For the FREAK In You: Machine Gun Kelly is WILD About Black Women With "Brains"

BallerAlert.com caught up with Machine Gun Kelly on the Red Carpet of the BET awards and he was ready to give us all something to talk about. The self proclaimed "wild boy" says he loves black women, has a mixed child and also thinks black women give the best head. The tatted rapper stood proud as he admitted, "Black girls give the best head...a hunnid percent." The jokes write themselves. 

I don't know this kid. I just Googled him and found his music. None of that matters anymore. The rapper known as Machine Gun Kelly officially gave black women "brain" his stamp of approval. Oh, the irony!! 

Sh*t Bougie Blacks Do

DC is the bougie black capital of the world. Bougie blacks run amock in DC. They're at brunch every weekend, driving used Audi A8s, eating at trendy restaurants with Groupon deals and attending alternative music festivals. While perusing YouTube last evening, I stumbled upon the gem below.

I'm not saying the video is spot on, but the video is SPOT.ON. Trust me, I know bougie black girls. I'm not one of them. Still, the video made me think about some of the things bougie blacks do. Indulge and judge with me. 

Hand out Business Cards. Perhaps this is just a regional thing, but bougie blacks in DC love to hand out their business cards at times that don't even call for business cards. Sit yo pretentious ass down. 

Become friends with OTHER bougie blacks. What other way to justify the bougie shit they do than to hang around other bougie blacks who will co-sign on bougie shit? Oh, you only eat white cheese? Oh, you only go to clubs if you're in VIP?

Brag about their weave. "Girl this is virgin malaysian hair. It cost me $400 an ounce."

Brag about being natural. Bougie blacks who are natural LOVE to brag about it. They love showing off their natural styles and talking about the products they use. They complain about being natural while putting other women down who still get perms and wear weaves. 

Deny Being Bougie. "I'm not bougie" is the calling card of every bougie person. Don't let them tell you anything different. They live in a bougie neighborhood, eat lunch with bougie people and snark at the first person who calls them bougie.

Walk around in Gym Clothes. She hasn't been to the gym all year but everytime you see her out and about she's in yoga pants and Vibrams. He can't even play basketball but he's always in basketball shorts and a t-shirt. 

Use "ratchet" to describe EVERYTHING."Her shoes are so ratchet" or "That club was so ratchet" or "Our waiter is so ratchet."  Halle Berry in B.A.P.S.? Ratchet. 

Brag about their "diverse" music catalogue. Oh, all you listen to is rap and hip-hop? You're not bougie. Real bougie blacks listen to 2Chainz and Sade; Jeezy and Amel Larrieux; Blueprint 1 Jay-Z and Blueprint 3 Jay-Z. 

Support alternative sports. Bougie blacks like basketball and football but its important that people know they also like soccer, tennis, baseball, rugby and lacrosse.  

Brag about their love for International Food. Oh, you love Thai and Japanese food? 

All of this AND they actually swim at pool parties. 

Well there you have it. If you're bougie, embrace it. If you're not, you're hood. Thats just the way the world works. You can't be bougie and hood at the same time. If we allowed for that, we would have to open Pandora's box of exceptions. That won't happen. Don't look down on other people who wear their bougie on their sleeve. Don't judge people who wear their hood on their sleeve (or on their face). It IS possible to become bougie. If you're not bougie but you want to be, consider picking up some of the habits above. You're welcome. 

A NEW Reality: DC Strippers Want a Show Too

The reality show money train is still rollin. This time the train made a stop in DC. Strip Club Queens tells the story of 5 strippers who will live their "real life" in front of a lens. Peep their trailer below. WARNING: The footage is NFW!

Shot on location in DC featuring the famous Stadium Club, the series will follow Miami,  Lona, Ally, Illy and Cierra as they show strip club goers and aspiring strippers alike what its REALLY like to be a naked hustler. Viewers will see their sacrifices, the allure of the strip club game, and the girls' journey to find a way out. Can we get a show about recent grads tryna pay back Sallie Mae doe?

Seems like the same drama we've all come to expect with a touch of nudity and another bunch of women who don't care about fighting on screen. Considering the recent rise in the fascination with the strip club life, I think the show will get picked up. I've been to Stadium once or twice and the faces look familiar so I'll be watching (LOL!) Will you be watching?

KeeK's Dating Adventures: Episode 3

When you're single and open to dating in DC you have to be open to meeting people in places where you wouldn't expect to meet them. I expect to meet people at a bar for happy hour. I expect to meet people at networking events. I expect to meet people when I go places expecting to meet people. 


The DC Metro is one of those places I do not expect to meet new people. People intentionally appear unavailable. Mattafack, I rarely hear any conversation on the metro. Metro riders plug their ears and tune out.  No one makes eye contact except people looking for a friend. 

"The Metro Marathoner"

Where we met: On the Redline metro. I was leaving an impromptu brunch meet-up and he was dressed in marathon garb. We were both wearing skeletoes shoes. 


The Number Exchange
Anyone who owns a pair of "toe sneakers" knows they are a great conversation starter. We laughed about people's fascination with them for 2 stops and we both needed to transfer. He shared information about the next marathon and said we should train together. I knew he didn't just want to train and he knew I knew, but I gave *Tyler my number anyway. 


The Experience
Tyler was an avid runner who was very dedicated to being fit. The morning after we met he sent me a shirtless picture and addressed it to his queen. I didn't complain. Tyler didn't eat pork (strike 1). We met up a few times to run together before going on our official first date. He ran shirtless. It was thru Tyler I realized how I hate running with other people. 


We went to dinner at Zengo. It was on a Wednesday at 7pm. We both put effort into our looks but were dressed casually. The conversation was interesting. We chatted for 30 minutes while I sipped on a mango mojito. Tyler made it a point to emphasize how he didn't date much because he wanted to find his queen. His submissive queen. His stay at home and make babies queen. His cooking and cleaning queen. His content with her life queen. I found myself staring at him. He stared back at me. 
He asked, "Why are you staring at me? Do you like what you see?"
"Actually, I don't." I responded with a smirk.
"Do I have somethin in my teeth?" he asked, pulling out his iPhone to check.
I assured him he did not but confessed, "I have to tell you somethin. Don't think I'm rude." 
"I know you're sassy. Theres nothin you can tell me to hurt my feelings," he said. I could tell he had no idea what I was about to say. 
"Do you always relate everything in life to running? Is that what you mostly talk about with your friends?" I asked sincerely. 
"Well I don't have many friends. I kind of stick to myself," he said with a curious look on his face
I could tell he was trying to figure out my point. Poor kid looked really concerned. 
"Do you know how women have these rules about dating? And how they are willing to make exceptions for a dude they're actually interested in?" I asked as I tried to ease up to my point. 
"Well yea. Everybody knows that. Like if the guy she doesn't like calls all the time she complains but if the guy she actually likes does the same its ok" he said proudly. 
I took a deep breath and let it out, "You aren't the dude I would make exceptions for. I don't think we could work. I hope find your queen."
I don't know where the words came from but they flowed from my lips effortlessly. I frantically searched for a reaction from him trying to hide my concern for how my words affected him. 
"Do you really mean that? You don't see a future with me?"  he asked after he paused for a few moments. 
"Are you serious about only wanting a woman who will be completely submissive to you?" 
"Yes. I think it takes a real woman to completely submit." 
"Well theres your answer. I'm not the queen you're looking for." I walked away from the date assured that I had done the right thing. 


What I learned:
Don't give men on the metro my number. Sike! Nah I'm kidding. I walked away from dinner that night feeling free. I realize now what I said wasn't ideal but the gesture was a big move for me. It was important for me not to waste time. I didnt see it for Tyler and it wouldn't take another date for me to see that. I didn't see the point of pretending I felt a romantic chemistry with him. *Shrug* Until next week. 


*Names have been changed to protect the guilty. 

Independence Day Jam Alert: 5 Dances You NEED to Learn

HAPPY JULY 4th Everyone! 

There are few things worse than a midweek holiday. Where the hell are those people who manipulate our clocks and calendars? You mean to tell me we put men on the moon and a rover on Mars but we can't move July 4 to a Friday? I'ont believe it. Anywho, today is still the day white people in America celebrate Independence day. Oh yea, I read books so I know there were no considerations for the negroes in that Declaration of Independence. 

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."

Click here for a refresher on why the post offices are closed and some people have another excuse to send a mass text.   


In the spirit of spending the day having fun with people you love, here are 5 dances every person should know before venturing to a hip-hop cookout. Don't worry, its still early so you have plenty of time to learn! 


1. The Electric Slide. 

This song is a basic essential for all African Americans. You will see what I meant if you watch the dance steps from videos 2, 3 and 4. 

2. The Cha Cha Slide

This is a mutation of the electric slide. The instructions are clear and the beat is pretty slow. If you get this one wrong, you might need to enroll in the school of dance for dummies. Ok I totally made up that name, but you get my drift. 


3. The Cupid Shuffle

Another variation of the electric slide. With instructions. 


4.  The Wobble

A more bootylicious and sensual version of the electric slide that originated in Louisiana. The Wobble isn't the most fancy name for a dance but once you catch on its fun to do. 


5. The Dougie

Ok so its not quite a line dance but its still fun to do. Don't be so technical, ya know I had to throw a wrench in there somewhere. *giggles*


6. The Original Line Dance

This one's for my Anglo Saxon readers. Love ya'll. 


Enjoy your day folks :-) 

ALWAYS RELEVANT: Petey Greene on How to Eat Watermelon

This video doesn't need much of an introduction. Just do yourself and favor and watch it.

On this Independence Day, I appreciate Petey Green for all 6 of these minutes. I appreciate how he told us all to just "pick it up like this here" and to stop putting salt on the watermelon. Thank you Petey Greene. The world is better for this here contribution.

MOMENT OF TRUTH: Are you a Hoe?

Don't waste your female empowerment speech on me.  For clarity purposes, when I use "hoe" I mean it as the slang of the word whore. Moving on.  Of late, the innanets have been buzzing trying to figure out what makes someone a hoe? Are people born hoes or do they become hoes? No one is a hoe at their core,  right? No one wants to be a hardcore hoe, right? No one wants to be a thru and thru certified hoe who can't help but be a hoe, right? No one with extra letters behind their name is a hoe, right? These are loaded rhetorical questions. 


Lets make this shit Swarovski Crystal clear once and for all, shall we? People really don't know what makes a hoe a hoe. Thats problem #1. Its all a bunch of subjective bullshit designed to try to control how we live our lives. It used to be cut and dry. It used to be if you slept with a certain number of people you were a hoe. There was no room for questions or justifications. Thats why women lie about their numbers. Then the hoe lobbyists got involved and made it complicated.  Now your hoe status is judged by the things you have done. 
If you're chasing men you're a hoe. 
If you swallow you're a hoe. 
If you have sex on the first date you're a hoe. 
If you have sex within the first 90 days you're a hoe. 
If you eat french toast at night you're a hoe. 
If you don't follow me on twitter you're a hoe.
If you don't read this entire post you're a hoe.  
What if you chase a man who ends up being your husband? What if you swall...I'll leave that one alone. What if you have sex on the first date with someone you have known since Morgan Freeman was a little boy? See? Shit is subjective. 


Women are the only ones who really care about being a hoe. Men are hoes too but you don't see them stressing. You don't see them sleeping with a chick on the first date and then waking up the next morning needing a rendezvous with his boys so he can feel like he's still a good person. He doesn't need assurance about not being a hoe. He accepts being a hoe. Women aren't like that. We need assurance that sleeping with a man on the first date does not make us hoes. If you want to keep a woman from doing something just tell her its only something hoes do. 

Women have lost sight of who we really are because we don't want people to think we're a hoe. 

For the sake of this post and because its true in real life, we're going to say perception is reality. So if you do things that make you look like a hoe you're a hoe, K? This will not be debated. Don't bitch up now because its time to determine if you are, indeed, a hoe.  


1. Are your friends hoes? Studies show you are 110% more likely to be involved in hoe shit if your friends are also hoes. You are a hoe by association. Hoes of a feather...


2. Do you have a sex tape? I'm serious. Did you willingly make a sex tape? If you made a sextape and kept the footage you're a dreaming hoe. You will not be the next Kim Kardashian. Montana chocolatechipbooty Fishburne, I'm lookin at you girl.  


3. Have you ever had sex with two different people in the same day? This is the stuff Maury episodes are made of. If you have had sex with two different people in the same day, you're a hoe. 


4. Have you ever asked, "Am I a Hoe?" Chances are...you were a hoe at that moment. You might have done something you think only a hoe would do and it caused you to pause. That is ok. Its normal. Every woman will have at least one "Am I a hoe?" moment in her life. If you are a woman and you haven't had that moment, just wait its coming to ya. 


5. Have you Ever Flown to a City JUST to Have Sex? I'll let you draw your own conclusions about that one. 


6. Do You Have Sex For Money or Material Things? I don't care how much you needed that rent money or how badly you wanted those red bottoms. Guess who has sex specifically for money and/or material things? Hoes. 


7. Do You Dress Like a Hoe? The great comedian Dave Chapelle once said if you wear the uniform of a cop, then people will treat you like a cop. The same premise applies if you wear the hoe uniform. 


Don't shoot the messenger, kids. This isn't an episode of hoe hunters. I'm not here to point out hoes. I'm no here to save hoes. I'm not here to make hoes feel bad. I just wanted to clear up a few things. If you're a hoe, accept it. If you're not a hoe you're not a hoe. Stop justifying your actions to people who don't matter anyway.  Who you bust it open for is your business. Put your energy into becoming a better person. Kapeesh? 


Some of y'all are out here trying to live like you're a hoe and you're not. You just have hoe tendencies. Living your life making hoe-like decisions. You might have a one night stand every once in a while and give sloppy top on the way to the movies. You are allowed to make 5 hoe-like decisions before you are actually considered a hoe. Also, if it is has been 5 or more years since you did some hoe shit, you now a virtuous woman again. Chill out on chasing hoe dreams before you end up pregnant by an athlete on injured reserve. 

GUEST BLOGGER: Dwight Howard, C'mon Son!!!

I need to hit up Homie D Clown so he can come whack Dwight across the head with that damn sock. This is ridiculous. For unknown reasons, Dwight is writing, directing and starring in a soap opera at the expense of the Orlando Magic.  I remember when Nas tried to give reason for Jay-Z’s penchant for dissing women: “…Were you abused as a child, scared to smile, they called you ugly?”  That’s it! Dwight was abused as a child, scared to smile AND they called him ugly. We are all a witness to Dwight’s way of righting all the wrongs he dealt with as a child.  This is his moment to be the man.  Dwight has the spotlight and he is going to make damn sure every ounce of glow is squeezed out of it.

Let me step back. I want to make it crystal clear that I believe a player has every right to choose what team he will or won’t play for.  I am unequivocally opposed to the slave master/slave mentality a lot of the NBA team owners have towards their players (ex. Dan Gilbert vs. Lebron James). Here is my note to team owners: Athletes are not slaves. You do not own them. Their only obligation to you is to fulfill their contract.  You cannot dictate where players take their talents once their obligation to your franchise is fulfilled. The players are your business partners. Just as you have every right to disband the partnership and explore other opportunities at any time, the player has a right to explore other partnerships. With that said, there is still a certain amount of business etiquette that should be displayed when deciding how to handle the partnership going forward. Dwight Howard flushed every rule given to us by the business etiquette Gods down the shitter. 

What has he done exactly? Well instead of making his intentions of leaving Orlando and going to Brooklyn clear with a simple “I want to go to Brooklyn,” Dwight has been flopping like a fish out of water.  First he said he wanted to go to Brooklyn and play.  Then he tucked his nuts in his ball bag and professed his undying loyalty to Orlando by signing a free agent waiver.  I won’t even mention how he said he signed the waiver after a random run-in with a die-hard fan at an Orlando Waffle House. C’mon son! You’re making business decisions at Waffle House? In a good faith attempt to appease Dwight, Orlando followed up by firing their head coach and General Manager. Dwight is not one to let good things exist. This ninja responds to that by demanding a trade to the Brooklyn Nets and threatening to sue the Orlando Magic for blackmailing him into signing the waiver that took away his right to free agency. YES that waiver! That waiver he signed after the random meeting with the die-hard fan at Waffle House. Eh, I can’t make this stuff up. This is real life.  But at least we know Lebron is winning, because “The Decision” pales in comparison to what Dwight Howard has managed to pull off. Dwight is a fool for this one.

In the words of Ed Lover, “C’mon with this bull$hit son, you know better than this nonsense Dwight.”

Thoughts??

That Post About God

GREAT MORNING FOLKS! 

Surprised to see a post about God? I'm pretty sure some of you will never check my blog again. Thats fine. My younger sister is currently being prepped for surgery so naturally I sit with a heavy heart. For those who don't know me well, music is a big part of my life. I listen to it when I write, clean, drive and run etc. Most importantly, whenever I am in a funk and I need to break out of it, I turn to music. One of my go-to gospel songs is "Encourage Yourself" Whenever I need a solid burst of encouragement, I close my eyes and sing along. 

Sometimes you have to encourage yourself. 

Sometimes you have to speak victory during the test. 

And no matter how you feel, 

speak the word and you will be healed; 

speak over yourself, 

encourage yourself in the Lord. 

There is so much in that one verse. It is so true. Sometimes you have to stop and encourage yourself. You have to speak victory while you're being tested. You can't always look around to get encouraged. Your mom won't always understand. Your dad won't always understand. Your best friend won't always understand. Encourage yourself. Tell yourself you will get through this and be stronger for it. 

Sometimes you have to speak the word over yourself, 

the pressure is all around, 

but God is present help. 

The enemy created walls, 

but remember giants, they do fall; 

speak over yourself, 

encourage yourself in the Lord. 

I realize I may not reach all of you with this message. I know at least ONE of you needs to read this. I know what it feels like to look for a sign from God that things will be ok. To ask him if you made the right choice. To look for his guiding hand. I know what its like to have your heart thirst for reassurance. I know what its like to feel like you can't handle the pressure and face the real possibility of failure. I have been through it all, honey. There is nothing you can tell me about the greatness of God that I haven't already experienced for myself. I know my God is bigger than ANY problem that weighs on us. When you're troubled, don't self-medicate. Speak to God and trust him to order your steps.  


Anyway, I just stopped for a  moment to tell everyone to stay encouraged. I know some of you are prepping for the bar and I am praying for all of you. Some of you are underemployed or unemployed lookin for a job. Some of you don't know how you're going to pay your bills this month. I'm not here to predict what is troubling you. I'm no healer or prophet and I don't claim to be. I just want to encourage you. I may not go name by name or household by household but just know if I have come into contact with you, I am praying for you. Always. 

Love & Hip Atlanta: The Episode 3 Recap

Full disclosure: I realize this show is fake and scripted. They do a terrible job of trying to hide that. Its that train wreck I can't turn away from. 
**Edit** If you want to watch the full episode 3, click here. 
In case you missed it, peep the episode 2 recap.
I missed the first go around so this is what I got from watching the rerun. 
Of course we start with a recap from last week's fckry. Now, we all know whats gonna happen this week I just need vh1 to stop putting off the inevitable. 

11:00pm The show picks up where we left off last week with Stevie J & Joseline on that cum catching couch. "I"m very stingy with my cootie cat" proclaims Joseline as she explains her sexual prowess and threatens to take 50% of Stevie's earnings. Stevie grabs his jock.  Joseline admits Stevie J is the best she ever had. Oh, girl. 

11:03pm K Michelle meets producer B Cox at the studio. She wants to show off her talent for all the local producers. B. Cox gives her a speech about putting forth K. Michelle the brand at her artist showcase. K. Michelle recounts her experience with her previous label Jive records. She doesn't have anything to show for her deal. "I gotta kill it. I gotta be great but at the same time I gotta be honest with my emotions." Girl, ok. 

11:06pm Scrappy stops by to see his mom Momma-Dee at her house. Scrappy says  he just found a place to call his home. He wants understanding from Erica who doesn't show him affection even though the two are shackin' up. He doesn't think he needs to be with a woman to "mess with her the long way." For those who don't know what that means, he's saying he doesn't need to be in a monogamous relationship to have tons love and respect for his lady. Momma Dee's bang is giving me too much. Momma Dee isn't fond of Scrappy's ex, Diamond, and finds a way to throw shade at her whenever possible. Meanwhile, Diamond is still bumpin uglies and not givin a fck about any of these people with Soulja Boy. 

11:11pm Rasheeda's husband Kirk meets her at a restaurant. Goodness her earrings are hideous. Its like these women are in a "who can wear the ugliest earrings" race. She learns her tardiness in last week's episode cost her an extra $3,000. Pity. I'm guessing Rasheeda thinks the world owes her a round of applause. Rasheeda wants to keep the rights to her songs. Smart move girl. Those earrings tho? Dumb move. Their business relationship is wearing down on their marriage. I can tell Kirk is just about fed up. 

11:14pm Erica is troubled by Scrappy's decision to move out. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say its because she thinks its gonna make it easier for to him to get some new poon.  She's about to do somethin special for him and try to change his mind. Aint nothin like loyal pussy giving you the same pussy you've been gettin all along to try to make you change your already made-up mind. Girl, you so creative. Rose petals and candles. Oh well, it made Scrappy feel like Prince Akeem. It didn't work cuz he's still moving out. Womp womp! Erica wants Scrap to agree not to mess around with other chicks when he moves out. Who believes he'll stay faithful? Not I. 


11:17pm We're treated to an inside view of K. Michelle's showcase. YAY! *sarcasm* Here comes Rasheeda with these braids. They're just as ugly this time around. B. Cox is the MC. Isn't this the same place from last week? They don't have a lot of options to serve as a set do they? K. Michelle sings. Her shirt has porcupine sleeves. "Bury my heart" sounds a lot like "Wade in the Water" to me but I aint no hater. Stevie J is drunk and loud. He demands a kiss from Mimi who refuses. We all know he's gonna hit that later anyway. Karlie is being messy, as usual. 


11:26pm Erica mocks Stevie J and he catches her in the act. Funny funny. Erica didn't know Stevie J and Mimi were whatever they are.  Stevie J pulls a bitch move and steps to Erica calling her a bitch. He calls her a "disrespectful slut monkey" as he walks away. Real class act. I guess now we know why Scrappy is gonna mollywhop Stevie's ass. Mimi is the only one who doesn't get it. She has a lot to say when Stevie isn't around tho. Coward. 


11:28pm Stevie and Mimi meet up at an undisclosed location. Mimi wants to know why Stevie went off on Erica. Its cuz he is a bitch. That was easy. Stevie says he was mad at the world because he managed to get a man pregnant.  Ok that was  a paraphrase. Stevie, knowing Joseline is pregnant with his seed, still stands by his lie that he didn't have sex with Joseline. Mimi doesn't want "females" coming in between their relationship. Mimi's rose colored glasses are sooooo ironic. 

11:30pm Joseline is wearing a wig made entirely of baby hair. She lives in an apartment that has furniture from IKEA's dollhouse collection. She reveals to her neighbor she's pregnant. Her neighbor doesn't speak English as a primary language either. Joseline fondly remembers the night she and Stevie met. I can't understand what she's saying.  I can't understand what he's saying. I need some subtitles. 


11:37pm Scrappy is at Erica's place packing for his move. She tells Scrappy about the incident she had with Stevie J at K. Michelle's showcase. Scrappy explains how people get KILT. "I wanna put them paws on em." Oh, the imagery of Scrappy Doo in my head. Scrappy is on probation but declares he will avenge the disrespect Erica endured. For some reason, I think Erica is turned on by this. She a ratchet baby mama why wouldn't she be? Where do they live? Their apartment looks hella hood & "regular." 


11:40pm K. Michelle goes to visit Ariane to get her opinion on the showcase. K. Michelle says Karlie told her producer he signed the wrong artist. Messy messy. K.Michelle says producers don't hand out deals to 50 year old's who don't even have a Wikipedia page. Oh, the shade! 


11:46pm K. Michelle meets this fat dude Jeff Robinson. He's a music producer and the go-to guy for branding and building new artists who is responsible for Alicia Keys & Tyrese. She starts crying as he explains to her that she's damaged goods in the industry. Everyone thinks she's crazy. Robinson also hesitates about reppin K. Michelle. WHY does she remind me of Keyshia Cole before she got her gap fixed? 

11:49pm Joseline and Mimi are sitting at dinner. Why are they sitting at dinner? Don't answer that. Mimi is too calm. I don't buy this hardcore woman act she plays in her confessionals. Heffa got a whole lot to say when no one is there to bop her in the mouth. Mimi tells us all she's no fool and she knows exactly the kind of man she "got." No one believes her. We all think she's the head stupid hoe at the Club for Stupid Hoes. "I know who baby this is & you do too." Stevie J shows up and he STILL has the pregnancy test. In his pocket. Thats fuckin gross! He's carrying around a pissy pregnancy test like its a driver's license. Stevie is sloppy. This confirms his relationship with Joseline is not the strictly professional one they failed to sell the people. Why hasn't Mimi flipped that MF table? Mimi leaves and Stevie threatens to send Joseline back to the strip club. Joseline breaks off "what they have." Girl, you so independent. 


11:56pm We don't have much time for the rest of the fckry in last week's previews to unfold. After the scene in the restaurant, Stevie J follows Joseline into an alley covered in graffiti. Joseline claims she knows better now than she did when she met him at 24. Stevie J talks about giving her another life. Ya know, since he plucked her from a strip club? Son. I can't fuckin understand Joseline. See, this that shit I don't like. Stevie threatens that Joseline should watch how she speaks to him. Her earrings are ugly as shit. 


Next week's episode is sure to be a winner. Make sure you tune in to see Scrappy's mom tell him to scrap with Stevie, Mimi set Stevie straight about "f*ckin bitches" and more!!!