Why do you want THAT skin color?

Please watch the video before you read on.

In case you haven't heard by now, Anderson Cooper sat down with school-aged children to talk about race. He asked the children to pick a skin color they want & followed with "why do you want that skin color?" I have viewed the video at least a dozen times and although I struggled to find the words to describe my feelings the first few times, I have settled on one: disturbing. My first reaction was heartbreak because I saw myself in the black children. I immediately wondered if I would have pointed to the white face before I recognized the value of my brown tones of my people. I like to think I grew up color blind as remember  treating white dolls with the same love as my black dolls. Some of my oldest memories are polluted with situations where I was constantly asked "are you mixed?" Some were nice, some ulterior motives were subtle but most were not. You would not believe the reactions I've gotten when I proudly answered the question.

"See I can kinda recall

Little ways back small tryin' to bawl

Always been black and my hair I tried it all

I even went flat, had a gumdee curly top and all the crap, now

Tryin' to be appreciated

Nappy headed brothers never had no ladies

Then I hit by the barber shop real quick

Had em give me little twist and it drove them crazy

And then I couldn't get no job

No corporate wouldn't hire no dreadlocks

Then I thought about my dogs on the block

Kinda understand why they chose a stealin' rock

Was it the hair that got me this far? (uh-huh)

All these girls these cribs these cars (uh-huh)

Hate to say it but it seem so flawed

Cause success didn't come 'till i cut it all off (uh-huh)"

-Akon (I am not my hair)

Black is bad.
White is good.
Africa is bad and savage.
Europe is pure and civilized.

There is no gray. People do not process gray. People do not understand gray. People lose their minds when they can't decide what you are. They are more comfortable with you once they are able to put you in a box.
Think about the other boxes where we are asked to check one: Girl/boy. Man/woman. Gay/straight. Short/tall. Pretty/ugly. Smart/dumb.
You MUST be black or white.
You MUST pick a side.
You MUST be placed in your proper box.
How dare you check both or niether.
How dare you tell me you're not mixed but you have curly "good" hair.
How dare you tell me your white ancestors raped mine and THAT is the only reason I have "good" hair.
How dare you start an initiative to make me feel "less than" by reiteratating how I'm not light bright and d*mn near white.
The next time you struggle to put someone in a box, take a step back and reflect on why you deemed it necessary for them to be placed in one.

"My president is black in fact he`s half white
so even in a racist mind
he`s half right
if u have a racist mind
u be aiight
my President is black
but his house is all WHITE
Rosa Parks sat so Martin Luther couLd walk
Martin Luther walked so Barack Obama could run
Barack Obama ran so all the children could fly"

-Jay Z

More after the jump.


Dark skin
Light skin
Brown skin
Caramel toned skin

No matter how you choose to label us, understand that black people come in different shades and despite what other races tell you, we do not all look alike. Our unique beauty is evidenced by Tyras, Halles, Gabrielles, Paulas, Kellys, Beyonces, Rihannas and Oprahs. The sad part is that this is not the beauty we see on a daily basis. We are divided on whether Halle is more successful because she is light-skinned or if it is because her talent. I've heard someone ask "Is she really beautiful or is she beautiful because she's light skinned?" That is normally a question that ignites a seemingly eternal flame in the black community: the lightskin vs dark skin debate. Not so subtle hints that lighter is better are presented to us. It has seeped into hip hop culture. Video vixens with fair complexions get more work than brown skin models. Skin lighteners and plastic surgery are a solution for some (o-O). I know people who were considered brown skin in high school who have now taken a 180 and look like white on rice.

In the age of Obama, many have made the argument that racism has ceased.  We no longer need diversity initiatives right? Arizona's students no longer need ethnic studies courses right? Slavery never happened right Bob McDonnell? We do, they are and it did. There are groups aimed at eliminating affirmative action and similar programs, which aim to level the playing field for the dichotomy of races: whites and non-whites. After all we are now equal. Obama is President. Little black boys and little white girls are sitting together and drinking the tea of equality. HBCUs are no longer relevant right? I wonder who these groups talk to?  No one have EVER approached me to ask me what it felt like to be the ONLY black student in my upper level courses at my PWI. No one asked how it makes me feel everytime I hear someone talk about Africa like its a country and not a continent! I've never been asked what it felt like to be considered the "token" black person at work and be forced to carry the weight of your race. No one asked how it feels to go the extra mile to downplay stereotypes like "black women are loud" or "black people are always late" or "black people are violent." No one ever asked me how much it twerks my brain to hear a white person tell me I'm articulate as if he/she expected me to be otherwise. No one ever asked me what it was like to work twice as hard and learn twice as much just to get to the same place as my white co-workers. No one ever asked what it felt like to go to happy hour with my co-workers and immediately know that it was not ok for me to behave like them. I see a pattern of asking the wrong people the wrong questions.

To those people who think racism no longer exists, I ask them to take a ride through the south where I grew up and take note of the diminished quality of service African Americans still receive. This is not the result of a "blind study" this is the result of what I have lived through. Gas station attendants wont touch your hand. Women grip their purses when they spot you and a group of your friends. Men assume because you're black you're oversexed and you wont mind if they say inappropriate things to you. There are cities we are advised to avoid while traveling alone for fear that "something might happen to you." As early as 6 years ago there was a suspected lynching in my hometown. Until you have lived through what I have lived through, until you have looked twice at a bleaching cream and considered using it, until you have looked in the mirror and wished you were 3 shades lighter, until you have watched a cycle of self-hatred repeat itself dont you dare tell me anything about racism. Dont you dare ask me if I would rather be white. Dont you dare put dolls in my face and ask me to choose which one is prettier. Dont you dare think about asking my 7 year old niece if she would prefer to be lighter or whiter. Stop asking young children their opinions about race. Let them remain innocent. Allow them to appreciate the beauty in their uniqueness. Think about all the moments you wished you were 7 again. How would you feel if people were in your face asking you which doll you think is the best and why?


**Warning: Blanket generalizations ahead**

I'll say what people are afraid to say. Racism is just as much alive today as it was 50 years ago.  It may not be as obvious as a hanging "whites only" shingle, but photos like this one serve as a reminder that most fields are still occupied and managed by white people. It is institutional. It is highly likely that majority black high schools wont have the same resources as majority white schools. It is highly likely that majority black schools dont always have the best teachers because they cannot afford to pay as much as a majority white institution. I'm not going to get into a discussion about how black people are lazy and we dont take advantage of opportunities because there are people like that in every race.  I have heard more white people say the N-word under their breath in the past year than I have heard in my whole life. I've seen things so blatantly racist that I just ignore it. I've been passed over in restaurants (while wearing bright colors and a big curly mame) by a hostess who claimed she didnt see me or my 5 foot 7 bff. It never stops stinging and I'm running out of places to eat and shop. Reasearchers continue to conduct doll tests in different forms and we watch as minority children continue to point to the white doll as their preference.

I want to know what you think about Anderson's study or the current state of race in America. What is it like to be a minority? What does it mean to be white in America?  Why is it that decades later African American children still are not confident enough in their own people to choose the black doll? Why is it that everyone knows there are benefits to being white but no one will admit them? Please understand that I write from my heart and although most of this post is dripping with controversial undertones I only seek to challenge the status quo. As young professionals we are subjected to stereotypes and thrown the sidelines because we dont express our opinions. The fear of a black list or of not being politically correct is destroying our intellectual exchange of information. I choose to bring controversy to the forefront because the only list I am concerned about is the lamb's book of life.

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