This post is for everyone considering eliminating a few people from their inner circle in the approaching new year. I see your Facebook and Twitter updates, "I'm eliminating a few people from my inner circle in 2012." I know people are reflecting on the type of year they had and concluding that its time to eliminate dead weight.
What is dead weight?
I'm glad you asked!
Dead weight is those people who are not adding anything to your life, but think its ok to subtract a few things. I understand the feeling as I have felt it myself. You must assess the people you allow around you on a regular basis because some people change and some people stay the same.
While you are still YOU at your core, you are not the same person you were in high school. Some people are still the same person they were in high school. These people are still running popularity contests and trying to amass the most friends. They are not focused on the character of the people, just their presence. They want to party with 300 people on their birthday who don't even know their middle name or favorite color rather than spending it with 3 people who were there when times were dark. Don't be that person.
Be the person who is not afraid to classify relationships as they are. If someone is not your bff, don't force it and don't lie about it. Its ok if you only have one near and dear friend. As we get older, people will leave and you will realize they are not meant to be in your life for a lifetime, but a mere season. Don't try to force people to stick around who constantly show you they don't want to be near you. If you deem it necessary, eliminate those people without burning a bridge.
In the video below, Bishop T.D. Jakes shares a very powerful message about assessing the people in your life. His message is to watch out NOT for the physical attributes of a person, but to seek out their character. Ya'll don't hear me.
Bishop's 3 basic types of friends:
1. Confidant: These people are FOR you. You will have very few of these. They are those people who love you unconditionally. They are in it with you regardless of whether you are up or down, right or wrong. These are the people you can share anything with.
2. Constituents: They are not for you. They are for what you are for. These people will leave you if they meet someone who can further their cause, they will abandon you. Do not mistake your constituents for your confidantes.
3. Comrades. These people are not for you. NOR are they for what you are for, it is just that they are against what you are against. They will team up with you to help fight a greater enemy. Don't be confused, they will only be there until the enemy is defeated. You can expect them to leave you after a while.
Be careful who you tell your dream to! Everyone around you is not FOR you!
Here is a quick test: When you share your good news with your "friends" stop being happy for a moment and take note of their reaction. If you do not see a genuinely happy expression on their face, its time to stop sharing your dreams with them.
Remember people want to see you to good, they just don't want you to do better than them.
Keep winning.
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