supposed to make a commitment after 3 dates or 3 months? Some people date for fifteen years! Oh, you think you're special?
1. She's pregnant. Oh, I went in? Just curious, is Lil Wayne's situation with his multiple baby mamas the exception or the rule nowadays? Don't answer that. I'd like to think I'm for the preservation of families, but thats not always true. You don't have to be in a relationship to get pregnant just like you don't have to get into a relationship because you're pregnant. Should I have premised that by saying thats my opinion? A baby won't make a relationship work. A baby won't keep a man that doesn't wanna be kept. No shade, but ask a single mother if I'm right. If you're not happy with a person don't stay just because of the kids. Kids can tell when you're not happy. If the two of you choose to keep your family together, kudos to you. Don't force the relationship doe.
As far as I'm concerned, two people are not in a relationship until they have a REAL conversation about being in a relationship. Y'all can stay in limbo if you wanna, but don't be in such a rush to rush life. Get to know yourself. Fall in love with yourself. Embrace your own journey. Using context clues and milestone markers set by other people doesn't make any sense. What are you afraid of anyway? Carpe diem! Seize YOUR day. One more thing: If you're scared that having "the talk" or getting a title will run someone away, look at that possibility as something positive. Who the phuck are they that you're so afraid of losing them? Have "the talk" and if they leave your ass then good riddance to them. Trust me, your heart will go on. You can make room and allow someone to be in your life who wants to be there. Don't lose yourself chasing someone who doesn't want to be with you. Take love slowly. Just don't end up forever alone, K?
Good meat is the key to life.
Email: TalentedGeneration@gmail.com
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