Video: WHY Some Men Expect Sex on a 1st date

 So this amazing person decided to take time (3:08) out of his obviously busy schedule and educate clueless people on the primary reason why women should "give it up" on the first date. Take a look-see:

Nice try fellas but this chick AIN'T buying the bullsh!t you're selling. Lets see... he's crying about spending: $40 for a tank of gas, $30 movie, $20 popcorn and drink and then $60 for dinner. That runs you about $150 if my math is right. I don't feel like checking it. Sue me. As far as I'm concerned, that is a CHEAP DATE. Yea, I just said that. You have to work your way UP to getting away with the $20 dates to Applebee's after 10pm. You can't come with those straight out of the gate. Hell if she loves you enough, you can get away with a Happy Meal date to McD and she won't judge you.

Before we go any further, lets take a step back.

Caveat: I acknowledge not all dates are between a man and a woman but thats all I have had experience with. If any of my homosexual readers would like to chime in on their experience, please enlighten me. Thanks for reading. Moving on...

I don't know what kind of car he drives or what kind of restaurants he frequents but first dates can run you a car payment if you're not careful. I sympathize with men because they are usually the ones dropping the VISIBLE dough on the first date. The man goes above and beyond to front like he's ballin impress the woman and I appreciate all of you for that. What I want all of you to understand is that women do the same thing! Just because we're not swiping our Visa on the date doesn't mean we didn't drop major dough to look cute for your ungrateful a.ss.  He's whining about $150? Since we're talking about money spent, lets explore the other side of this situation shall we?

What about the $100 Steve Madden heels we copped yesterday with our date in mind? Granted, we will have an opportunity to wear the shoes again but thats besides the point. Stay focused *giggles.*

What about the Calvin Klein dress we copped (even though it was on sale) to wear for YOU? That sh*t was $50! We are already at $150 and she hasn't even gotten to hair and make up yet.

What about the matching Mac eye shadow and Dior mascara she got just for the date? Thats another $40+

What about the eyebrow threading appointment and the mani/pedi with gel nail polish? We're climbing past the $200 mark. Yes, this happens. Pick your face up off of the floor and keep reading.

What about the time I spent in the salon on my OFF week just to make sure I look fresh and cute for you? Oh you're crying about spending $150? How much do you think a pack of Indian Remy runs in a store? Oh you don't know? Try $100s/ounce! For my natural sistas (like me) how much do you think I spent to get my stylist to press my hair? Oh you guessed $50? Try $95 BEFORE the tip. That leaves our tally at around $400-500 just to get cute. It costs money to look good. Before you complain about dropping $150, think about the money she dropped to look like she didn't spend 3 days prepping her mind and body to meet you for a "cheap date."

Lets be real here, the reason he wants to have sex on the first date is because he wants to have sex on the first date. It has NADA to do with the amount of money he spent. He has spent that amount of money on a woman before without a "happy ending." He has gone out with a woman who has ordered the most expensive thing on the menu without so much as a hug at the end of the night. NOW he wants to try you because he thinks you're gonna fall for the game, "but baby I spent one hunnid and fiddy dollas on yo fine a.ss. Lemme just put the tip in." There is no shame if you do, but do it because its what you want NOT because it will make him feel like he got his money's worth.

I don't want to get "preachy," but this is the very ideology that has led young women to have sex at a time when they aren't ready. He wants to convince you that giving you a ride home is enough work for him. Treasure your cookie. Don't give it up to any jerk just because he feels you owe it to him. Don't give it to the first man to call you beautiful and don't use it as a weapon or tool to keep a man around. If he doesn't want to stick around because he likes you and not because he likes you putty cat, let him walk away.

What do you think ladies and gentlemen? Is the amount of money he spends on the date enough consideration to let him see whats in your panties? Also, I know the point of this video is to serve up some good ol comedy but should sex really be broken down into monetary terms? Should women allow themselves to feel pressure to have sex because of the amount of money a guy spends on her?

Thanks for sharing the video Bunny!

Funny to Me: Platinum Lovers

Two couples were in competition with each other to see which duo could pantomime love songs better than the other. It is a MUST SEE!

Platinum Lovers ft. Proche & Brandon (BYFKZ) from Gary Beauford on Vimeo.

FUNNY!!!

Thanks for Sharing T-Trib!

Morning Inspiration

GREAT morning my beauties!!! I know you all missed me because I sure did miss you all! I have a quick minute to post so I thought I would share some inspiration with my loves. Here is today's quote:

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. -Dalai Lama

I know this week its been tortoise slow at Talented Generation, but I promise things will pick up soon.  I appreciate you all for sticking with me. This may be a day late and a dollar short since today is Friday but eff it. Has anyone ever told you "Its a blessing to be a blessing?" Well its true. Don't believe me? If you have an opportunity to be a blessing to someone else, take advantage of it. Take note of how it makes you feel.I bet it makes you feel good. I bet it makes you feel better if you do it just because you wanted to do it and not because you were expecting something in return.

Today's challenge is to use your energy to make yourself happy but allot enough energy to do something kind for someone else.

Today's Song Choice: Kirk Franklin-Smile 

Spread love =)

Events: GRITS & BISCUITS comes to DC

If you're in the DC area and you're looking for something to get into tomorrow peep the invite below: 


ROADTRIP!!! You betta believe it! The Dirty is coming to D.C.!!!!

If you don’t know bout GRITS & BISCUITS, it’s bout time we learn ya! If you are from the South, went to school in the South, or just love that Dirty South Swag….this is the set for ya!

E.Z. Mo Breezy Presents GRITS & BISCUITS Party: A Dirty South Set – D.C. Edition! We brought the Dirty to NYC!!! Now it's time to show D.C. some LOVE!

Who: E.Z.Mo Breezy, “You, Yo Momma, and Yo Cousin Too!”
What: GRITS & BISCUITS Party – D.C. Edition
When: Friday September 30, 2011 @ 10pm
Where: Liv Nightclub – 2001 11th Street NW, Washington, DC
Why: Even though you holding all these degrees, trying to make a difference and earning a lil money, you still deserve to shake yo a$$ a bit!

DJ Square Biz will be spinning Dirty South music all night long!!!!! UGK, Outkast, Lil Wayne, Luke, 2 Live Crew, Cash Money, No Limit, Rick Ross, and more!!!!

Come and dance like ya did in college! We promise we won't tell no one. There are a few notes for first timers...

Dress code – there is NONE - be comfortable
Bougie attitudes – you will look foolish
Fun – ALL NIGHT LONG!
Deodorant – That natural ish ain't gone work
Dudes – a plenty
Gals – in abundance
Drank – a flowin
Suit Jacket – rookie mistake
Heels – rookie mistake
Stretching – strongly suggested


I'll be there to get my southern party on. You can purchase your tickets here. 

Bare with me...

I am STILL having internet connectivity issues. I miss posting for you all! Please forgive me for the lack of posts. I have so much to share but not enough time to get it all done. Regular posting will begin soon. In the mean time, check out my new favorite song by Tyrese called "Stay."



Tyrese is bringing back the old school R&B feel to music and I love it! You feelin it?

SN: These 2 have been going at it since Baby Boy! I'm gonna need them to just go ahead and be together!

Women With Baggage & 3 Ways to Deal with Them

In her song "Bag Lady" Erykah Badu warns an anonymous bag lady that she would miss her bus because she was carrying too much stuff. Back when I first heard the song, I thought she was lit'rally referring to a woman carrying a bag. Now when I listen to the tune, I think she is referring to a woman with too much emotional baggage. I heard the song a few days ago and it made me think about all the bag ladies.

By now we all have a little baggage. If someone tells you they don't have baggage run like hell in the other direction because they are LYING. Baggage comes in all forms and I'm not talking about the kind with the LV logo on it. People have baggage from their childhood, their teenage years and even their adult years. The types of baggage spans everything from deferred dreams to sh*tty realities. Then there is the ULTIMATE kind of baggage: daddy issues. Thats a topic for another day.

In the legal field, these people are called the "eggshell plaintiff." It means you accept a victim as they are. If you harm a Plaintiff who was already fragile before, you are liable for the foreseeable injuries your actions caused as well as the injuries that the plaintiff only experienced because of their fragility.

Once you realize she is carrying a bit of baggage you have 2 choices: 1) Deal with it; 2) Decide you don't want nan part of it and walk away. If you decide to deal with it ::hugs:: for you! If you decide to walk away, no love will be lost on my part (can't speak for her, she might stab you). If you realize your woman has baggage and you are not willing to deal with it, do not pass GO, do not collect $200. Cut all ties and let it go. It is better to walk away than to take on a relationship with a woman you can't see yourself with in the long run. She may hate your decision, but she will respect you for it.

For those of you brave enough to stick around, here are 5 things you can do to ease the blow:

1. Ask her about her baggage. Be smart about how you spend the time getting to know her AFTER she reveals her baggage. She trusts you enough to tell you her secrets so give her ample opportunities to tell you about it. Ask questions to let her know you're actually listening.  Don't spend time trying to make guesses about her, ask her. If she is not ready to talk about it, leave her ass alone. I do not suggest that you beg her to talk about it or make her feel bad. She may not be comfortable talking about it and that is ok for her, for now. It is not a good thing for you because you don't know what you're getting yourself into.

2. Be honest about your feelings. One of the worst thing you can do is pretend like knowing about her baggage doesn't affect you. When you met her everything was superficial. she was a sweet, kind hearted woman. She was beautiful. Its ok to admit it. She may have revealed something you weren't expecting. Its ok to be shocked. Its ok to be taken aback. Its ok to have reservations about going forward. Don't keep those feelings away from her.

3. Create an honesty circle. An honesty circle is an opportunity for both of you to say (potentially hurtful) things to each other. Its a time when you can be brutally honest about how you feel without regard for being PC or trying to soften the blow. Its not a place to be willfully hurtful but it allows for the honest exchange of emotions. Good honesty circle sessions start with truth statements like "When you did X, it made me feel like Y." Sounds lame as hell right?  I know. An honesty circle is important because it is where she can feel comfortable sharing her feelings with you without a fear of being judged.

What say you beautiful people? Did I miss any options for dealing with "Bag Ladies"?

Morning Inspiration

GREAT morning my loves!!! Happy Friday!! Here is today's quote: “What is the quality of your intent? Certain people have a way of saying things that shake us at the core. Even when the words do not seem harsh or offensive, the impact is shattering. What we could be experiencing is the intent behind the words. When we intend to do good, we do. When we intend to do harm, it happens. What each of us must come to realize is that our intent always comes through. We cannot sugarcoat the feelings in our heart of hearts. The emotion is the energy that motivates. We cannot ignore what we really want to create. We should be honest and do it the way we feel it. What we owe to ourselves and everyone around is to examine the reasons of our true intent. My intent will be evident in the results.” -Thurgood Marshall I challenge you today to be honest with yourself about the intent behind your actions. Are you really doing things because of what you tell people or are you doing it because it sounds nice? Are you doing things to be hurtful or did it become hurtful by accident? What are you really expecting to get out of what you're doing? You can only fake intent for so long before it shines through. I encourage all of you to be kind in both your actions and in your intent.  Remember its nice to be nice but its only nice if your actions are genuine. Don't force your "nice" and don't pretend to be something you are not. There is no need to be fake because there are people who will love you in spite of your flaws.  Today's Song choice: The Staple Singers-I'll Take You There

Spread Love! 

RIP Troy Davis

I don't have much time to post today but I could not continue blogging without first acknowledging the egregiousness of the Troy Davis case, conviction, rejection of appeals and his subsequent execution last night.

As of 11:08 pm last night Troy Davis was executed by the state of Georgia. This was done in the face of doubt and with a lack of evidence. I'm not saying he is innocent but I do believe he deserved more consideration than he received.

My prayers are with the Davis family as well as the family of the slain cop. Anyone who says they feel justice can only be served through the death of another needs to be covered in the blood. Because of my internet connectivity issues, my post may be a day late and dollar short, but its coming.

My prayer is that something good will come from this. I hope all of the people who were so moved to text, tweet and post to Facebook about it are also moved to action. I hope my generation and all people begin to take our responsibilities for serving on juries and volunteering for places like The Innocence Project and those similar to it. I pray Troy Davis is the last man who could have been innocent to be executed. I hope this moves people to question the death penalty and call their representatives to motivate them to fight against it.

I hope Mr. Davis finds the peace in death that he did not have in life.

Sidenote: I'm *this* close to relying on Twitter for breaking news as it is becoming more of a source for breaking news than any major news network.

In Case You Missed It: Vh1's Planet Rock Explores The History Of Crack in Hip Hop

Source
VH1 recently aired an astounding and fluid documentary about the relationship between crack cocaine and hip hop culture. Narrated and executive produced by Ice-T, Planet Rock: The Story of Hip Hop and the Crack Generation, is the first documentary to focus specifically on the connections between crack and hip-hop. Based primarily on the first-person accounts of four famous dealers-turned-rappers, the film also widens its lens at points to show how crack changed America culturally, socially and politically. Using rare footage, photos, and animation, all set to the beats and rhymes of the iconic hip hop tracks of the day, the documentary explores how media hysteria, racism and political reaction produced policies and laws that have left us with the largest —and most disproportionately African-American— prison population in the world. 


Listen as Barry Michael Cooper explains the Inspirations Behind New Jack City

Terry Williams on Sex in the Crack House

Too Short Explains How His Hood Saved Him 

For those of you who don't know much about the relationship between crack and hip hop here is a little history for you. Crack first appeared in the early 1980s, but by 1986, it was raging through the inner cities of America like wildfire, leaving pain, grief, and death in its wake. With candid, never-before-seen interviews from survivors, including Snoop Dogg, Cypress Hill’s B-Real, and the Wu-Tang Clan’s RZA and Raekwon, Planet Rockexamines the hardships young men encountered growing up in impoverished neighborhoods, which led many to deal crack cocaine as their only way out. This destructive drug not only provided an escape, but also paved the way for an entrance into hip-hop.

More than any other art form, hip-hop reflected and documented the crack epidemic. The chaos and madness of the crack phenomenon was fused with the sound and style of hip-hop during its formative years. From the gold dookie chain to Gucci, many hip-hop artists were influenced by the look and fashion of infamous dealers like Azie Faison in Harlem, who is prominently featured in the documentary, along with Freeway Ricky Ross, the Godfather of Crack in LA. As hip-hop became increasingly popular, the fascination with crime and gangster culture, specifically the violence inherent in crack culture, became ingrained in the music. And soon the very kids dealing crack were turning their street tales into hit records. After serving hard time in jail, Snoop Dogg became the biggest rapper of his day; after a bullet in the back nearly killed him, B Real went legit with Cypress Hill; and after crafting their business model on the crack hustle, RZA and Raekwon turned the Wu Tang Clan into a hip hop empire. As journalist Cheo Choker reflects, “it’s fascinating to think that Jay Z, a global icon who had better seats at President Obama’s inauguration than Jesse Jackson, was once a New York City crack dealer.”

Planet Rock: The Story of Hip Hop and the Crack Generation, is the newest installment in the Emmy Award winning VH1 Rock Doc franchise. The VH1 Rock Doc Soul Train: The Hippest Trip in America was recently nominated in the Outstanding Arts & Culture Programming category for this year’s News & Documentary Emmy Award. VH1 Rock Docs are feature-length documentaries that tell unique stories of artists and music from a wide range of genres, styles and musical perspectives. Planet Rock: The Story of Hip Hop and the Crack Generation, will be available online following the on-air premiere on September 18. For more information on VH1 Rock Docs go to RockDocs.VH1.com

Morning Inspiration

GREAT morning guys and gals! Its a new day to celebrate life and its many surprises. We can celebrate together thru today's quote:

"If you want to take your mission in life to the next level, if you're stuck and you don't know how to rise, don't look outside yourself. Look inside. Don't let your fears keep you mired in the crowd. Abolish your fears and raise your commitment level to the point of no return, and I guarantee you that the Champion Within will burst forth to propel you toward victory."- Bruce Jenner

I never imagined the day would come when I used a quote from a member of the Kardash clan. Fact is, its difficult to escape their strong hold so if you can't beat em...moving on. Today I challenge all of you to reach deep inside of yourselves and push yourself to go above and beyond. Ask yourself, what are you motivated by? Ask yourself, what are you trying to accomplish? Teach yourself to look inside yourself for motivation. I am not saying you cannot spoil yourself with material things but that should not be your only motivation. Search for long term motivation and things that will still be meaningful to you years from now. 


Do what you do because it will make you happy not because it looks good or makes others envy you. 


Have an IMPECCABLE hump day! 


Today's song choice: Mike Jones (WHO?!)-Back Then


P.S. In an attempt to fix my internet connection, I reset my modem and password but now it doesn't work AT ALL. Techs have been called and the problem should be fixed by Friday. Thanks for reading! 

Morning Inspiration

GREAT morning beautiful people! Happy Friday! Here is today's quote:


We will always have seasons of struggles and testing. There are times when everything we attempt to do will seem to go wrong. Regardless of our prayers and consecration, adversity will come. We can’t pray away God’s seasons. The Lord has a purpose in not allowing us to be fruitful all the time. These periods destroy our pride in our own ability and reinforce our dependency on the sufficiency of our God. -TD JAKES

The quote above is powerful enough in and of itself. If it didn't affect your spirit, read it again. I chose to share this quote so that I could take the time to encourage you all to share your struggles. We all go through rough times and are made stronger because of them. Through it all hold on to your dignity and continue to fight.  I am not here to tell you everything will get easier because that is not always true. I do want to encourage you all to take everything-good and bad-in stride. Before you question why you are going through something, seek to recognize the purpose for your adversity and learn from it. Step down off of your high horse and open your eyes. 


Today's Song Choice: Father Can You Hear Me


Spread love =)

Morning Inspiration

GREAT morning beautiful people!! Happy Hump Day! Here is today's quote:

Let us not be content and wait and see what will happen, but give us the determination to make the right things happen. -Peter Marshall

While no one has a sure-fire formula for becoming successful we all have our own idea about what failure looks like. My idea of failure is to stop working to make things happen. It is very difficult for me to sit and wait. I'm not one to sit around and engage in wishful thinking either. I prefer to put in work so I can enjoy the fruits of my labor when they are ripe. I look at my progress like I am a gardener. I look at my goals/dreams like plants. Just like gardening, success is something you must continue to work at and work towards. You must be sure to water your goals with hard work. You must provide your goals with the proper nutrients. You must give your goals the proper amount of sunlight by allowing them the room to grow. You must monitor your goals and protect them from bad weather. Also important, you must weed your garden. This means at every step of your process, take special care to protect your brand. Eliminate the people who are benefitting from your hard work while making you look bad. People will want to latch on to you because they see you beaming with success but be cautious. Don't be afraid to grab the weed whacker and eliminate them from your circle.

Gardeners don't stop working towards success because he/she has realized his/her goals. They  understand that it is a cycle. Gardeners are not content with this season's harvest. They know that gardening is a continuous process. When you achieve one set of goals, you sow new seeds and embark to accomplish more things.

I pray all of you have the determination to get up, get out and make something happen. Its only right!

SN: Wow time is FLYING! We are almost half way through September! Where is 2011 going?

Today's Song Choice: New Edition-Can You Stand The Rain?

Spread Love!

PAUSE! Swizz Beatz's Side Chick Wants to Clear Her Name

You are outta line! sucka!

Before I release the goods, understand that I was raised during a time when heauxxs knew they were heauxxs. People had affairs but they were not public. The other women knew their place and they played their role. They knew they were heauxxs but they didn't want to be "outed." Heauxxs never stirred up trouble. They never called your house. They never showed up to your job. They never called your wife or girlfriend. They never went thru your things looking for remnants of your life outside of the infidelity. They were ok with being a side chick. No matter how many rumors circulated about them, they never released statements where they claimed to want to clear their name. They never revealed the details of their affairs and people lived happily ignorant. They didn't want people to know about their indiscretions because they understood that nobody wants to turn a heauxx into a housewife. Granted, this meant the women had a little more respect for themselves than they have nowadays. 


Now before all of you women's rights people get up in arms about me calling women heauxxs, understand something real quick: for the purpose of this post, I use that term to refer to women who knowingly sleep with married men. If you're still up in arms, think about how you would refer to a woman you found out was sleeping with your husband KNOWING he was married to you. Think about what you would call her if you knew she had sexual relations with your husband in your bed, knowing it was your bed. Now if you still feel the same way about me calling her a heauxx, congratulations you are a better person than I am. Go buy yourself a cookie!™  

Caveat: I'm not one to sugarcoat the truth so forgive my comments if you came here looking for someone to be nice. I am fully aware of how bad it looks for one black women to speak ill of another black woman. I am fully prepared to accept all karmic disasters resulting from my actions. I don't associate with heauxxs so I don't know this woman personally. I don't care to get to know her. God aint got me there yet. My statements are for my entertainment and perhaps for yours. I have no sympathy or empathy for women like this. I know women can be our own worst enemy and I try hard not to perpetuate that but some things can't be ignored. 

...and here we go:

Ijuswannaclearmyname in 1500 words or less

"I’m only making this statement because I’m being put out there as a liar and I am very embarrassed. I would like to confirm that the rumor about Swizz Beatz cheating on Mashonda with me is absolutely true. I would also like to confirm that the rumors about Swizz “sexting” me, even in his present marriage, are absolutely true. I am also confirming that I lost my cell phone and someone else posted all the stuff that you see on the internet."

PAUSE. "I'm only making this statement because..." She started off lying! This heauxx is tryna get famous! She's not embarrassed! She openly admits she was involved in an affair! Since when is that ok? Furthermore, WTF is she looking for in admitting this? Did she miss the memo that jump-off tell alls were soooo 2005?! Did she also miss the memo that nobody is checking for Swizz anymore? She LOST her cell phone and someone else posted everything? Who the hell is she? Who is checking for her and her "lost' cell phone? Who the hell knows who she is? What kind of person doesn't have a lock on their phone? I smell a rat! I know she dropped that ish herself. She is obviously delusional but I'm gonna keep reading. 

"I’ve known Kasseem since 2007. We met at Solange Knowles’ (whom I do not associate with) birthday party in Houston, TX. A gentleman from Kasseem’s entourage approached me and said that someone wanted to talk to me. After I asked who it was, he pointed at Kasseem. I knew he was “Swizz Beatz”, but I did not know anything else about him. I gave him my phone number and he called me right away and invited me to eat at Katz’ Deli on Montrose Blvd. The next morning, he invited me to accompany him at Radio One (979 The Box) for his interview. Afterwards, we went back to his hotel room but we DID NOT HAVE SEX." 

PAUSE. Woop-de-doo she knows his government name. You know how I know she knows she's a heauxx? She made sure to tell us she didn't have sex with him the first time she met him or the second time she met him. Why did she take the time to do that? Because she wants us to believe that she is not a typical heauxx. That time period is like the heauxx's version of Steve Harvey's "90 day rule." She wants us to believe she has values and morals. She wants us to see her as the victim. Her words imply she was impressed by his invitation to do a radio interview. Even though the viewers could not see her, she felt important. She felt special. She was confused. Po lil tink tink. 

"A couple of hours later, he had to leave so he could catch his flight. He hugged and kissed me in public as if he were a single man. Fast forward to a few weeks later, he invited me out to Miami with him and I gladly accepted. I met him in Dallas and we flew to Miami together. My last minute ticket placed me in coach and his ticket placed him in first class, but he switched his first class seat with the guy sitting next to me so he could sit next to me. In Miami, we stayed at his friends beautiful home. This is where we became sexually active and this is where I found out he was married. He snuck me through the house and it was all odd to me until I found a gift with Mashonda & Kasseem’s name on it. I asked him later on why he was cheating on her and he basically said she wasn’t being the wife he needed. He also said that if she asked if he was cheating, he would not lie to her, but he wouldn’t come right out and tell her."

PAUSE! He hugged and kissed you as if he were a single man? What does THAT look like?! Married men have lips and hugs too! They don't surrender them when they say "I do." He told her he was married, and she decided to stay so why pretend like it was anything else than what it was?  She could have cut her losses and let it go. It had only been a few weeks and the 2 didn't have any strong ties. She's probably never been told by her friends that she is a jumpoff. Her friends are probably jumpoffs too. She didn't care that he was married because she was smanging Swizz Beatz. Swizz flucking Beatz! She thought she hit the jackpot! Then again, if he didn't care about his relationship why should she? 

"After that trip, he invited me to meet him in Philly. I was picked up from the airport and taken to a club where he was performing at. Him and his crew jumped in the truck and we drove to VA from there. In VA, we got on a tour bus and drove to multiple destinations. After that, I flew back to Miami, he got sick and I got stranded in the Miami airport overnight. I flew back home to Houston the next day."

PAUSE! iCant! Moving on...

"Later that week, he went on an overseas trip with Mashonda. I received a call from him saying “My wife is about to call you. Tell her nothing happened.” When Mashonda called me, this is exactly what I did. He did not contact me after that. They got a divorce and although we stayed in contact afterwards, there was nothing too drastic. I’m guessing this is when he was dating Alicia. 

PAUSE. So she knew he and Mashonda (his wife at the time) were still carrying about as married couples do?! This heauxx chose to stay because she wanted to stay. She was NOT deceived. Swizz did NOT lie to her. She spoke nothing of promises from Swizz to leave his wife. What made her stay? What made her leak this sh*t? I bet Swizz knows. 

"Recently, we’ve been contacting each other (as you’ve all seen), but I haven’t physically seen him. We were making plans to, but I had to work and I wasn’t going to take off work to go see him."

PAUSE! My head is spinning. I need to get this straight: So you watched him go through a divorce, date AND MARRY another woman but that doesn't stop you from continuing to communicate with him on a romantic level? Is it just me?!

"I live on my own, I have responsibilities and I strongly believe that if you are not contributing to those responsibilities, there is no reason for me to neglect them to entertain you. I am a very independent individual and the people who know me will tell you that I would never hold my hand out and ask for anything and if I do, I have a very hard time doing it."

*Slow claps*         *Violin plays*

"Even though Swizz offered and offered and offered to buy me things, the only thing I accepted was plane tickets to go see him. He’s a wonderful man and I had a great time with him as well as a great relationship. Of course he’ll deny the whole thing and of course Alicia will stand up for her man. It’s understood."

PAUSE! So the only thing you got from him was a smang and a plane ticket? U dropped everything you were doing to be at his beckon call and you don't have anything to show for it? I LAUGH at you. Dude is a multi-millionaire and all he splurged on you was a couple grand on last minute flights? I'm not saying she should have pimped herself out for a Louie purse and some red bottoms but damn all of that. If you're going to sleep with another woman's man and act bold enough to f*ck in another woman's home, cut the innocent act and live that sh*t up. You better accept all the purses, shoes, cars and other gifts he offers. We all know you're a heauxx so cut the bullsh*t good girl act. If you're a heauxx, be a good heauxx. Don't be a dumb heauxx. Most of all, be a heauxx who keeps it real with yourself. Don't go around tryna justify why you slept with a married man using any other reason that your heauxx character. Her "independence" didn't have anything to do with anything. She didn't accept gifts because she felt guilty. She knew one day it would end and she knew she could make herself feel better if she didn't have any material things left over from the affair. 

This whole "statement" is just too much of too much. Since when do jumpoffs feel the need to clear their name? Further, what she did here was NOT clear her name. She dug herself into an even deeper hole. I guess I shouldn't be so rough on her. Heauxxs are people too. 

*sigh*

YouTube Foolery: When IMPERSONATORS Cross the Line

Some of you may not know this about me but I enjoy watching a bit of foolishness every now and again. It keeps me sane. Gone and judge me. Now that we have that out of the way, lets get down to the nitty gritty. I know Nicki has her voices and multiple personalities, but some of her impersonators take it too far. For example, THIS GUY:



I'm not sure what to do with this thing. Seriously, my head is spinning. It appears he has an entire channel dedicated to his outlandish impersonations. All I know is, he needs to bottle and sell WHATEVER he is on because he is spesh-ul!

Get you a piece!

My 9/11 Story: 10 years later

Everyone has that moment outside of an upcoming birthday where they look at their age and feel "old." My moment came when I realized The Lion King was in theatres 17 years ago. WOW! Yea, that made me feel old AF.

Its breath taking to consider how time gets away from us. I was reminded of how fast time flies when I saw the first "9/11: 10 years later" tv promo. My reaction was "Cot dang, its been 10 years already?!" Dang I was 15 years old! Eeek! So much has changed since then. Still, I look at my calendar and I know it has been 10 years but it doesn't feel like 10 years. Hell, it doesn't feel like 2 years. I like to think back on what was important to me back then compared to what is important now and I'm glad many of those things have changed.

By now I have heard it a thousand times,"you will never forget where you were on 9/11." You've watched the documentaries of "never before seen footage" and sat through specials that featured interviews with everyone from the person who took the tickets that day to the children who were in the classroom at the moment when Bush found out America was under attack.

Its been 10 years and I can tell my version of the  story like it happened yesterday: I was a high school sophomore enjoying all the perks that came along with having an older sister who was loved by the school administration: free hall passes, excuses to get out of class and the opportunity to eat lunch off campus. Back to my point. She entered our first period television production class in a panic and I thought it was merely another one of her "acts" to get me out of class. Yea she was always animated. My sister rambled about seeing a news story on the innanets about a plane hitting the WTC towers. As the cynical habitual line crosser that I am, I immediately dismissed her and told her "drugs are bad, mmkay?" and proceeded to give her the kind of hug you see on Intervention. She insisted that she was telling the truth and asked my teacher for permission to show me the story online. I thought she had taken it a little too far, and possibly surrendered to taking drugs for the first time but I still followed her. Don't judge me, I REALLY did not like that class. As she showed me the story, our Principal came over the intercom and informed us of what had happened. The bell rang for us to change classes and I dragged my feet to go to chemistry. Our teacher turned on the news radio and we listened as the air waves told an unbelievable story: America was under attack. He still wanted us to complete the days lesson tho.

I realized on that day how invincible I thought America was. Before 9/11/01, I went about my days feeling 100% safe from any invaders. No one would DARE attack our great nation. I learned I was wrong. I learned our invincibility cloak did not exist. I learned there are people who genuinely want to cause harm for the sake of causing harm (and possibly making a point). On that day, I felt like a hopeless victim. People were suffering and I could not do anything to help them. I sat and watched people cry. I wondered why I wasn't sad like them. I didn't have any family or friends near NYC so maybe thats why; my personal connection did not exist. That didn't stop me from being glued to CNN. I remember fear being widespread even in South Florida. I remember news stories about how our nuclear power plants were not safe.

My family and I stayed up half the night glued to the television watching the news stories. We listened to the chilling and genuine reactions of anchors who exclaimed in terror "oh my God" as they watched another plane hit the other tower. We watched live as the first tower imploded and collapsed. Then the second followed. New Yorkers ran around the city in a panic many of them covered in smut. I watched in terror as people chose to jump to their death. I tried desperately to understand what what going on, but I failed. I remember talking about it for weeks. I remember hearing all of the conspiracy theorists. I remember Bush's speeches assuring those involved, "WE WILL FIND YOU" and wanting to believe him.

Despite my memory of that tragic day, I struggle 10 years later to empathize with all of the coverage surrounding "the day that changed America." Everyone from major news networks to social media users are sharing their memories. Much like my story above, people tell where they were, what they were doing and how they reacted when they first heard the towers were hit. The closest feeling I have to that moment was when I found out my 3 month old nephew suddenly passed away. It was a HUGE blow to my gut and I'm pretty sure my heart sank into my toes. I remember where I was that day and I remember how I felt. I think about him often and sometimes find myself dreaming about the kind of kid he would have turned out to be. I don't cry anymore. I honor his life and that is all my brain will allow me to do. I feel guilty when I don't feel sad. Isn't that what people are supposed to feel when they think of the loved ones they have lost?

I pray for the families of all affected by 9/11 but the coverage leading up to the anniversary seemed like overkill to me. On the one hand you have conspiracy theorists who still claim 9/11 was an "inside job" and on the other hand you have the extremists who insist on perpetuating fear by any means necessary. I'm somewhere in the middle. Now that I live in DC I am cautious, especially when I am downtown. When we experienced the earthquake one of my initial concerns was that we were under attack, again. I found myself thanking God that it was only an earthquake.

What is your experience? How do you feel about 9/11 10 years later? Is the coverage too much or too little?

Morning Inspiration

GREAT morning beautiful people!! Its motivation MONDAY! I hope you all enjoyed your weekend! It was a beautiful weekend in the DMV and that is ALWAYS a good thing. Here is today's quote: 


"Never let go of hope. One day you will see that it all has finally come together. What you have always wished for has finally come to be. You will look back and laugh at what has passed and you will ask yourself...'How did I get through all of that?" -Author Unknown

As young professionals and new grads, our lives are in a state of transition. Things are up in the air and we have to be patient with ourselves. The climb to the top is not easy but I know I will have one hell of a story to tell when I get there. One thing I know I will not allow myself to do is to give up hope. 

I'm sure you all have experienced your fair share of adversity and I am here today to tell you to keep pushing. It is NOT ok for you to surrender your hopes and dreams because things got a little rough. I know Mondays can be a little rough when you feel underemployed and unappreciated but don't allow your circumstances to deflate your balloon of hope. Keep your mind focused on the light at the end of the tunnel even if you can't see it yet. You have to trust and believe it is there. You would be doing yourself a disservice if you allowed yourself to let go of the hopes and dreams you have worked so hard to see become a reality. 

I work hard and I know all of you do too. Although I can't be 100% sure what motivates you all to keep going, I hope it all pays off for you. My sincere prayer is for all of you to be happy doing what you love to do. 

**If adversity builds character, I'm on my way to becoming an entire CAST.**




Today's song choice: Cee-Lo Green & Melonie Fiona Fool For You


Spread love! 

Dear Diary, I Need To Share A Word Of Encouragement

Caveat: I know the purpose of this blog is not to air out my personal business so when I post things I try to keep it objective while also protecting my private life. Eff it, its exception making time. 


This post is partly to encourage you all, but I can tell sharing my feelings will be therapeutic for me as well. You could not have told me 3 years ago I would graduate law school and be underemployed. In fact, if you had told me that I probably would have treated you to a roundhouse kick to your face and called you bad names. I was a lesser woman back then. Still, I awaken EVERY morning with a smile on my face and ready to face the day. There are so many things I look forward to and I smile at the blessings I see while acknowledging God for the ones I don't see. Don't get scared, I'm not about to start preaching. Darn heathens were ready to stop reading. Tisk!

We have a new guy at work and after hearing my story (recent law grad, etc) he asked me how I keep going in the face of everything? I happily told him there is no other option but for me to keep going. What are we supposed to do? Stop living? I'm not bout that life. I mean my life is about a lot of things but giving up has NEVER been my steez. I take it a day at a time. I truly believe life is too short to sit around and feel miserable. I can't focus on what I am missing but I can choose to appreciate what I have. It may rain everyday but at least I'm blessed to have a raincoat. Do you see what I did there? 

I can't ever allow myself to forget that there are people who would like to be where I am. YES, I just said that. There are people who desired to apply but never got around to sending off their apps to law school. There are people who could never grasp the concepts on the LSAT. I can choose to focus on the fact that I don't have the job I truly want yet but what good would that do for my life? I long one day to open my own business and be my own boss. Does it bother me that I'm not there yet? Damn skippy. I'm a boss at heart. I don't like taking orders from others especially when I believe I could run a business way better than them. I am better at giving orders but I treat my current situation is a learning experience. I believe I will be a better boss because of it. 


I won't sit here and pretend like I don't ever feel down on myself but I can tell you those moods don't last long. I have learned to let go of my pride and reach out to my friends and family for encouragement. Its refreshing to hear them tell me how far they know I'm destined to go.  It reminds me of all the dreams I told them I had and I want them to hold me accountable. I can't live my dreams if I live my life feeling sorry for myself because times got a lil hard. I'm still eating well, sleeping well and laughing often I just can't up and go to Paris like I dreamed I would. 

"Things could be worse." Thats what people tell me. I believe them but it doesn't always make things better. Surround yourself with people who love and care about you.  


If no one has told you lately, I want to tell you to keep dreaming. Don't ever stop working towards becoming what you want to become.