As soon as I posted this on Tuesday I remembered another story I've been meaning to share. A few weeks ago I went out with a friend of mine. I'm always going out with a friend ain't I? Don't judge me. People like me. For the sake of preserving his identity, we're gonna call this friend Joey. Joey and I decided to spend a night out on the town in honor of his two female friends who were in town. I had never met them and I had no expectations of them. My goal was to have a good time.
Fast Forward 1/2 way thru the night and one of Joey's friends, Tony, is wasted. The kind of wasted where all you can do is close your eyes and rest your head on the table. He was so far gone he didn't even bother to lift his head when his food arrived. Don't act like you've never been there. I was just there a few weeks ago. It happens. I let Joey entertain his little friends and, since none of the other boys seemed to care, I took it upon myself to tend to Tony. I tapped him every few minutes and told him to drink water and eat some of his food. Nothing spectacular. Joey's friends ate most of Tony's food and told him to get up and walk around so many times that I finally said, "NO. Tony is fine where he is" and prompted him to drink more water.
A few moments later, as if on queue, girl #1 walked to the bathroom and Joey went to check on another drunk friend. Girl #2 jumped at the opportunity to ask me a question I could tell was burning through her spotted throat. She asked me whether I had a problem with either of them. I knew it was on me to lead the tone of the discussion. I looked at her with the "WTF face" and asked her what she meant by "problem." Aside from the aforementioned statement, I had not interacted with them beyond the introduction. There were 4 other people at our table and although they were new to me, we pre-gamed together so compared to the new chicks we were old friends. As Joey returned to our table, I made it clear I did not have a problem with them and that I was there as Joey's guest NOT Tony's. I smiled a wry smile as Joey grabbed my hand & asked me whether everything was ok. I told him yes and smiled the kind of smile women smile at men they can't wait to straddle. I gave that answer to fuck with her head. It worked. I knew what was going on as soon as we made eye contact. She thought she was gonna set me straight because they thought I was "picking" on them. Silly girl. For those who don't know, "picking" is a practice of petty females that involves using sneaky tactics to make fun of another woman. In this situation, I would have been "picking" when I stepped in and told them to leave Tony alone. I know it doesn't make much sense. It never will.
The girls left our company and they made it clear they were not happy. As we walked to our next bar (yes, we were still in the mood to party) I told Joey what happened and he was shocked. "Are you serious? I didn't know those girls were like that." He struggled to understand. Guys always do. He didn't think his female friends were catty or petty. He didn't think they would complain about his new friend (me) not putting forth a strong enough effort to get to know them. That is, until they were. Why were they that way? There are 10 reasons black women are mean for reasons that appear unknown.
10. She's Insecure. It takes a real woman to compliment another woman. Insecure woman struggle with this.
9. Her Hidden Desires. She she secretly wants to be LIKE you. She wants your wardrobe, your friends, your relationship, your car, your man and your bank account. Stay woke.
8. She's pre-empting. She wants to be mean to you before you have the chance to be mean to her.
7. She's Having a Bad Day. Sometimes people just don't want to be bothered. If you ignore the signs, you deserve what you get.
6. She's tired. A tired black woman ain't nothin to fuck with.
5. She Doesn't Like You. Some black women aren't good at frontin. Ain't no future in it anyway. If she doesn't like you, everything about you annoys her. Stay outta her face.
4. She's a Bitch. I don't like calling women bitches, but let's face it some women are bitches on purpose. No sense in trying to justify their actions. Call a spade a spade.
3. She's in Pain. Remember, Hurt people HURT people. Don't punch her in the throat...hug her.
2. She's Jealous. You have awesome tits and irrisistible wits who wouldn't be jealous of you?
1. It's a Self-fulfilling Prophecy: If you treat her like she's an angry black woman, she just might become one.
Before you get your thongs in a tizzy, I wrote this because I think it needed to be said. Angry black women need love too. They also need a therapist and friends willing to tell them the naked truth. Sometimes it's ok to be mean because some people can't handle nice. Don't go out of your way to be mean or rude tho. I want little more than to see black women building it each other up. We're quick to tear down and slow to encourage. We're quick to hurt and slow to heal. We're quick to break and slow to fix. It's almost like some of us take some pleasure in seeing another being kicked while she's down. Am I not my sister's keeper?
So whadya think? Am I being too hard on my sistas? Did I miss any reasons black women, or women in general, are mean? Raine is listening.
Email: TalentedGeneration@gmail.com
