Lebron James & The MIAMI HEAT are the 2012 NBA Champions!

RIP to all the "Lebron is ringless jokes." 


In a stunning upset, the Miami Heat defeated OKC Thunder 121-106 to become the 2012 NBA Champs!
Actually, by the time the 4th quarter rolled around, the beating was hard to watch. I hope you all had an opportunity to witness history-Lebron James got his first (of many more to come) championship ring. As a longtime fan of Lebron James, I shed a single tear from my left eye *and then I hit my dougie.*


Of course, people are still trying to find a way to hate on Lebron but this is the time to give him props. He ended the last game of the NBA season with a triple double: 28 points; 13 assists and 11 rebounds. He was the unanimous choice for the Bill Russell MVP trophy for the 2012 NBA finals. Accepting his trophy, James says his first thought when he realized they were champs was "Its about damn time." Indeed, it is about damned time. 


Don't be such a hater you can't give respect where its due...it makes you look stupid. You can't deny Bron's will to win or the hard work he put in to get where he is.


Congrats to the 2012 NBA Champs Miami Heat!!! 

Congrats to the Miami Heat players, their coach Nick Spoelstra, Pat Riley, the team owners and their fans. 


With the official parade on Monday, I know the city of Miami and South Beach are gonna be LIVE until Tuesday!


Its a celebration b*tches!!! 

KeeK's Dating Adventures: Episode 2

Every big city has its own personality. 

From the people to the restaurants to the attractions and mash up of cultures, no two big cities are the same. I haven't decided what DC's personality is like. In some circles, DC is considered New York City's younger sister. People who have lived in both claim DC has everything New York City has except it is "slower." Their words, not mine. Then again, some people say DC isn't a big city at all. I don't listen to those people. 

Dating in a big city is good and bad. Its good because there is a plethora of people to choose from when you decide you're ready to spread your social butterfly wings. Its bad because you never know what you're really getting.  Dating a complete stranger is a big risk. That is why people are more comfortable dating someone they're familiar with. You can chat with mutual friends about their personality and get a good idea of what to expect. I grew up in a small town where "everybody knows everybody." Before you decided to date someone you could ask around town and get  their dating resume. Everyone uses that system as opposed to branching out and dating people from a different city. 

In case you missed it, peep episode 1 HERE. 
Anywho, enough lead-in its time for Episode 2. 

"The Green-Eyed Brotha" 

Where we Met: At DC's Union Station. I worked part time at the Ann Taylor location there for a brief period and I was happy to have just ended a long day. I decided to go have a drink at B. Smith's before heading home. When I saw him sitting alone at the bar,  I hesitated.  He looked like the type who would want to chat. I sat at the opposite end of the bar taking special care not to make eye contact. I was being rude on purpose. 

The Number Exchange:
After 2 drinks and an appetizer I looked up from my phone to find him leering at me. We made eye contact and I smiled a half-way smile. I really did not want to be bothered. He didn't get that read. I figured I was sending mixed signals. He walked over and complimented my smile and my eyes. I let my guard down. He was gorgeous. His skin was flawless. His suit was tailored to a "T" and his smile was perfect. His eyes were a beautiful hue of green and his hair had a bit of a curl. He was tall and I could tell he was younger but he had the confidence of an older man. We chatted for about an hour. When I asked why he was single, he griped about his ex-girlfriend's struggle to understand his ambition; a struggle that drove them to break up. Eventually, he shared his affinity for white women and admitted he hasn't dated "that many black women." He was still dealing with the breakup but he made it very clear he wanted to get to know me better. I decided I enjoyed our conversation so I gave up my digits.  

The First Date: 
We texted and emailed back and forth for a few days before we agreed to return to B. Smith's. He called it "our spot." Dinner was on a Tuesday night at 7pm. I decided to wear a dress and ballet flats. We hugged and he complimented my Marc Jacobs Lola perfume and Isaac Mizrahi dress by name. He said he was really into fashion. He expressed strong interests in getting to know me and (in hindsight) was strangely interested in figuring out how "sexually open minded" I was. Throughout the date he made it clear how badly he wanted to kiss me. It made me uncomfortable. The conversation was stimulating but I left the date on the fence about whether I wanted to see him again. My gut was telling me something wasn't right. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I told him to give me time to ponder meeting up again. After he asked a few times, I told him I was not interested in seeing him again. He said he was ok with that and wished me the best. 

The Big TWIST: 
Two months had passed since our B. Smith's rendezvous when I found myself overdressed in cowgirl boots and a trendy dress in Georgetown. I was sent there on a random mission to recoup a Movado from a jewelry repair shop. It usually takes me 7 minutes to drive to Georgetown. There were some street closures that day so my drive was more like 15 minutes. It took me another 15 minutes to find a space but my park was right in front of the shop. All of this timing is going to make sense. The jeweler turned out to be more chatty than I expected but I didn't worry about getting ticketed (anyone who has ever lived in DC knows the fear of getting a ticket is REAL) because I could see my car and I was three steps away from the door. I chatted with the jeweler for 20 minutes before I was finally able to get away. She complimented my style on my way out and I heard the bells go off as I walked through the door. *Ding Ding* No sooner than the door closed behind me did I turn to my right and see Brandon. He was wearing short shorts and a racer back tee that was so loose I could see both of his nipples. He was wearing silver glitter Toms. He was trying to convince his friend to skip with him. His voice was higher pitched and he was giggling. My heart dropped into my stomach. "Thats not Brandon" is what I said to myself. Indeed, it was Brandon. He was holding hands with a younger white man and I reached the bottom of the jeweler's steps just in time to see the two share a kiss on the cheek. I threw up a little in my mouth. 

"Hi Brandon. How are you?" I said with a sneer. I made eye contact with him and he looked like he had seen a ghost. "Hi KeeKs. I wasn't expecting to see you here" he responded. "Oh I can tell" I said mockingly. The look on his face said so many things: He was caught and he knew it. He knew he had never mentioned this lifestyle.  He introduced his cutesy friend to me. The friend winked at me. "Is your number still the same?" Brandon asked. "Yes, its still the same. I don't see a reason you would want to use it tho. Anyway I don't wanna hold you two up from skipping enjoy your day fellas." I walked away sick to my stomach and overjoyed that I never let his lips touch my body. In that order. 

I started my drive home unsure of how I felt about what I saw. I thought about the timing of it all. I exited the jeweler's shop at the perfect time. I didn't have to go snooping around. I never even thought to ask. My phone started vibrating indicating the receipt of a text message. I knew it was Brandon. I knew he would want to explain. 

"Let me explain" the message read. 
"Explain what sweetheart?" I asked. 
"I am not gay. I want you to know that" he responded. 
"I never said you were darling, but apparently your heart is guilty. You don't owe me an explanation" I shared. 
"I know what it looked like and its not like that. I am not gay. I just started identifying as bi[sexual]. I'm sorry I never got around to telling you. I was going to tell you on our second date." he wrote. 

My heart was beating through my chest. OMG I was Terry McMillian! I was disappointed in myself. I'm still not sure if I felt betrayed. 


How could I have missed the signs?
How could I have missed seeing that he is the type of guy who has sex with other men? 
How could I have been so naive? 

After 10 messages or so he called. I hit the ignore button. The last thing I wanted to do was talk to him. I assured Brandon via text I was not upset with him and I was not. I felt pity for him. I never got serious with him so I wouldn't allow myself to get upset. Shocked. That is the only emotion I could feel. In one fell swoop I had gone from a woman who thought she could peg a gay man with a once-over to a woman who almost dated one without knowing. Brandon insisted he didn't consider himself gay and that is why he decided to pursue me. He said the real reason his girlfriend left him was because he came clean (after a year) about his strong desire to go back to sleeping with both men and women. She wasn't "open" to that. Brandon said he was hopeful that he would find a woman who could accept the fact that he also enjoys sleeping with men. I wished him the best. 

What I learned: 
You can never be too careful when you're dating. When I told my friends back in Florida I was going to law school in DC one of the first things they warned me about was "Down low brothas." They would say things like "Chile you know its an epidemic up there. & you gotta be careful because some of em 'look regular'." I wasn't worried because I thought I had a state-of-the-art gaydar. My naïveté allowed me to think I could peg a guy for gay 100 yards away. I thought I could look at the way a man walked, talked and dressed to determine whether he was gay. Boyyyyy was I wrong.  The main thing I learned was not to put anything past anyone. Before my interaction with Brandon I never thought to come out and ask a man if he's ever had sex with another man. Some men are offended by it, but I can't go on dating in DC assuming they will all say no. I don't have any qualms with homosexual people. I still don't know if there ever would have been a good time for Brandon to reveal his bisexuality to me. 

By the way, go HEAT! 

Sharing IS Caring: 20 Things to START Doing in Relationships

Its almost Friday.

Someone on my Facebook newsfeed helped get my brain working this morning when they posted this tidbit. I find it full of truth and simple yet profound advice so I decided to share. 

Not that at the top of the list is "Free Yourself From Negative People"<----if that aint the realest TRUTH to ever not be a lie! One of my other favs is "Leave Petty Arguments Alone."

I hope seeing these 20 things gives you all some inspiration about how to handle the relationships in your life. Since here are no specific references to the title you give the relationship it is safe to say these things are meant to apply to every type of relationship.

P. S. I really should stop posting things about relationships lest ya'll dub me a relationship blogger.

ATTN: DMV Residents. Need something to Do? Talented Generation to the RESCUE!

One of the things I love about living in this area is that there is always something to do. For the remainder of this week, that something is in Silver Spring at the Silverdocs International Film Festival. 


What the heck is the Silverdocs Festival? 

Since you're too lazy to Google it I'll tell you. Silverdocs encompasses a seven-day international film festival and five-day concurrent conference that promotes documentary film as a leading art form, supports the work of independent filmmakers and fosters an atmosphere for public dialogue and civic engagement around the issues and ideas explored in the films. Silverdocs was created through a unique alliance between AFI and the Discovery Channel, the festival’s Founding Sponsor.


Already underway, the 10^th annual Festival lasts until June 24, 2012. The  festival will take place at the AFI Silver Theatre & Cultural Center and other fantastic locations in and around downtown Silver Spring, MD. 
 
One documentary I'm going to support is La Source. The documentary chronicles the journey of Josue Lajeunesse- a Haitian Princeton janitor who seeks the support of the privileged community he serves everyday and sacrifices everything to revive his lifelong dream to bring what is most fundamental to his village’s survival; clean water. Lajeunesse grew up in the rural town of La Source, Haiti, where the residents live without plumbing or electricity and must embark on a treacherous hike up a mountain every day in order to obtain clean water. Now working as a janitor at Princeton University by day and a cab driver by night, Lajeunesse is convinced that there must be a better way for his hometown friends and family to live. Together with his carpenter brother Chrismedonne, who still lives in Haiti, Lajeunesse decides to organize an effort to finally bring clean water to La Source. 


The doc premiers tonight at the AFI Silver Theatre at 5:00pm. The only other showing is on Saturday, June 23 at 9:45am. 


Tickets are $13.00 for general admission and can be purchased here. 


***
Mr. Lajeunesse serves as an example that you don't have to "make it" before you give back. I know some of you are waiting until you make a certain amount of money or work a certain job before you do something to give back but you don't have to wait. You CAN give back right now. Some people think giving back is about money and that is not always the case. Don't be ashamed if you can't make monetary donations because you can donate your time. Some organizations have funding but don't have manpower. Volunteer your time or donate your lightly used clothes to churches/shelters. It costs you nothing but a few days a month to serve as a big brother or big sister and you could change someone's life. I encourage all of you to find a way to give back. I can personally testify that making a difference in someone else's life is a blessing unmatched by any amount of money I have seen in my lifetime. 


If you have free time and you are not giving back in some way SHAME.ON.YOU. 

The People v. Lebron: 4 Reasons People Hate on Kang James

Right now, Lebron James is one of the most hated athletes in the world.

After the Miami Heat beat OKC Thunder last evening, the Lebron hate was at an all-time high. I'm sure it was because people realized Bron Bron is closer than he's ever been to getting a ring. I was not out at a bar watching the game but I saw Facebook and twitter updates. People don't want to see Lebron be great. 


Full Disclosure: I am a Lebron James fan. I say that proudly. I do not lend my fan-dom to any NBA team. I prefer college sports anyway. I grew up in Palm Beach County, Florida where Miami Heat fans dominate the sportsbar scene. I am not a Miami Heat fan. Never have been. I support the Miami Heat because Lebron is a member of their team. 


 The hatred for Lebron has gotten out of hand. 


I find the vitriol "haters" throw his way disturbing. People are saying its borderline distrubing and borderline bothersome. Its not borderline anything...its full blown.You can say I'm jaded by my fan-dom but thats just your denial. People are wishing for career ending injuries and praying for him to lose. Where they do that at? Its just not healthy. People need to chill. I wouldn't be surprised if people had shrines dedicated to Lebron's demise. Then, theres this kid who had a meltdown after game 3. There is also a website, Ihatelebronjames.com that is dedicated to hating on Lebron James. 


What is wrong with you people? What did Lebron do to ya'll?


The hatred for Lebron is personal <---that doesn't make ANY sense. Why? You can't personally hate people who don't know you. If Lebron wouldn't know you if he passed you on the street its time to hang up the personal attacks. What is the point of hating when the person doesn't give two f*cks about your hatred? Do you think you could meet Lebron and tell him you're the President of the "I hate Lebron" club and he's going to be bothered? He will probably feel sorry you're wasting your life hating on him. Hell, I don't even know the haters and I feel sorry for them. He's going to get in his $400,000 car, drive to his $5 Million home and sleep in his $50,000 bed. Whats your life like? 


Every move he makes is criticized. Everything he says is cast in a negative light to keep the hatred going. Everything he does is wrong. Every move he makes is a misstep. He can't even catch a cramp without eliciting some criticism. Anyone who has played sports knows how painful a cramp can be. Lebron is not human so he should not be getting cramps, right? Oh, and every loss his team endures is his fault. 


All in all, it seems everyone cites the same sorry ass 4 reasons as justification for why they don't like Lebron. 

4. They need SOMEONE to Hate On. Its no secret haters are unhappy with their miserable lives. Happy people don't have time to hate on others. Lebron Haters have too much time on their hands. Its interesting how you can ask some people why they hate on Lebron and they don't have a unique answer. They try to ignore his stats and multiple MVP seasons. These people need someone to hate on to make themselves feel better. Lebron happens to be their subject of choice. Shit is sad as f*ck, man. 


3. Lack of Self-Actualization. Lack of personal fulfillment is a real struggle. What do you do when you realize you are failing at life? The answer for Lebron haters is to hate on Lebron. I bet some of the Lebron haters look at Lebron and think they could have been just as good as him if they were given a chance. A good portion of them are former basketball players who didn't make it past the county basketball league. They think they should have a sneaker deal instead of selling sneakers at Foot Locker. They had talent. They had potential. They had an agent who believed in them. Things just didn't add up for them. Instead of trying to seek their real purpose in life, they would rather hate on the person who seems to have everything they believe they should have. Pitiful. 

2. Lebron James is Cocky.  Some haters say they don't like Lebron because he didn't earn his title as "The King." Its obvious these people don't know the real story behind that nickname. First, Lebron did not dub himself "The King." Before Lebron entered the league, the media was pumping up stories of him being the greatest player. He had a Nike shoe deal before he even played his first game. There were commercials calling him great before he had an opportunity to prove himself. None of this was his doing. 


Those same haters who say "Oh I don't like Lebron because he's too cocky" would say "I don't like Lebron because he's too humble." You can't win with some people.  Its ok as long as everyone else does it but as soon as Lebron does it, all hell has to break loose. People want Lebron to be great but not talk shit about it. They want him to make impossible shots and be demure. They want to immortalize him in commercials and posters while expecting him to be conservative. Even neighborhood players on the blacktop aren't humble. That is what basketball is about: talking shit and being cocky. 


1. The Decision. This is unequivocally the number 1 reason people cite as their reason for hating on Lebron.  Ever since he left Cleveland, people have had this deep-seated hatred for Lebron. What did he do that was so awful? He saw an opportunity and he went for it. He saw a better chance for him to win a title and he took it. He has never kept silent about his quest to win championships. 


Instead of acknowledging how the media hyped it up people focus on Lebron's role. The media didn't HAVE to pick it up. They didn't have to advertise so much about it. Haters say it was over the top, unnecessary, ridiculous, and COCKY. "The nerve of Lebron to think he could call a press conference to announce where he was going to play ball." NEWSFLASH: You watched it. Companies bought ads. Lebron didn't owe Cleveland anything. He still doesn't. I know he was their franchise player and he's from Akron. Save that argument. Just because its your hometown it doesn't mean you owe it to them to throw your potential away. 


I think the REAL problem is that Lebron chose to be proactive about his career path. People wouldn't have a problem if he was traded against his will because then "it is what it is." If he was underperforming or got injured the owners would not care about him. If the tables were turned and Lebron was traded he would be the subject of one of those "wasted potential" stories. He gave Cleveland 7 years and took them deeper into the post season than they would have ever gone without him. Now that the Cavs do not have Lebron James, they are like the Temptations without David Ruffin---->a team LOOKING for a Lebron James. 


I can grasp people from Cleveland being upset because of the way he left but I don't understand why it seems everyone outside of Miami is still holding a grudge. Lebron is not the first person to leave Cleveland and he won't be the last. Some won't even acknowledge how he donated the proceeds from advertisements to several charities.  His desire to win can't be denied. He took a pay cut to play in Miami.  


People forget Lebron is only 26 years old. At 26, I can't imagine having to deal with the stuff Lebron endures on a daily basis. Some of ya'll are still struggling with the way you were treated in high school 10 or 20 years ago. Half of ya'll can't handle a subtweet or an honest reference to your ugly outfit. 

You can hate on Lebron and the Miami Heat all you want, but  they deserve to win the title. If hating on Lebron and the Heat is the highlight of your day, your life sucks.  Thats right, you have a suck-y life. 5-10 years from now when he has had a full opportunity to exceed all expectations, the Lebron haters will realize they latched on to the wrong cause. I hope Lebron wins umpteen championships & becomes the most unstoppable and feared player in the league. I say that not only as a fan but as someone who wants to see him go even further than anyone has ever imagined if only for the sake of showing people how ridiculous they are. 


Oh, Laker fans I see ya'll. Get your predictable ass arguments about Lebron having 1 ring and Kobe having 5 rings ready. So typical. So original. 


Just get over yourselves. 

Adidas, Your LACK of Diversity Is Showing!

After a  public outcry about the design of their "shackle" shoes, Adidas decided to cancel the release. The shoe features affixed rubber shackles, which some referred to as "slave shackles" while others called them "prison shackles." Aside from all of that, the shoes are just ugly as all f*cks. For $350? GTFOH!

Jesse Jackson had this to say: "The attempt to commercialize and make popular more than 200 years of human degradation, where blacks were considered three-fifths human by our Constitution is offensive, appalling and insensitive." I won't go so far as to say Adidas wanted to make slavery popular again (and blacks were not and still are not the only ones who were enslaved), but it does reflect poorly on the company. 


I, for one, am a retired "sneaker head(a person who collects limited, rare, OG, or flat out exclusive kicks)" but I know what its like to want that unique shoe. A person who has never been a sneaker head/fiend/addict will not understand this. Its a great feeling for a sneaker head to get compliments from other sneaker heads about his/her  "shoe game." Being a sneaker head is all about the competition. You want your shoe collection to feature more unique shoes, more eye catching shoes and more "exclusive" shoes than the collection of anyone else who dare call themselves a sneaker head. 


You're probably asking why the f*ck I just shared that. Keep reading, I promise I'm going somewhere with this. 


Adidas and Jeremy Scott, the shoe's designer, have been creating some whacky shoes as of late. Just check out these, these and these. At first glance, I thought they were another attempt for Adidas to create some more ugly ass shoes. It was not until I took a second look that I saw the chain hanging from the yellow "strap" and wondered WTF Adidas was thinking. 


What was the thought process behind creating them? The caption below the now-controversial advertising photo posted to the company's Facebook page read, "Got a sneaker game so hot you lock your kicks to your ankles?" What? Lock your kicks to your ankles? Really Adidas? FAIL! 


Women are known for wearing crazy and whacky shoes and some of them have a similar disconnected shackle look, but you don't see Giuseppe marketing these ankle strap shoes as "shackles." Adidas, your lack of diversity is showing. 


I bet JS thought he was continuing his streak of being so "different." He thought that every sneaker head in the world would want them. I wouldn't be surprised if Adidas pulled this whole thing as a publicity stunt knowing damned well they were never planning to release them. By any means necessary, right? Its not like enough people offended by this would actually resolve not to support Adidas anymore after this fustercluck. *sarcasm* 


It seems to me like Adidas is shocked by the public outcry. The nerve of Adidas to underestimate the power of consumers on social networks. This is what happens when the perspective of minorities is not present in the board room. Adidas released a statement defending the designer Jeremy Scott, saying he has a "quirky" and "lighthearted" style. NEWSFLASH Adidas, there is nothing lighthearted about shoes with shackles on them. There is nothing quirky about shoes with shackles on them. I'm no genius but I know Jeremy designed these ugly ass shoes and thought he was gonna ride the wave to the top. I won't go so far as to say he should be fired but the designer and everyone who gave the go-ahead throughout the creative process needs to face some repurcusions. 


If there is one thing this situation should show us is the importance of having a diverse staff. This is obviously something Adidas hasn't taken seriously. This is why diversity matters. Perhaps they have African Americans on their staff who warned them about the potential of the shoe's design to evoke images of slavery. Perhaps they did not listen because that person's rank wasn't high enough to matter. 


I'm glad the shoes won't be released because I know people would buy them just for the sake of saying they have them. I'm afraid the domino effect of that would be more companies creating insensitive materials just to test consumer tolerance. I hope Adidas learned their lesson and, in the process, showed other companies the types of products they should snuff while they're still on the cutting floors. 

The Morning After: 5 Things #BlackTwitter Taught Me About Father's Day

Oh, you're offended because the title insinuates twitter has racial partitions? 
It does.
Get over it.
There is also:
Unemployed Twitter.
Can't spell for shit Twitter.
Glitter Twitter.
Groupie Twitter.
And the list goes on.

Black Twitter felt different yesterday.

I am in no way saying the black community suffers any more on Father's Day than the white, asian or spanish communities. Every community has outliers they are not proud of but our "fatherhood" struggles are more widely explored. Also, the struggles of the black community are the only struggles I can speak about with any ounce of scorn or reverence because it is the only community I really know. If you're looking for someone of one racial background who goes around pontificating bullshit about what they learned from a book or study abroad interaction with another race, you're on the wrong blog.

For the most part, my twitter timeline is pretty predictable. I know who the assholes are. I know who the comedians are. I know who the drama queens and aspiring models are. I know who is most likely to retweet (share) things that are not suitable for work. I know the people with real jobs who can't tweet from work and the people who tweet to get thru the work day. 

I like feeling like I know everyone, even if I only know the kind of twitter account they maintain. It is part of what makes twitter so great, for me. My twitter has boring days, days where all of my followers tickle my funny bone and all kinds of days in between. 

I know why twitter was different yesterday: Father's Day was yesterday. (Duh, right?) Like most things, social media interactions took Father's Day to another level. It was like a sensory overload. In 140 characters or less, people praised their fathers and professed their love for them. There were twitpics and Instagram photos of "throwback" and present moments captured with the tweeter's father. It was, in a word: Heartwarming. 

While single mothers step up to the plate in the father's absence, nothing compares to the impact of having a committed father or father figure. The man who stuck around, protected you and comforted you filled a space a single mother could never fulfill. No disrespect to single mothers tho. Never any room for disrespecting single mothers. Hallmark's Mahogany line of greeting cards even acknowledges them on Father's Day (see right).

Full Disclosure: I follow 211 people. That sample is a mix of people I met while in law school, in college and people I have known since before high school. I also have a few random twitter friends. 98% of the people I follow are black. I consider myself a user of black twitter. I've tried to jump ship a few times, but my applications to join other factions of Twitter were denied. Although my sample size is small, I'm confident my experience on black twitter yesterday can be shared by many. In case you can't tell, twitter is my bottom b*tch in the world of social networks.  

Yesterday I learned a few things from #blacktwitter. Like to know what they are? Here it goes... 

 5. People WANT Father's Day to be Positive.  I thought Father's Day was gonna get ugly on twitter. I expected to see people talking about how terrible their father was. Those people were around, but they didn't get much shine. I expected to see women going off about their "daddy issues." I saw that too, but that wasn't the prevalent tone of my timeline.

 4. The Black Family is Alive and Well. When the media wants to tear us down or create a divide, the first thing they attack is the black family unit. Their attacks on our "church" is a post for another day. Yesterday, my timeline was snatched by people who praised their father (and other fathers in their family) for holding their families together. Some gave specific examples while others spoke generally about their dads awesome-ness. It was remarkable.

This leads me to...

3. Everyone on #BlackTwitter Thinks Their Dad is "The Greatest Dad in the World." Pair this with #blackfemaletwitter where every girl thinks she is the biggest daddy's girl ever. Whether they said it to be boastful or they really believe it, the general consensus yesterday was that everyone's dad is the greatest. There are millions of great dads out there and if your dad is the closest thing to a God then so be it. If he's your hero, let him be that. If he taught you how to be a real man or how to carry yourself as a "lady," give him credit. It is important for us to internalize great BLACK fathers still exist.  

2. Father Figures Don't Get Enough Recognition. Father figures are sensational people. They are coaches, teachers, band directors, step fathers, older brothers, uncles, cousins and grandfathers who step up and impact lives. Stepping into the role of a father figure is not an easy decision.  They don't always realize their significance because ya hardly ever get to see the fruits of your labor.  They do it because it is the right thing to do.  Father figures deserve to be recognized and appreciated just as much as biological fathers. This is especially true in the black community. Being a black man in America is one of the hardest things to do. Its such an insurmountable task most black men can't even help you relate to it. In fact, the only people who can appreciate it intimately and holistically are other black men.  Black men care, ya'll. Give them their props. 

1. Father's Day is a Day of Forgiveness. People make mistakes. With every new day you are blessed with life, you have an opportunity to be the bigger person and try to make things right. #Blacktwitter taught me Father's Day is one of those special days that makes reconnecting easier. The window of opportunity is pretty much wide open. If there is a father figure or anyone in your life who has not lived up to your standards, forgive them. Communicate your disappointment and your desire to have a solid relationship. Holding a grudge doesn't get you anywhere. It blocks your blessings. Extend an olive branch and attempt to rebuild that relationship. Stop waiting for them to do it. It won't be perfect but that is what makes life interesting. 

Well thats what I learned from black twitter yesterday. How was your Father's Day? Did you have any "ah ha" moments yesterday? Talk to me.

Happy Father's Day

First Lady Michelle Obama wishes a happy Father's Day to all the dads out there and shares why President Obama is a great dad. Take a peek below...

When I look at President Obama and I see the way he interacts with his family it makes me feel a little bit closer to the man behind the title. I may not always support his decisions or his meticulous political moves but I salute him for the man he has become. He could have done like some and used the lack of a father as an excuse to be an awful one but he has done the opposite. To think about his story and how far he has come is such an inspiration to me and many others. I salute him for that.

 ***

Now, can we all join together and decide to stop wishing mothers a Happy Father's Day? One greeting card company decided to take it a bit further and create cards for mothers on Father's Day. I get what they meant but I want it to stop. I know there are single mothers out there playing both roles but the father role is one that can only be filled by a man. Regardless of biological connection, only a man can be a father. I understand the symbolism behind it but doing so is an indirect jab at fathers who are not present. This day is about positivity. While I believe those "sperm donors" need to be put on front street to hopefully get them to step up, this day is not about them. This day is about the men who have accepted their responsibility and answered the call of fatherhood. This day is about the men who do not look for any certificates or accolades or recognition. This day is about the real fathers and their children who look up to them as their heroes. The men who have shaped their kids' lives, regardless of biological connection. This is a day of celebration. Don't give a deadbeat the satisfaction of a diss. Save it for child support court appearances. Happy Father's Day to all of the REAL fathers out there! Peace and love to all of you!

A Father's Day "Open Letter"

Father's Day on Facebook is coming.

Ahhhh Father's Day. The day where deadbeats are bashed and real fathers are resolved to receiving ugly ties and hand written cards. Its a day of reflection for people who have lost their dads to death or deadbeatassness. Its a day of gloating for self-proclaimed "Daddy's Girls."

For Facebook users, its a day of uploading showy pics featuring elaborately simple Father's Day meals, gifts and long status updates about fathers from all walks of life.

So, before ya'll get carried away with celebrating stealing my spotlight, I want to celebrate my own.

Some of you reading this know me personally. I imagine based upon my page view counts many of you do not.
I am:
A child of God.
26.
A lawyer trained by Howard University.
A native Floridian.
A DC resident.
Single.
Childless.
Underemployed.
High-spirited.

There. Now that we have that out of the way. Here is my open letter to my pops:

Dear Daddy,

I love you. I know that is a blessing to be able to say because I have met women (who are successful and sane, take that media!) who cannot say that. Its amazing how other people can help you see your blessings. Having you around was a "given" for me. I never questioned whether you would keep your word and show up to my countless events. From beauty pageants, to honor roll breakfasts, to debutante balls to graduations, it meant so much to look out and see you in the audience. "My daddy came to see me," is what I would say. You and my mom are not married so I imagine I miss that level of the connection with you but that does not make you any less great. Great is what you are. Great is what you have always been. I salute you for not being absent when you could have made excuses. I thank you for always treating my mom with love and respect.

We made promises to each other. Promises that I have broken but you have not. You always kept your word. You are quietly confident and a source of my strength. I thank God that I cannot think of ONE time you were not there for me. When everyone thought a little girl from Belle Glade was a mere "dreamer" for wanting to become a judge, you encouraged me. You told me I could do anything I put my mind to and you have been there to support me every step of the way. When it was time for college, you drove me. When I needed school supplies, you equipped me. When I decided to go to my dream law school over 1000 miles away, you packed up 2 cars and relocated me.

I can feel your prayers for me. You have supported, loved and encouraged me unconditionally without expecting anything in return. In a world where everyone is out for themselves, that has made all the difference to me. Thank you.

Although I am not there to spend father's day with you, I want you to know I take you with me everywhere I go. You are in the way I speak. Your teachings are in the way I carry myself as a woman. You are the reason I am the woman I am today. My love for traveling and exploring comes from you. My sense of adventure (even though you don't understand why I want to skydive lol) comes from you.
My confidence, my sense of security and my "good hair" is part of me because of who you are.

I am me because you are you. Even when I could not wrap my head around the truth, you were honest with me. When I marry, I pray for a husband who is half the man you are. When I have children, I hope my children's father molds them the way you have helped to mold me. I am blessed. If God blesses me with a son, I hope he's like my daddy.

There was a time when I struggled with balancing my adulthood and being a little girl in your eyes. That time has passed. I am happy being both. As long as God blesses me with the gift of life, I will be your little girl.

Happy Father's Day Daddy.

I love you.

KeeK's Dating Adventures: Episode 1

Dating in DC is a monster.

Wait. Let me rephrase that.
Being black and dating in DC is a monster.
Hold your racial slurs and concerns for me making this "about race."

Between the 9 area law schools, federal government jobs, company headquarter jobs and sadiddy neighborhood names the showy black scene will turn even the most civilized woman into a man-hungry savage.

Reduced to a mere numbers game, the black dating scene in DC is not one for the faint of heart.

Nevertheless, the showy-ness is just like I like it: on front street. The showy blacks shop at Whole Foods and Trader Joes while snarking at people who don't eat "all organic everything." They get cheap food and drinks at trendy happy hours like Bar 7, Acadiana or Zengo. They have degrees from Howard, Harvard, Georgetown, Cornell and Columbia. They turn up their noses at anything non-showy.

Men capitalize on their single, attractive, educated, 6 figure salary-ness while women struggle to navigate a dating scene where its VERY possible (and acceptable) for them to pay on a first date. Thats that sh*t I don't like.

"Most relationships begin with a random strike of serendipity" is what I told myself. I'm only slightly awkward.

Wait. Where was I?
Ah yes, my dating adventures.

This post is dedicated to everyone who has heard my dating stories and encouraged me. "Wow! You should write a book." Well, consider this the first step. I suppose my choice to share these stories speaks volumes about my dating life and about my judgment but eh I don't care.

"The Chipotle Caller"

Where we met: A Chipotle in the Georgetown area of DC. It was 3:30pm. It was Thursday. One person stood between us in line. As I made my way to pay, he skipped the woman between us to ask me "Hey is all of that your real hair? Its beautiful" It quickly donned on me that was *Tyson's pickup line. I paid for my food and walked to over to get napkins and utensils. Suddenly, I didn't feel like risking a parking ticket to eat inside.

The Number Exchange:
He stepped into my path as I attempted to make my exit.
Tyson: "So can I call you sometime?"
Me: "No thats probably not a good idea. You look pretty young & I don't date younger guys" What I expected was an acceptance followed by a schmoove exit. What I GOT was a rebuttal.
Tyson: "I'm 24 and I know thats young but all you have to do is just give me a chance. I'm young but I'm ambitious and I know I'm going to be successful."

**I'm pretty sure he said much more but I found myself lost in his freshly gel-twisted hair. I daydreamed about him sitting under a dryer with his legs crossed reading Black Hair.**


Me: (in my head) is this fool serving me a rebuttal? He's serving me a rebuttal and giving me logic inside of a Chipotle. And we don't even go together. 

Somehow I decided giving him my number would at least be an opportunity for me to go out on the town. BIG mistake. I didn't like him. I wasn't interested in him. I already knew I would never become intimate with him. I should have communicated this to him right then and there. Big mistake #2.

The 2am Phone Call: 
That same night he called me at 2:08am and 2:10am. Strikes 1 and 2.
I woke up annoyed later that day. I hate waking up annoyed.

He must have had a late-night emergency and chose me as his desperate call, right? WRONG. He called me at those times because he was "Bored and wanted to come over and chill." Judgment. Who "chills" at 2am? People who really want a quick smash thats who.


The Wrap up: 
Fast forward to a week after we met. I was still annoyed. I was still not interested. It was time to cut ties. At this point I have already wasted too much time. After a text where I explained I was busy prepping our house for a cookout, he called me 5 times (yes FIVE) within a 15 minute time span. Another emergency, you think? Hell no. I had one nerve left and he was stomping all over that one. my skin crawled as he explained he wanted something different each time he called. Without hesitation, he named all 5 things. Guess what he really wanted? To come over and chill with me and my family.

I hear you saying "Ain't nothing wrong with that." Well, aint nobody got time for that and there IS something wrong with that. His b2b2b2b2b phone calls let me know he doesn't have any patience or self-control. He knew I was busy, but he decided he would call until I answered my phone. To me, thats disrespectful. One phone call is all it takes. I will see it and return your call at MY earliest convenience. He doesn't know exactly what I was busy doing so a simple text message would have sufficed. I felt smothered and I had to let it go. His only explanation was "I missed you. I missed your smile." Too many red flags. We never made it out on our first date.


What I learned:
Dating is about being receptive to other people and communicating who you are. Through the "Chipotle Caller" I recognized my reluctance to tell people when they have made me feel uncomfortable or smothered. Too, I saw how I allow my anger to fester rather than addressing the source of my anger. I'm not sure if my reaction would have been different if I actually liked him, tho.


People always ask me "Where do you meet these men?!"  This week my answer is Chipotle. I meet them at Chipotle. 


Until next Thursday...

*Names have been changed to protect the guilty.