Its NOT you, It's ME: 5 Misguided Reasons People Stay in Relationships

Picture it: You and your spouse are tag-teaming the dishes after one hell of a Sunday dinner. Suddenly, you glance at your mate and get a strange feeling in your gut. It wasn't the laxative the restaurant waiter slipped in your soup last night for calling him a douche. Its not butterflies. Its not love. Its not hate. After contemplating the feeling for a few moments, you realize the feeling you got in your stomach is the realization that you are no longer interested in being in the relationship. Your heart races and you have a mini panic attack. Over the course of several weeks, or months or even years for you cowardice mahfockas, you carry on the relationship as if that moment never happened. In fact, when your spouse asks "Why are you looking at me like that?" You deflect the question and give out unexpected lovin' as a mechanism of distraction. You continue to date and make whoopie as if you never had the moment. Until you can't.

Unless you're cold hearted or a Cruella De-Vil type of homo sapien, breaking up a seemingly great relationship is hard to do. No one cheated. No one lied. The relationship was healthy. It just isn't working out. Maybe you have spent too much time together and you need time apart. Maybe they finally stopped pretending and started being who they really are. Regardless of the reason you want to break up, its not fun to do when you're the only one who wants to put the break to the up.

But ya'll look so cute together. . .right? Cute doesn't cut it.

Quiet as its kept, you actually WISH your significant other WOULD cheat or lie or leave the top off of the toothpaste because it would make it easier to walk away. You know you should have broken it off a while ago but you just can't bring yourself to make a clean break. We stay in relationships too long not because of our spouse, but because of our own cowardice. Point is, the fact that its still cuffing season is not enough of a reason for people to stay together.  Step into the honesty circle with me. Couples all over the world are staying in unhealthy and unfulfilling relationships because they have convinced themselves it is not that bad. They have contrived misguided reasons for staying and have settled into the land of complacency. They stay past the expiration date for 1, or 5, of 5 reasons:

5. The Horizontal Polka. Ladies repeat after me, "A good man is hard to find and a hard man is good to fine." I feel you judging me. Don't act like you have never heard that before. Good lovin is hard to come by. Consistently good lovin' is even harder to come by <---PUN! Although some will make the argument that attractive men and women don't have problems finding a willing partner, I call Bullsh!t. There is a level of trust that comes with sexual intercourse and you can't trust everyone. From a female perspective, when we stay for sex we also stay because we want to keep our numbers low. Its tough to move on and then have to worry about how soon you should bump uglies with a new beau. Either way, giving up your wet-spot maker is no easy task.

4. Convenience. Face it, it is easier to continue dealing with someone you know than it is to go out and meet someone new. Besides the issue of where to meet normal people, there are risks involved with allowing new folks into the circle of trust. For one, all women are crazy. As a woman, I can say that but don't let me catch you repeating it. We all have our own little quirks and that is fine. Don't shoot the messenger. It is easier to deal with certain types of crazy than it is to go out and find a new, and possibly more dangerous, type of crazy. Combine this with concerns for financial security and the decision becomes even tougher to make.

3. Fear of unknown consequences. The fear of unknown consequences is a REAL concern.You can rehearse your words and try to predict your spouse's reaction but when it all falls down, sh!t could get real bad real fast.  This is mainly because some people change in the course of a break up and that introduces unknown variables. It could get ugly. You could realize you don't know your spouse as well as you thought you did. They rarely used profanity but during your attempt to break things off they may start calling you b!tches and muddasuckas. She could fill up your inbox with 15 voicemails or he could overload your phone inbox with 15 page texts asking for a second chance. Will he retaliate? Will she vandalize your car? Will he ever stop following you to work? Will they blast all of your secrets for all to hear and see? Can there be an amicable split? Will the two of you remain friends, or at least be cordial post-breakup? Will your friends have to pick sides? The situation gets a lot more complicated when kids are involved. These are difficult issues breakups force us to confront.

2. You don't know how to break it off. People are afraid of rejection. People are just as afraid of rejecting others. Women give out fake numbers to avoid telling a guy she simply is not interested. Now that you have decided it is time to break it off, the most difficult part is to actually go thru with it. You have to go over in your head what to say. You don't want to be too blunt, but you also want to make your intentions clear. As time goes on, you wonder whether a text message or a voicemail would be easier. You psych yourself out saying you will do it when the right time comes. NEWSFLASH: The right time never comes. Just when you thought the timing was perfect, your cat ate her goldfish. You don't want to be an insensitive douche. Unfortunately, this means you end up being too considerate of their feelings without being considerate enough of yours.

1. Avoiding Reactions From Family and Friends. Ya know those times when you log on to Facebook and see someone's relationship status go from "in a relationship with" to "single?" Awkward aint it? Its also a necessary part of ending a relationship in this day and age. Now imagine how awkward it is for the people who decide to comment on the status change with things like "but ya'll were so cute together." Now all 2567 of your Facebook friends know you're single and probably broken hearted. "Concerned" people send private messages of comfort and encouragement while vultures start to hover above waiting for their opportunity to make a move.

Thinking of how your family will react can also be a major factor. Your mother loves your spouse and so does the rest of your family. Your mother has never liked anyone you have dated. You know your mother will rip you apart for letting go of a "good thing." Rather than face her raft, you stay.

There is also the awkward-ness of showing up to different events solo post-breakup and having to cancel your mate's RSVP to things you would normally do as a couple. YES, this means you will have to cancel your +1 to everything. You could run an interference and find a new mate by the time the event comes around but that will just create another awkward moment.  

What do you all think? What are some of the reasons people drag on their relationships?