. . .But you AINT GOT No Haters Tho!

I can't be the only one who sees a crusty chick sporting drawn on eyebrows that make her look surprised on the innanets talkin about haters. I can't be. I can't be the only one who sees a fraggle rock lookin dude talkin about how he's so tired of haters. Have several seats. Also, I can't be the only one who looks at posts about "haters" and wonders "But who is hating on you?" Don't try to tell me I'm alone here. Lebron James has haters. The 92 Dream Team had haters. President Obama has haters. Gee-zus had haters. You? You just got people who don't like you. Maybe I need some new interweb friends.

"Hi Haters." 
"Haters are my motivators."

"Haters gone hate."

*Posts pic of new car* "This one is for my haters."

"Behind every successful person lies a pack of haters."

"Dear Lord, please forgive my haters." 

"I have my own life to live. I don't have time to worry about haters." 

"Phuck a hater. I'm winning!" 

"Thanks to haters, I'm famous." 

"You haters really need to find something better to do with your life." 

If you're still spending your time posting about haters, youz a basic bitch. Yep I just said that. I meant that. You mad at that? Then I'm talkin to you. Everytime you get something new, you're showing it off for all to see. Maybe its not that people are hating, maybe its just people are annoyed because we can tell you're not used to nice things. People out here with REAL haters are keepin it on the hush while you and your deflated dreams continue to tell us how haters are tryna keep you down. No you fustercluck. Gravity keeps you down. Phuck you for calling me corny. That was funny.  

I'm convinced people are making up haters. Convinced! Made up haters make it seem like you're doing something others think is worthy of "hating." Why are people still even addressing their haters? Why do people still think we care that they think they have haters? Lemme holla at ya for a second. Turn your ear towards my mouth and listen very carefully. NO ONE BELIEVES YOU.

Fill me in here cuz I'm struggling. What about you says "Hate on me?" Lets see. . .

Your Luxury Car. But you financed that thang out 72 months tho.   

Your Social Network Followers. But you got 12,000 followers and not one real friend tho. 

Your Designer Bag. But you got that thang on sale at an outlet. On top of that, you gave mad sloppy top to get a dude to buy it for you.  

Your Cute Spouse. But you gotta give 'em all your money just so they will stick around. 

Your Expensive Shoes. But they're from last season's collection and you had to save up for 'em. 

Your Job/Salary. But you don't even have dental benefits or paid vacation days. You ain't a baller if you make $35k/year. Just thought I'd clear that up. 

Your Physique. But your body is a 10 and your face is a 6. Your 6 pack is one full time job away from being a gut. That phatty of yours is gonna look like cottage cheese in 5 years anyway. Those tig-ol-bitties look like back problems to me. 

Your Life. Oh, people are jealous of your lifestyle? Why? Cuz you go to the clubs in VIP with a few ballers who follow you on twitter? Yea we're ALL jealous of how you drop everything just to be seen on the scene with them.  

If you THOUGHT you had haters before today, lets hold hands as we say goodbye to that lie. Welcome to reality. Your perceptions of yourself are off. You have a Victorian image of yourself and its time to accept who you really are. Hahaha someone said that to me last year and I have been WAITING to use that! 

The NEXT time you see someone YOU know doesn't have haters complaining about "haters" just say "But you AINT GOT no haters tho." Don't forget to put a smiley face behind it. Honeys love smileys. 

Twitter: @LegallyRatchet1

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Email: TalentedGeneration@gmail.com